Page 95 of State of Grace

“We know,” Vera reassured. “And I know Alexis knows that, too. Go on up to your room and take a shower and a nap and then go back over there. I think you both just need some time right now.”

“I can’t lose her.” Blake didn’t dare look either of them in the eye. Instead, she stared at the wood grain on the oak table.

“Then don’t.” Kissing her head, Isla pulled her close once more as Vera hugged her from the other side. They stayed that way for several moments before Blake wiggled herself free and headed up to her apartment.

Her moms were right. Both she and Alexis needed time to process and think and - Blake yawned - she could really use a nap. Forgoing a shower in favor of crashing on the bed, Blake’s mind wandered back through the last twelve hours. How had things gone from beyond perfect to so messed up in such a short amount of time?

In the back of her mind, whether Blake wanted to admit it or not, she knew the paparazzi finding her and photographing her with Alexis was a possibility. Especially now where anyone with a cellphone could sneak a picture and sell it online to whoever would pay for it. She regretted not telling Alexis it was a possibility; after all, Alexis had no idea what Blake’s life was like every time she walked out the door. Paparazzi came with the territory for her. But not for Alexis.

Although there was no going back, Blake wished more than anything they’d skipped the dinner altogether and gone straight for the inn instead. At least that way the picture wouldn’t have been taken and their perfect night might possibly have carried over into the perfect morning.

Instead, Blake was lying alone in her bed on the verge of tears once more.

A nap eluded her as she tried to figure out her next move. She had to go back and try to talk to Alexis again. Maybe her moms were right; maybe having a few hours to think would help Alexis see that this wasn’t Blake’s fault and that they could work through this. Blake knew beyond a shadow of a doubt she’d do anything and everything in her power to help Alexis see that.

After a few hours and a quick shower, Blake borrowed Isla’s Jeep and headed back to Alexis’s apartment. She stopped at The Pizza Palace and picked up two large pizzas - one sausage and one veggie - in her feeble attempt at a peace offering. Blake sent a text to Alexis as she parked and begged the Delivered note to turn to Read under the message. When nothing happened, Blake balanced the pizzas in her hand and headed for the door.

She rang the bell and waited once more. Surprisingly, she heard footsteps on the other side of the door followed by the blessed sounds of the door unlocking and opening.

“Lex.” Blake let out a sigh of relief. Although Alexis’s eyes were red and swollen, they held the smallest bit of regret that Blake hadn’t expected to see. “I brought some pizzas.”

“Thanks.” Taking the boxes, Alexis sat them inside the door before stepping outside.

“Can we talk?”

Alexis nodded and crossed her arms over her oversized sweatshirt as she pushed her tongue into her cheek. She was clearly fighting tears, the same as Blake was.

“I had no idea that article was going to be published, and I had no idea those pictures were taken last night. None.” She reached out for Alexis, but she took a step back. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the possibility of a spin-off. I realize now that I should have told you, but I honestly don’t know if it’s even going to happen or not and it will all boil down to my decision whether to do it or not. I figured why worry you unnecessarily until I know something for sure.”

“You’re only saying that because of how bad things went down. If you had wanted to tell me, you would have. But you didn’t.” A sob escaped from her lips. “You made a conscious decision not to tell me, and instead, you let me believe you were going to go film a few quick shots then come back here. Back to me.”

“Because that’s all I’m doing, Lex. Please believe me. I’m done with the show. As soon as I get back to Vancouver, I’m telling them I quit.” Blake begged the tears to not to fall from her eyes. They didn’t listen. “I love you, Alexis. I want to be with you and Harper here in the Cove. I want this to work between us. You know that.”

“How do I know that?” Her words were harsher than Blake was expecting, indicating Alexis was still on guard over the whole situation. “We never said we were dating or that we were girlfriends or anything. We said we were going to see what this was, and apparently, it was a disaster waiting to happen.”

“You don’t mean that.” Blake’s voice cracked as hot tears fell onto her cheek. She reached out for Alexis’s hand but stopped short. “Alexis, I love you. Believe me when I say that.”

“I love you too, but...” Shaking her head, Alexis looked away and wiped tears from her eyes before looking back at Blake. “I can’t do this. Not right now. It’s one thing when it’s you and me safe in one of our apartments, and no one else is around, but it’s another thing entirely when my life starts getting plastered all over social media. And it’s unbearable to think that our lives could negatively affect Harper. I…I can’t do that. I’ve always put my daughter first, and I’ve failed her by letting my guard down.”

“You know I would never knowingly put you or Harper in any situation that was dangerous. I’m sorry that I didn’t think about paparazzi. I honestly thought we were safe there.”

“I need time to think about how all this,” she motioned her hand back and forth between them. “Please understand that.”

“I do, Lex.” She fervently nodded. “I do. Take your time. We can figure this out. We are worth fighting for. Don’t you agree?” Alexis only nodded. Blake could tell she wanted to say something but kept quiet instead.”Ok, well, I guess I’ll go. Would it be ok if I called you when I got to Vancouver tomorrow?”

Alexis bit her bottom lip. “Is it ok if I call you when I’m ready?”

“Of course.” Blake nodded, only feeling slightly rejected by Alexis’s counter offer. “Take your time. I’ll be here. Always.”

With another nod, Alexis turned and headed back in the door. Blake resisted the urge to grab her arm and pull her into a hug. She needed that reassurance in that moment that everything was ok but understood Alexis needed time.

Before the door fully closed behind Alexis, it opened again.

“Oh,” Sophia’s voice dropped slightly as she made eye contact with Blake. “I’m guessing you’re the pizza delivery person then.”

“Yeah, I thought you all might like some for dinner. There’s a veggie pizza for you and a sausage for Harper, since that’s her favorite.”

“Well, that was very nice of you.” The sincerity in Sophia’s voice caught Blake off guard. She hesitated for a moment then asked, “did you two work things out?”

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