Page 117 of Finding Wonderland

She didn’t have to elaborate for Vera to know what she meant. Mason had been wanting her sister back in her life for years, but they both knew how she could be. As friendly and loving as Mason was to her family and friends, she could sometimes be standoffish with strangers. And despite the fact they were sisters, Blake was basically a stranger to her. Vera rubbed Isla’s back as she sat up beside her.

“It’ll be okay. Mason has wanted this, too. She may need some time, but she’ll come around. I know it.” Vera kissed her shoulder as Isla nodded. “Now, come on. We need to get some sleep. We have to get to know our daughter more tomorrow.”

Chapter 41

Isla

2020

Of all the Mackenzie traditions they’d started over the years, Isla’s favorite was wearing matching pajamas on Christmas morning. All the kids loved it, as did Isla and Vera. The kids always looked forward to waking up on Christmas morning with their new pajamas wrapped in a bow by their bed. They would all change and run downstairs in them as they celebrated the day together.

But as Isla stared down at three extra sets of pajamas this year, she began to worry she was overstepping.

She hadn’t talked to Blake or Alexis about their Christmas plans. Isla knew from years past that Alexis and Harper would spend Christmas Eve with Sophia, Emily, and their friends, but she didn’t know their Christmas Day plans yet. Vera had told her to ask weeks ago, but Isla never could get up the nerve, mostly because she didn’t want to be disappointed if they already had plans that didn’t include spending the day with them.

Isla picked up the pajama set she’d bought in Blake’s size and carefully tied a red ribbon around it. She’d spent over two decades hoping and praying that Blake would be back in their lives. And yet now that she was, Isla still felt like she was waiting for Blake to want to be involved in their lives.

Ever since she’d come to the Cove, Isla felt that Blake’s sole focus was Alexis. Not that Isla could blame her. She truly was happy that Alexis and Blake had found each other. But Isla would be lying if she told anyone that it didn’t bother her.

Because it did.

Much more than Isla let on.

And much more than she’d ever confess to Vera.

No matter how many times her wife asked her if she was okay.

Because Isla wasn’t okay.

Isla had spent twenty-five years imagining what it would be like to have Blake back in her life. She dreamed of spending time with Blake, getting to know her daughter, and loving her the way she did with all her other kids. When Blake showed up at the bar a few months ago, Isla truly believed all her dreams were finally coming true.

But then Blake met Alexis, and her focus seemed to shift from getting to know her family to getting to know Alexis. Isla had tried—and often failed—not to resent Alexis. She knew it wasn’t Alexis’s fault. Blake had fallen hard for Alexis and vice versa. And Isla was happy for them—she really was.

However, the happiness did little to numb the pain of the fact she’s barely had any time alone with Blake since she moved to the Cove. They’d only been able to talk a few times, and their conversations barely scratched the surface of all the feelings Isla was battling. Isla had spent too many nights to count crying in Vera’s arms asking her why Blake didn’t want to get to know her. Vera always comforted her, but more often than not her words fell on deaf ears.

Because all Isla felt was that Blake didn’t want to get to know her or her family. And the weight of that was slowly crushing Isla.

Why doesn’t she want to get to know me?

Why doesn’t she want to spend time with her siblings? Especially Mason?

Why doesn’t she want to get to know Vera?

Am I a bad mom?

There were more questions than answers and it made Isla want to scream.

But instead, she picked up her phone and called Alexis. She knew calling Blake now would be too emotional, especially if they did, in fact, already have plans for Christmas Day. Alexis answered on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Lex,” Isla tried to keep her voice upbeat, “how are you?”

“I’m good. We’re making cookies for Santa.”

“That sounds like fun.” Isla felt a pang in her heart as she pictured Blake making cookies with Alexis and Harper. She felt an angry tear slide down her cheek as she hurriedly wiped it away. “Is Blake there?”

“No, she’s at the grocery store. Are you looking for her?”

---