Page 119 of Breakaway

Before I can ask, he takes off his tuxedo jacket and drapes it over my shoulders. He glances down at my feet, then back at me. He arches an eyebrow. “Risking your toes for me, Red?”

I smile, relief flooding through me. If he’s okay enough to tease me, then that’s a good sign. “Cooper, I’m so sorry.”

His expression shutters. “I’m sorry I left you there.”

“It’s okay. I mean, I’m worried about you, and I’m sort of worried I am going to lose a toe, but it doesn’t matter. Because I love you.”

He pulls away, putting several feet of distance between us. I hate the loss of his touch; I hate it more than anything in the world.

“You don’t need to say it for me,” he says. His voice sounds hollow. “You don’t need to say it at all.”

I pull his jacket tighter around me. “I do. And this isn’t for you, it’s for us. It’s like you said.”

“I’m never anyone’s first choice, Pen. You don’t have to pretend I’m yours.” He scrubs his hand over his face, looking at the rink.

I’ve never seen him sound so defeated. It terrifies me. To think I had a hand in making him feel this way—I can’t bear it. “You are my first choice. That’s why I’m standing here right now.”

“Why did you want to get with me in the first place?” He laughs, and it’s an ugly sound, nothing like his usual melodic laughter. “You wanted experiences without strings. A safe option. You wanted something from me, and I delivered it, and maybe this is where it ends.”

“No.” My voice sounds thin. Scared. “No, goddamnit, you’re not listening to me. That’s not what this is.”

His eyes look flat. Nothing like the dynamic blue I’m used to. “Then tell me.”

I swallow, forcing myself to keep looking into his eyes. I’ve been giving him pieces of myself for months, and now—faced with possibly losing it all—I know that the journey it took to get here was worth it. Every ugly piece of my past was worth it because it meant meeting Cooper. “It’s like I’ve been falling all my life, and I finally landed somewhere safe. You’re safe, and I love you. That’s the truth.”

“Penny,” he says, his voice breaking.

“Please, Cooper. I’m choosing you first. Over everything. Choose me back.”

Finally, finally, he reaches out and pulls me into his arms. I sob, burying my face in his chest. His hand strokes down my back, and he murmurs, low and rough, “I’d choose you in every universe. I took my heart out of my chest and handed it over to you, raw and red, and it’s yours forever. You own it, and even if you try to give it back, if you abandon it, I won’t take it.”

“Will you take mine?”

He tilts my head up and kisses me. “Yes.”

“Forever?”

“Forever.”

I sob-laugh, wiping at my eyes. “Good. Because we need each other. And what cat parents would we be if we got divorced?”

He hugs me tighter. For a long moment, we just breathe each other in. Even though I’m still shivering, I feel warm inside and out.

“Don’t even say that word,” he murmurs. “When we get married, that’s it, Red. Tangy’s just going to have to deal with us being insufferable.”

Marriage. I like the sound of that. As far as I’m concerned, we belong to each other already, but one day, it would be nice to make it official. I don’t care what the future looks like, so long as I get to spend it with him.

He puts his chin on top of my head, sighing like he’s put upon. “You’re shaking. We’re not declaring our love for each other and then dying in a snowbank in the middle of Manhattan, come on.”

I glance over at the rink. “You know what would warm us up?”

The dude operating the ticket booth and skate rentals seems bemused to hand us each a pair of skates, plus a pair of ugly but necessary athletic socks for me. Cooper needs the cheering up, and I need just a bit more magic from this night.

We skate onto the rink holding hands. It’s awkward, holding up my skirt far enough I don’t run right over it, but Cooper keeps me steady. We’re not skating well—it’s laughable, for a figure skater and a hockey player—but that doesn’t matter. He keeps stopping, balancing us both so we can kiss. Eventually, we give up the pretense and just sway in place. Whenever I look up, I can’t decide whether to stare at him—my new forever—or the glittering handfuls of stars in the sky.

I think it’s the best skate I’ve ever had.

Chapter 66

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