Page 92 of Tulips and Lost Time

“Badassness is not a word.” She lifts her chin and looks out our partially obstructed window. “And I froze up when the girl came in. Hardly the bedrock of badassery.”

“Is badassery a real word?” I turn in my seat, just a little, and rest my elbow on the back. “You didn’t freeze. You took a second to process.”

“I’m an RN who chose the emergency room. Taking a second to process could kill someone.”

“She was six years old, had a busted face, two broken limbs, and was begging for her mom.” I reach across and grab her jaw, dragging her around until her eyes meet mine. “She had just fled a home invasion. You didn’t fuck up, Bear. You were being tested by a really cruel universe.”

“A test I failed.”

“Bullshit!” I make her jump with my bitten-out word and attract curious glances from the three huddled together a handful of booths away. Then I rein in my temper and repeat, “Bullshit. You took care of that girl the way she deserved. You were a guardian angel sent to her when she needed one most. Just like Mr. Turner was sent to you and Marcus. Stop downplaying something truly amazing.”

“I barked orders at a doctor.” Her cheeks flame bright red. “That was so bad!”

“That was entertaining as hell,” I laugh. “Eastgate is decent enough. He can move a little slow, considering his line of work, and you knew what needed to be done. Perhaps if Cleo had landed a different nurse, she’d have been ten minutes slower. Twenty. Waiting for a doctor to order tests and a scan.” I drag my bottom lip between my teeth and grin. “Your one second delay wasn’t a bad thing, Bear. It was you loading badassery.”

“You’ll say anything to make me feel better.” She glances across as Dolly steams milk, the hiss playing out through the tiled room and the large woman’s bodacious backside bouncing as she dances to a song only she can hear. “I could have amputated her leg, and you’d say it’s cool, since clearly prosthetics can be customized to pink these days.”

“I mean… Yeah. Maybe. But she could totally get Barbie or My Little Pony branding on the side. A six-year-old would heal fast and learn to walk on their prosthetic within weeks. It’s totally fine.”

She rolls her eyes, finally playful, which is a hell of a lot better than hateful. “Your assessment of my abilities is not unbiased or trustworthy.”

“So ask someone else to assess you. You could blow shaving cream up a patient’s ass, and I’d still think you’re the best.” I lean in a little closer. Too close for strangers, and yet, not nearly close enough to assuage the want in the pit of my stomach. “What do you think of your first day on the job?” I grab a long lock of curly brown hair and bring it up to study the ends. “What’s your self-assessment? And don’t tell me you screwed up with the girl.”

“I think…” She snatches her hair back and draws a deep breath. “I think I’m glad I spent my entire college career huddled up in my room, reading textbooks instead of partying like everyone else. I was able to draw on what I’d learned tonight, and I was able to do it reasonably quickly. That made me confident, when, in other emergency situations, I might’ve panicked.”

“You’re our newest nurse in town, huh?” Dolly plops two steaming mugs on the table and pushes one across to sit in front of Kari. “Luca’s been talking about you for years. How you’re top of your class and gonna shake things up once you got back from college.”

Stunned, Kari looks at me. Her eyes wide and her lips dangerously thin.

Then of course, I look at Dolly and firm my lips. “A little discretion, please. What is said between the hours of midnight and one should remain confidential, no?”

“Of course.” She winks and wrinkles her nose and brings her focus back to Kari. “Forget I said anything. Your man has definitely not been out here in the middle of the night before, waxing poetic about your pretty face and brilliant brain.”

“He’s not my man,” she breathes, pale and flustered. “He’s just… he’s a family friend.”

“Yeah, kinda like how I wanna be a family friend to that delicious specimen over there.” She hooks a thumb toward the criminal trio, smirking when one of them glances up. Black eyes. Tattoos covering every inch of exposed skin except for the bits on his face. Then she focuses back on us and raises her hands to create finger quotes. “’Family friends’. The kind that share a bed.” She drops her hands. “I’d like to point out that your family friend is completely and ridiculously besotted with you, Miss Cutie Face. I ain’t never had a man look at me the way yours looks at you.”

“I’d like to drink my cocoa in the quiet.” Kari’s humiliated. Humiliated! Because Dolly doesn’t mind a scene at all. And the other guests inside this diner hang on every word the woman speaks. “Please,” she pleads.

“Oh sure.” Dolly huffs and does that thing women do, bouncing her head. “No one ever wants to talk to Dolly, except when they’re lonely. And even then, they only wanna talk about the woman they’re in love with. I never get to be the talked about. Just the talked to.” She presses a hand to her chest. “Why is life so cruel?”

“I can’t…” Kari drops her face into her hands and shakes. “I can’t handle this.”

I laugh in the back of my throat, bouncing until the movement vibrates against our chair. But I look at Dolly and find a little mercy for Kari before she combusts. “Can we get a stack of pancakes please? Just one really big stack, and two sets of silverware.”

“Family friends.” She blows out a harrumph of displeasure and spins on her heels. “My ass.”

“You brought me here to torment me.” Kari peeks out from behind her hands, her cheeks blazing a bright red. “Here, Bear. I’m soooooo sorry about upsetting you all these years. Let me take you somewhere you’ll hate.”

“In my defense,” I grab her wrists and carefully drag her hands from her face. “Dolly has always been nice to me. And I think she’s showing off for those other guys. Guess she’s got a thing for dangerous red flags.”

“Those were my red flags!” Kane preens at my kitchen table, beaming because he was seen. In my memories, in a whole other lifetime, there he was. “By the time I snagged Jessie, I was so sure you’d forgotten you ever saw me.”

I shrug and look down at a sleeping Billy. “My entire life has been spent in my memories. While Kari was away at college, I was with her in my mind. And now that she’s…” I swallow when a heavy ball of grief lodges in my throat and cuts off my air. But I cough the intrusion away and bring my gaze up. “My memories are a good place to be when the rest of the world sucks. So I guess it makes sense to me that I’m pretty good at recalling them.”

“And your memories of that night have nothing to do with Kari finally getting on your bike,” he counters with a smug grin. “You saw me there. The criminal trio,” he chuckles. “Cap would take offence to that label.”

“Cap and I are okay. And you’ll handle your brother.” I bring my hand up and stroke the bridge of Billy’s nose. “Getting Kari on my bike was a fucking miracle. But having her back in town and talking to me were miracles, too. Seems I was on a roll.”

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