Page 92 of State of Grace

“And you’re going to believe that article over me?”

“I don’t know what I believe right now.” Frustrated, Alexis ran her hands through her hair before sitting down on the stiff chair between the bed and the balcony door. Her head was spinning. She’d believed Blake last night; she’d believed her when she said they could work things out. Alexis knew they could; she knew they could make things work between them, it was the outside world she had her doubts about.

Alexis wasn’t sure if the Hollywood life was something she could handle.

With her picture plastered all over the internet for everyone – including her rapist – to see, Alexis had to seriously think about whether having it be a common occurrence was something her mental health could handle. Her sweaty palms and rapid heartbeat were clear indicators she could not take it.

“Lex, come on. It isn’t a big deal.” Blake got on her knees in front of Alexis and took hold of her hands. “In the grand scheme of things, this picture isn’t the worst thing. You can barely see your face.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Meaning?” Blake tilted her head at her.

“Meaning that now my name is forever out for the world to know where I am. For my rapist to know where I am.” Alexis gritted her teeth and begged the tears not to fall. “This time, it was a picture of us kissing in a restaurant, but what if we were out with Harper and someone snapped a picture of us and plastered it all over the internet? Have you ever thought about that?” She scoffed. “I mean, hell, I didn’t think about it until now, and, I have to be honest, Blake, I don’t know if I like it.”

“What does that mean?” The emotion in Blake’s voice was almost palpable. Her voice cracked, and tears clouded her blue eyes. “Lex, please. I love you.”

“I love you too, but I haven’t been thinking about Harper. All this time, I’ve been so blind to falling in love with you that I forgot Harper is my first love. She has to come first and if I had been thinking about her and not of myself, I would have realized the risk of dating you a lot sooner.”

“Lex, please.” Blake took hold of her arm as Alexis spun around to look at her. Tears were streaming down her face, and Alexis resisted the urge to wipe them away as she packed up her belongings. “Don’t leave like this. Let’s talk. Please.”

“I need time to think.” The words were barely a whisper as they left Alexis’s mouth. She avoided looking into Blake’s eyes. One look into them, and she knew the walls she could feel rebuilding around her heart would begin to crumble all over again. She needed to be mad, to be hurt, and to process. Pushing Blake away, Alexis gathered her dress off the floor, stuffed it into the duffle bag, and pulled out a pair of sweatpants. “I knew our lives were different, but this feels like more than I’m ready or able to take on right now. It’s a lot. I need to think.”

Slinging the duffle bag onto her shoulder, she headed for the door with Blake’s quick footsteps behind her. Alexis was thankful that the elevator doors were already open, and she stepped inside and hit the button for the first floor. On the other side of the elevator’s threshold, Blake stopped walking, and their eyes locked once more.

When the doors closed, Alexis frustratingly slammed her hand on the back of the elevator. She hated herself for letting her guard down. She hated that she’d happily worn blinders about her and Blake’s relationship. Their lives were too different, and suddenly there were pictures of the two of them plastered all over the internet. When the elevator doors dinged open, Alexis wasn’t the least bit surprised to find that Blake had sped down the stairs to beat her to the first floor.

“Blake, please. Leave me alone right now.”

“Lex, please.” Blake grabbed onto her wrist tightly, but Alexis didn’t stop walking. She didn’t dare turn to face Blake. Alexis knew that if she did, Blake’s sad blue eyes were going to be impossible to drag her eyes away from again. Finally, the inn’s automatic doors opened, and Alexis let out a sigh of relief at the sight in front of her.

“Let her go.” Sophia stepped out of the Tesla and walked over to them with more control than Alexis would have expected from her in the current situation. Blake did as she was told, and Alexis went to Sophia.

“Sophia, please, let me explain.”

“I knew something like this would happen.” Wrapping her arm around Alexis’s shoulder, she held her close in a protective way. Sophia could have wrestled a tiger at that moment, Alexis was sure of it. “I should have protected you from her.”

“From me?” Blake’s face showed pure shock. “I didn’t do this. I knew nothing about the pictures. You know how paparazzi are. This wasn’t my fault.”

“Mmm, I’m sure it isn’t.” She snarled the words at Blake. “You know, I didn’t want to trust you. Something always felt off about you. But Alexis asked me to give you a chance, and I did, and you fucked it up. Big time.”

“God, if either of you would shut up long enough for me to explain.”

“No!” Sophia pulled herself away from Alexis and pointed a finger at Blake. “It appears to me that Alexis has made it very clear that she doesn’t want to talk to you right now. So, unless you want new pictures on the internet of me calling the cops on you, I suggest you leave her alone.”

As Sophia said the words, Alexis felt her heart shattering. She’d wanted to trust Blake; hell, she had trusted her. But having a life under a spotlight wasn’t something that Alexis thought she could do. Her feelings for Blake had so blinded her that she hadn’t seen far enough into their future to see that something like this could happen. Tabloids were always looking for a great picture, and Alexis knew that.

She just didn’t know if she wanted to be on the other side of the camera.

“Come on, Soph. I want to go home.” Taking Sophia’s hand in hers, Alexis turned and headed for the Tesla. Her hand was on the door before she heard the sob escape Blake’s lips.

The words were barely audible, but they pierced Alexis’s heart. “Lex…please don’t go.”

Not looking back, Alexis got into the car, and Sophia sped away before their seatbelts were even buckled. The ride home was quiet. Sophia placed a hand on her knee and left it there as they drove, and it said more than any words ever could. When they arrived at the apartment, Alexis watched Sophia change the passcode on the door before heading up the stairs.

“Blake doesn’t know the code.”

“This is to keep everyone out today. Come on.” Placing an arm around Alexis’s waist, Sophia led her up the stairs. “Emily’s with Harper. She’s had breakfast, and they’re in our apartment. Let’s go get you showered and changed into more comfortable clothes, ok, mon amour?”

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