Page 57 of State of Grace

“No.”

“Fine. I’ll play you for it.” Spinning around in her tennis shoes, Isla tossed the ball and got nothing but net. Blake was impressed; she hadn’t expected that from her mom. “First one to five wins. If I win, you tell me what’s bothering you. If you win, I’ll leave you alone.”

“You’re on.”

The game was infinitely more competitive than Blake could have anticipated. It was evident that Isla had played ball before as more than a fun hobby with the kids. She could make shots Blake could only hope to land, and when the score was tied four-four, Blake worried she was either going to have to open up or run away and never look back.

“Goal!” Isla shouted as she pumped her arms in the air. Blake didn’t want to smile, but she looked so damn dorky in her mom jeans and t-shirt that she had to laugh. Grabbing the basketball, Isla placed it on her hip and looked at Blake. “You want to talk?”

“I did agree to the terms of the game.” Blake walked over to the small retaining wall beside the garage and sat; Isla did the same with a smile. She ran her hands over her yoga pants and prepared herself for the barrage of questions she knew would come from Isla. “So, I got a call today from my agent.”

“Oh,” Isla’s voice fell.

“Yeah.”

“What did she say?” Her voice was higher pitched, and it didn’t go unnoticed.

“They’re in negotiations with a new studio about picking up the show, apparently.” Blake shrugged. “I don’t have details yet, but if they go forward with it…”

She let the words hang in the air for a moment. Isla handed the basketball to her as Blake bounced it a few times. Blake appreciated the gesture.

“If they go forward with it, you’ll have to leave.”

“Yeah.” She huffed. “I mean, it’s not like I planned on moving here, you know? I was planning to come here and reconnect with you and Mason and get to know Vera and the kids. I never,” her voice hitched in her throat, and Isla lightly touched her shoulder, “I never thought in a few short weeks this place would feel like home.”

“This place will always be your home. Even if you go back to Vancouver, you can always come back here. The garage apartment is yours for as long as you want it.”

“I know, and thank you.”

“I may be overstepping here, but,” Isla tucked her hair behind her ear as she looked away from Blake, “would a certain someone have anything to do with this decision being so hard on you?”

“There’s no decision to make right now.” She snapped the words defensively as she stood. Blake bounced the ball back and forth in her hands, shaking her head as she tried to focus on what she wanted to say. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to snap.”

“It’s ok.” Isla crossed her legs. “I’m an excellent sounding block.”

“Everything is happening so fast with Alexis, and I don’t want to mess that up.” Blake tried not to notice the twinkle in Isla’s eye or the way she smiled at the mention of Alexis’s name. “I worry that if I leave, she won’t give me a second chance. I know my life isn’t for everyone, and I’ve only known Alexis for a few weeks and can tell that she’s nervous about this. About being in a relationship. Or whatever the hell is happening between us.”

“Alexis puts up a strong front, but you’ve pegged her on being nervous. She’s not dated anyone since Harper was born. It’s a huge deal that she’s interested in you and is letting you in her world. She’s a tough nut to crack.”

“Which is why I don’t want to hurt her.” Blake angrily bounced the ball, which hit her foot, and ricocheted off into the grass. “I knew this was a possibility. I didn’t think it would happen two days after asking Alexis if we could see where things went with us. Apparently, it’s going right back to fucking Vancouver, and I hate Vancouver.”

“Are you under a contract?” Her brow furrowed at Isla’s question. “I mean, do you have to go back if the show’s picked up?”

“Well, no, I don’t have to.” It was a possibility Blake had considered but knew she wouldn’t act on it. “But I can’t do that to my costars and the writers and the fans.”

“You’re so much like me.” Her voice was dreamy, and it caused Blake to be on guard. She wasn’t sure where the turn in the conversation was going, and that made her nervous. “You will do anything for anyone and expect nothing in return. You’re selfless, and seeing you doing the same thing makes my heart happy to know that you’re like me.”

“I’m not like you.” Once again, Blake spat the words, although she didn’t mean to. “I’m not selfless. I am completely selfish for dragging Alexis into this when I knew – I fucking knew – that this would happen. I knew it, and I am still leading her to believe that I will be here long enough for what? To have a fucking relationship with me?”

Blake tossed up her hands in the air and took a few steps away from Isla. She should have kept walking, gone upstairs to the apartment, decompressed, and not yelled anymore. But instead, she spun around on her heels and pointed a finger at Isla.

“And why the hell did I spend the last twenty-five years of my life thinking my mother didn’t love me when you were out there building a whole new life without me?”

“I wanted you in my life, Blake. In our lives. But I didn’t…”

“Don’t you dare tell me that bullshit that you didn’t know where I was. You fucking knew. You sent me letters. You knew where I was. And, the last few years, my convention schedules have been all over the internet, so if you wanted to see me, you could have easily made it happen. It’s complete bullshit that you claim you didn’t know where I was.”

“Listen here, Blake.” Isla went from calm and collected to pissed off bitch in the blink of an eye. It was a side of her Blake had never seen, and she took a step back as Isla approached her. “I knew where you were, yes, and I knew your convention schedule, yes, but what did you want me to do? Show up in an autograph line out of the blue? Storm the soundstage looking for you? I thought you were getting the letters and weren’t responding. And why didn’t you ever try to find me? You have money to blow on private investigators and all that shit. Why didn’t you bother to look for me?”

---