Page 39 of State of Grace

Especially Blake.

If Blake knew her truth – the ugly, painful truth about her darkest days and the events that led to Harper – she’d run for the hills. Alexis was too fucked up to ever be loved by someone like Blake. She believed that with every fiber of her being. The flirting and the kissing had been fun, but if Blake was feeling what Alexis thought they might be feeling, a flip had switched inside her soul and told her to run. The doors that she’d barely opened for Blake quickly slammed shut around her heart.

“I don’t know what Isla told you, but she had no right to tell my story.”

“She didn’t want me to worry if you were closed off.”

“Closed off?” Alexis spat the words at her. “She said that?”

“Well, yeah.” Blake shrugged again and laughed, but it fell short. She looked so nervous, and for a moment, Alexis felt sorry for her; until she remembered that there was a considerable possibility that Blake knew more about her personal life than Alexis wanted her to. “Mom wanted me to know that there was a reason if you didn’t open up to me.”

“God, I love when people who have no right to it butt into my life for no goddamn reason.” Throwing her hands up in the air, Alexis walked past Blake and put her bag into the backseat before slamming it shut.

“Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad.” She sounded exactly like Harper at that moment, and it made her pause.

“Well, clearly you are.”

“And, gee, I wonder why?” She put a hand on her hip and spun around to face Blake. “I barely know you, and now, there’s a good possibility that you know things about my past that I never wanted you to know. Isla knows every one of my dirty secrets that I don’t parade around, and you’re the last person I’d want to know them.”

“You don’t mean that,” Blake’s voice cracked.

“Oh, no, I do.” She nodded firmly. “This,” Alexis motioned between them, “was a mistake. I have no idea why I was letting myself fall for you. I mean, you’re Blake Calloway. You could have your pick of anyone in the world, and yet, here you are, kissing me in the parking lot. Why the fuck would someone like you want to get to know someone like me?”

“Because I like you.”

Alexis wanted to scream. She wanted to let out her emotions by belting them out like Harper did when she was little and didn’t know how to express her feelings. There was no way on God’s green earth that Blake Calloway had just admitted that she liked her. Blake Calloway who was the most beautiful woman Alexis had ever seen. Blake Calloway who was the first person ever to make Alexis feel alive with a simple kiss.

A kiss that rocked Alexis’s world.

A kiss that suddenly tasted bitter on her lips.

Was Blake only being nice to her? Had Isla told her about her past? Did Blake feel sorry for her and see her as an easy target? Someone she could whisk off her feet and help pass her time in the Cove until she got the next call for a movie or TV show? It made more sense than Blake actually being interested in her.

“Alexis?” Blake took a step toward her, but Alexis took a step back. “Say something.”

“I don’t know what to say. I’m so mad right now.”

“Why? I thought you liked me, too?”

“What does it matter?” Alexis threw her arms up in frustration.

“It matters to me.”

“Why are we even talking about this?”

“Because I want you to know that you can open up to me.”

“Why in the world would I open up to you? I barely know you.”

“We could get to know each other if you open up to me.” Reaching out, Blake took hold of her hands before Alexis could pull them away. Alexis wasn’t prepared for the understanding in Blake’s eyes. “Look, I am sorry I said anything. I promise Isla didn’t tell me much. Hardly anything. She told me about Michelle and how she’d hurt you, and she told me to listen to you, ok? That’s it.”

Alexis wanted to believe her; she wanted to believe that Isla had only told her about Michelle. In the grand scheme of things, Michelle was the part in her past that Alexis would have opened up to before anything. After all, Michelle had been the catalyst that had sent Alexis spiraling down to the lowest point in her life. She only hoped that Isla hadn’t said anything else. Alexis wouldn’t be able to look into Blake’s eyes if she knew she knew everything about her life.

“You can’t stay mad at me forever.”

“Oh, I can’t?” She pulled her hands free from Blake’s once more and opened her car door as she scoffed. “Haley Miller made me mad in the third grade, and I still refuse to wait on her when she comes into the bar.”

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