“Seems to run in the family,” Toni says. She stands, zips up her coat, and says, “Come on. I know just the place.”
Our boots crunch through the fresh snow along a thin, winding trail that hugs the bank of the creek running behind the house. We come to a cute little bridge, its rails piled with snow that fell overnight. The creek gurgles beneath us and a bird takes off from a nearby tree, sending a shower of snow onto the ground. A clear blue sky peeks through the trees.
“It’s going to be a nice day,” Toni says.
She’s looking up, giving me a chance to take her in. Her hands are shoved deep into her Fourteener blue down coat, and she’s wearing the hiking pants I like so much, because of course she is. Unruly strands of her curly hair stick out from her braid, dark and stark against the snowy landscape, and her blue eyes somehow more vivid in this light than they’ve ever been before. My stomach swoops as if I’m at the top of a rollercoaster staring down at the long drop, terrified and excited in equal measure.
“Beautiful,” I say, my eyes on Toni.
She drops her gaze to me, realizes what I meant, and blushes.
I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry about yesterday. How I snapped at you about Shae. It was completely uncalled for.”
“No, no, it’s OK,” Toni says.
“No, it’s not. You didn’t say anything I haven’t heard from my therapist and Willa. I don’t always react well when they say it, either. It’s difficult for me to hear because it’s true. I know it’s true, but I hate that it is. I hate that I turned into a person who would allow herself to be treated like that.”
Toni moves close and takes my hands. “Hey, that’s not your fault. That’s all on Shae. I’ve watched friends in bad relationships before. They never start bad. It usually happens so gradually you’re too deep before you realize.”
“I didn’t really understand how different I was when I was with Shae until Willa told me last night that she was glad to have her sister back.” Toni smiles softly at me and squeezes my hands. I swallow the emotion in my throat. “I wish I could say I didn’t know what she meant, but I do. I feel more like myself than I have in a long, long time.”
“That’s great, Audrey.”
“Yeah, it is.” I can’t help it; my gaze goes to Toni’s lips, before finding her beautiful eyes again. “I like you, Toni. A lot. What you said yesterday, about giving me space and time, made me like you even more. Everything about how you handled yesterday made me…” Want to fuck you senseless, I think. “…realize that…”
God, how do I say this to her without revealing too much?
I exhale. “What I told you the night we were together is still true. I’m not ready for a serious relationship.”
“Sure, of course. Like I said yesterday?—”
“But I am ready to have fun now, take things slow, and see what happens.”
Toni’s mouth falls open a little. She dips her chin and looks at me skeptically. “Are you absolutely sure? Because I can wait. You’re worth it.”
Christ, could this woman be any more charming?
“I can’t,” I say, grasping her jacket and pulling her to me. The hunger I felt for her yesterday, and have been trying like hell to suppress for weeks, flares inside me again. I can’t pull her close enough, kiss her deep enough.
We have too many clothes on for me to feel the contours of her body like I want to. I unzip my jacket, then hers, and press our chests together, remembering how her hardened nipples felt against mine that night, her moans when I took her breast in my mouth.
“Oh my God,” Toni breathes into my mouth between kisses. She slides a leg between mine and pulls me close. “You kiss me, and all my resolve goes out the window.”
She pushes me against the bridge railing and kisses me. Snow plops into the river below; a tree branch creaks in the distance. I grind against Toni’s leg, the seam in the crotch of my jeans pressing against my clit. I groan.
My hands find her hair. “Oh my God I love your hair. And this sweater.” I slide a hand up her sweater and capture her naked breast in my hand. I pull back. “No bra?”
“A very happy coincidence.”
“I’ll say.” I run my thumb over her hardened nipple. How am I supposed to be strong for the next three days when the feel of Toni’s smooth skin and breast in my hand brings back so many wonderful memories? I am so turned on right now that the slightest touch of Toni’s would make me come. I’m half tempted to unzip my pants and direct her hand where I’m desperate for it to go, but I don’t. I can’t. “You are incredibly sexy and naughty and you absolutely bring that out in me.”
“Does that mean you’ll come to my room tonight?” Toni says, her voice husky with desire.
Oh my God I want this woman so much. “OK, when I say have fun now, I didn’t mean this weekend. In the same house as your parents and Greta.”
Toni’s lips are on my neck. “Don’t tell me you’ve never had sex with the threat you might be heard or get caught.”
“Maybe, but not by your sister or your parents.” I put my forehead against Toni’s. All I want to think about is her breast in my hand, her pebbled nipple against my palm. Her gasps. The crisp air that smells like pine and wood smoke. The sound of the creek trickling over stones beneath the bridge. A far-off woosh of snow falling from a tree. “This moment is perfect,” I say.