Page 47 of State of Grace

“Probably because you didn’t answer any of my calls or texts, nor did you come to either of my baby showers.” Alexis angrily wiped a tear from her eyes. “You were there when every other grandkid was born except for Harper. You weren’t there for us, and until right now, I always felt sad for Harper and me because of that; but now, I feel sorry for you. Because you missed out on knowing one hell of a kid.”

Waving a dismissive hand at Moira, Alexis turned slightly to leave before pausing.

“Harper’s the greatest kid in the world. You’ve been a crappy grandmother to her since she was born. You’ve never wanted to spend time with her or get to know her, or even show up to a birthday party. You can be shitty to me all you want, but Harper doesn’t deserve that. She’s never done anything to deserve for you to treat her like that, and you should be ashamed of yourself for letting whatever problem you have with me stop you from getting to know your granddaughter.”

Stepping down the first two steps, Alexis wasn’t surprised when she heard the front door shut behind her. However, she was surprised by Moira walking speedily past her to cut her off on the last step. “You are quite an interesting puzzle, Alexis.”

The anger and frustration that had laced Moira’s voice were gone and in its place was a softer tone than Alexis had ever heard before.

“You’re not like me, or your father, or your siblings. You’re so strong-headed, and I didn’t – I don’t – know how to handle that, so I didn’t. I don’t handle it.”

“It’s easier to forget I exist.”

“Look,” Moira pinched the bridge of her nose, “I know that I haven’t handled anything involving you right from the day you were born.”

“You think?” Alexis snarked.

“See, this is why I can’t talk to you. You’re so opinionated, and you say what’s on your mind with no regard to how that makes anyone else around you feel.”

“Gee, Mom, I wonder where I learned that from?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You have always said exactly what you were thinking about me in front of me with no regard to how that made me feel. I was always ‘too much,’ that’s what you always said. I was too loud, too needy, too annoying, too unruly, too outgoing, too gay, too much. You said those things to me all the time, and you know what? I believed them. Because it was you telling and you are my mother and what you stay sticks whether I want it to or not. You always told Cole and Grace and Dylan how proud you were of them and how you loved them, and you never once told me that.”

“Don’t be dramatic.”

Alexis bitterly laughed as she shook her head. “I don’t know why I came here. I was expecting you to listen to what I had to say and understand how your words – and at times, lack of words – affected me, but now I know that you don’t care. According to you, I was your big screw-up in life and went on to screw up my own life, so I guess you were right after all. Harper,” she called over her shoulder, “let’s go.”

Neither Moira nor Alexis said anything else as Harper rejoined them and took Alexis’s hand. She smiled up at Moira, offering her a quick wave goodbye as Alexis walked her over to the car. Opening the backdoor, Alexis let Harper inside and grabbed her bag. Alexis took the ticket she’d purchased for the play's opening night and turned back around toward Moira.

“I don’t know what I was thinking in bringing this, but I had hoped that you could come.” Extending the ticket out to Moira, Alexis waited for her to take the few steps to grab it from her. “I’m playing the lead. A lawyer, actually, which is funny to me considering how hard I rebelled against that specific career path growing up. Anyway, I thought,” she shrugged, “that maybe you could use a night off from taking care of Dad and might enjoy it. It’s paid for and in the back, because I know you’d want to be near an exit in case Dad needed you. You can use it or not. It’s up to you.”

Moira only nodded in response as she looked down at the ticket in her hand. Heading back to the car, Alexis hopped in and headed down the street; looking in the rearview mirror at Moira still standing in the front yard. She was still looking at the ticket, and Alexis hoped she took it as the peace offering Alexis meant it to be and nothing else.

“Mommy?”

“Yes, baby?”

“I love you.” Leaning up in her booster seat, Harper patted Alexis’s shoulder as they looked at each other in the rearview mirror. Alexis’s heart swelled at how Harper always knew what she needed. She covered her hand with her own and squeezed.

“I love you too, Harp. Are you hungry?”

“Yup!”

“You wanna go to Mommy’s work or somewhere else to eat?”

“Is Emmy at work?”

“She is.”

“Emmy!” Harper pumped her fist in the air as Alexis turned left out of the subdivision and headed back toward downtown. She turned up the Taylor Swift song playing through the Bluetooth as she and Harper sang along to every word. When they arrived at Straight to Ale, Alexis was relieved they’d apparently missed the lunchtime crowd. There was no line for a table, although nearly all were occupied.

“Hey, Marcus.” Alexis greeted the host at the entrance. “Table for two, please, in Emily’s section, if possible.”

“Absolutely.” The young boy marked off a table on the tablet and picked up two menus. “Right this way.” Motioning them to follow him, they were seated at a small booth along the dividing wall that separated the bar area from the rest of the dining room. Emily was behind the bar and waved at them as they sat.

“Mommy, can I go see Emmy?”

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