Page 40 of State of Grace

“That’s real mature, Alexis.”

“Yes, well.” She got into the car and slammed the door shut behind her. Rolling down the window, she looked up at Blake. Alexis wanted to tell her she was sorry for freaking out, but She knew that would lead to Blake saying it was ok and giving her those understanding eyes she’d given her earlier, and Alexis couldn’t deal with that. She needed to be mad, at least for a while.

It wasn’t fair to Blake, which made everything worse. Alexis should never have kissed her. Never should have let herself fall for Blake Calloway. It was best to stop everything before it had the chance to go any farther. Blake would simply have to go back to being Isla’s daughter and apparently Bryce’s new assistant, but that was it.

“I can’t do this,” Alexis begged her tears to hold off a little longer. “I’m sorry.”

Rolling up her window, Alexis backed out of the parking spot and peeled out onto the street. She didn’t look in her rearview mirror; there was no way she could look at Blake. Alexis drove the few short blocks home and ran up the stairs to her apartment. As she pushed open the apartment door, she was surprised to see Sophia sitting on her couch working on a crossword puzzle. Alexis quickly wiped the few tears that had managed to escape off her face.

“Soph, hey, what are you doing here?”

“What’s wrong?” Sophia was on her feet and to Alexis in record time. Alexis wanted to stay strong, but instead, she let Sophia envelop her in a hug. “Oh, mon amour, what happened? Was rehearsal bad?”

“No, rehearsal was fine.” She shook her head against Sophia’s chest. “It’s Blake.”

“What happened?” Putting her hands on Alexis’s shoulder, Sophia took a step back as she studied her face. Sophia knew her better than anyone. Alexis knew there would be no way of talking herself out of this one. And Alexis didn’t want to. She was ready to talk about it. “Did she do something to you? I will kill her if…”

“No, don’t kill anyone.” Alexis rolled her eyes as she walked past Sophia and sat on the couch. Following behind her, Sophia slowly sat beside her and placed a hand on her knee. “Blake didn’t do anything. It’s me. I’m the idiot.”

“I doubt that, but tell me what happened.”

“She told me she liked me.”

“Wow.” The shock flashed across Sophia’s face as she shook her head. “Wow, ok. I didn’t know you two had hung out enough for her to realize that, but I guess I was wrong.”

“You know last week when Emily and I took Blake to get ice cream?” Sophia nodded. “Well, when she was walking me back home…there was this moment. I don’t know how to describe it, but she looked so beautiful, and the next thing I know, we’re lip locked outside the apartment door.”

“I knew I should have checked the tape when Emily said Blake had walked you home.”

“Soph,” Alexis picked up the pillow wedged between her body and the couch arm and threw it at Sophia. They had cameras everywhere, and it was a joke that they used them more to stalk people than for actual protection. “Focus, please.”

“I’m a Nikon camera.”

“Thank you.”

“So…you kissed Blake.”

“Or she kissed me. I don’t know. We kissed, yeah.”

“And,” she paused, “how does that make you feel?”

“Geez, when did you become my therapist?”

“Since you stopped going and someone had to take over for her.” Sophia patted her knee several times before tucking her hair behind her ear. It had been a point of contention between them that Alexis had stopped going to therapy. She’d always meant to go back, but the longer she waited, the harder it got to start again. “Talk to me, Lex.”

“Why the hell would she kiss me?”

“Because she likes you.”

“But why does she like me? She could have her pick of people in Hollywood. And I’m just me.” The angry tears pooling in her eyes finally let loose as they ran down her face. Alexis tried to laugh it off, but there was nothing funny about it. “I’m nothing special.”

“Alexis Rene Holland,” Sophia gently took hold of Alexis’s chin and lifted it to her face, “you are so beautiful you don’t even realize it. You have curves that some women, my skinny ass included, would die to have. And, honey, don’t get me started on those gorgeous eyes of yours.”

“Soph…” She’d never been able to take a compliment, but when they came from Sophia, they meant more than coming from anyone else. Sophia knew her; the good, the bad, and the ugly. She had been there for Alexis during her darkest period, in which Alexis wasn’t sure she would have survived. It had been Sophia and Harper that had pulled her through those days.

“Listen to me, honey. You’ve overcome so much in your life, and you’ve become so strong because of it. You have an amazing daughter who absolutely adores you. You have friends who would do anything for you. And you have me, your person, sitting beside you and telling you how great you are and begging you to listen to her.”

“I am listening.”

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