Page 59 of State of Grace

“Not my fault you make a damn good Long Island.”

“True that.”

“But that’s not what I meant.”

“I know.” Alexis nodded as she filled another glass of water and sat it beside the one Blake had drank. Her heart raced at the possibility of a revelation that would include Blake telling her she regretted ever suggesting there was something between them. Alexis could talk herself into a spiral faster than anyone, and if she wasn’t careful, she was headed for a pretty big spiral.

“I mean, why did I come here?” Blake dramatically motioned around the bar. “To this bar, to Moonflower Cove. I don’t know what I was expecting.”

“You came to see your mom and sister, right?”

“Yeah, but they’re better off without me.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true.” The pained laugh nearly broke Alexis’s heart as Blake averted her eyes. She ran her finger around the rim of the water glass mindlessly. “Mom has a family here and a life, and Mason is weird but seems to have her shit together, and I…I don’t know how or if I fit into all of that. Maybe I don’t belong here.”

Alexis didn’t dare interject; Blake was clearly hurting and needed to talk, and Alexis was willing to be her listening ear. Even if the words Blake was saying were sending daggers to her heart. Of course, Blake would second guess their relationship before it even had the chance to become a fully formed relationship.

Focus, Lex. Focus.

She forced herself to focus on Blake and not on herself for at least a few more moments.

“All my life, I’ve wondered what life would have been like if I’d grown up with her. Now that I know what I missed out on, I can’t deal with it. I missed so much. So fucking much.” Blake angrily wiped at a tear that had fallen. “Everyone thinks I have this great life, but it’s all a show. It’s a stupid show.”

“Your life is more than the show.”

“But it’s not.” Blake shook her head as she twirled the straw around in her drink. “My entire life has been working on one show or another. No one ever asked me what I wanted, and I never thought that I had the option to ever say that I didn’t want the cookie-cutter life ithad become. I wanted more. I want more.”

“Why don’t you go home and sleep this off, ok?” Alexis’s voice caught in her throat as she pulled her phone from her back pocket. “Let me call you an Uber or…”

“No.” Blake attempted to reach out across the bar to grab the phone from Alexis. “No pictures of this. TMZ will have a blast with this one.”

“Chill out. Neither I nor TMZ want a picture of you looking like this.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She didn’t give Alexis any time to respond. “And don’t call an Uber. They can be sneaky and send pictures to the press without you knowing it.”

“Ok, fine.” Alexis held up her hand as she put the phone back into her pocket. She walked around the bar to Blake and motioned for her to stand up. Putting an arm around Blake’s waist, she helped her to her feet. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?” Blake had no balance whatsoever and put nearly her entire weight onto Alexis as they walked to the kitchen.

“I’m taking you home.”

“No,” Blake whined, “I can’t go back there. I can’t deal with the perfect house and the perfect kids and the perfect moms and the perfect life I missed out on.”

“Fine. You can go to my apartment and sober up.”

“You’re really nice. Do you know that?”

“Yeah, sure. Hey, Em!” Alexis waited until Emily looked at her from the other side of the kitchen. She looked confused for a brief moment as if trying to process the scene in front of her. “I’m heading out. Bar’s clean, but can you double-check before you head out?”

“Yeah, sure thing.”

“Thanks.” Beside her, Blake stumbled slightly, and Alexis tightened her grip on her hip to keep her from falling. Blake patted her breast then her arm as she looked at Emily.

“She’s really nice. Do you know that?”

“So, I’ve heard.” Emily didn’t bother to hide her laugh as Alexis stuck her tongue out at her and walked Blake out the back door like two people in a three-legged race, somehow managing to get her to the car. Alexis helped Blake into the passenger seat and buckled her in before running over to the driver’s side. She paused briefly to take in a deep breath before she freaked out over the fact that Blake was in her car and they were going back to her apartment. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Alexis got into the car and started the engine.

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