Page 55 of Finding Wonderland

Of course, the fact she was ten weeks pregnant with Isla Mackenzie’s baby added to the extra pep in her step these days.

They had chosen to do reciprocal IVF so Vera could carry Isla’s egg. The honor wasn’t lost on Vera, who’d spent every day the last ten weeks being insanely grateful to be on this journey with Isla. She had been lucky so far to avoid most of the morning sickness that typically came along with the first few weeks of pregnancy.

And Vera could almost convince herself she had the slightest baby bump, even if Isla joked that she was seeing things. All Vera knew was that she couldn’t wait to experience everything pregnancy had to throw at her. Even if that meant hours on her feet all night delivering two babies before seeing her morning patients without a nap.

She blamed her lack of sleep on the fact her lower back was starting to bother her. Normally, Vera was a heavy sleeper, but the last few nights, her sleep had been less than restful. Granted, she’d also delivered four babies after midnight in the last week, too. Which was why she easily wrote off the pain as nothing to worry about.

Right?

The seed of doubt stayed with Vera as she ate her peanut butter and jelly sandwich alone in her office. She wasn’t hungry, but knew she needed to eat something for herself and the baby. There was still an afternoon of patients waiting to be seen and Vera had a mom at the hospital in labor. Vera knew there was no rest for the weary; even the pregnant ones.

Standing from her desk, Vera gasped at the sudden cramp in her abdomen. It was stronger than period cramps, and it caught her off guard. She put her hand where the pain was, wincing as she pressed lightly.

Something isn’t right.

As an OBGYN, Vera knew all too well the chances of something going wrong early in a pregnancy. She hadn’t yet reached the point in her pregnancy where she felt safe that a miscarriage was behind her. But there was no time for Vera to think about it. One of her nurses, Melanie rushed into her office, informing her that her patient in labor was ready to start pushing.

Leaving her half-eaten sandwich on the desk, Vera hurried back to the labor and delivery floor and found her patient’s room. Melanie helped her get into a gown as she sat on the rolling chair between the woman’s legs. A sharp pain coursed through her body as she felt an even stronger cramp than before. But this time, it was accompanied by a warm sensation between her legs.

Vera knew then.

She knew her carefully laid plans for having a baby with Isla were gone. Her heart started to break, but she had a job to do. If she was miscarrying, there was nothing she could do. And right now, her patient needed her.

It was over an hour of coaching the woman on how to push and helping her bring a new life into the world. Vera tried not to think about how she had just helped birth a baby while losing her own. She could barely get her gown off as her head started to spin and her vision blurred.

“Hey,” Melanie grabbed Vera’s elbow, steadying her, “are you okay?”

Words were lost to Vera. She had no idea how to communicate anything to Melanie. Shaking her head, Vera lowered her gaze. Her whole staff knew she was pregnant. They only just celebrated the announcement a few weeks ago. It was then Melanie must have noticed the blood staining Vera’s magenta scrubs.

“Oh.”

Vera could see the momentary panic wash over Melanie’s face before snapping into action.

“It’s okay. Come on.”

Leading Vera out of the patient’s room, Melanie ushered Vera into a nearby open room. She helped Vera sit on the couch, which caused her to wince in more pain. Vera grabbed onto Melanie’s arm and squeezed.

“Call Isla. Please.”

“I will.”

Melanie was one of the best nurses Vera had ever worked with. She worked quickly and efficiently to take Vera’s vitals and scribbled them down on the notepad she kept in her scrub pocket.

“Can I get Stacey?”

Stacey Jameson was another OBGYN at the hospital. She’d done her fellowship alongside Vera, and the two were casual friends. Dr. Jameson was also Vera’s personal doctor, which meant she already knew Vera was pregnant.

Or, well. Had been pregnant.

Vera nodded. “After you call Isla.”

She wasn’t sure what happened after that. It was almost an out-of-body experience where she was completely disassociated with her body. She heard Melanie call Isla. Felt Melanie carefully taking off her shoes and pants before helping her onto the bed. Heard Stacey say it was a miscarriage as she ran the ultrasound wand over Vera’s stomach.

But everything was hazy until the door swung open, and Isla rushed in.

“Vera,” she half sobbed, half sighed as she rushed to her bedside. She grabbed tightly onto Vera’s hand, and it was then she could see the tears streaming down Isla’s face. “I’m here, Vera. I’m here.”

“I miscarried.” It was all she could say. She watched her words hit Isla as she leaned down and pulled Vera into a hug.

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