Page 65 of Tulips and Lost Time

“Well…” He gives my situation more thought, rolling his bottom lip. “I don’t know if there’s a right or a wrong answer here. You’re not together, so neither of you are betraying the other by dating other people.”

“But in the spirit of honesty and integrity? Would you tell?”

“Would telling her help her? Or would it help you? Her hurt feelings, in exchange for you offloading your guilt?”

“You make it sound like being honest, in this case, would be the wrong choice.”

He scoffs, low and subtle. “I don’t have any fucking clue what the wrong choice is. Clearly, I’m not the guy to ask. I got married when I was eighteen. And she left me before the ink was dry. I’ve been a fucking eunuch since, and I’m the frontman of a band. Pretty sure that makes me pathetic.”

“Makes you loyal.” I bring my hand up and clap his shoulder. “Makes you a good man, and her, not who we thought she was back in high school. The Sammy we thought we knew wouldn’t have done what she did.”

“I’m still loyal to the Sammy we thought we knew.” He shrugs my hand off, but he looks my way and meets my eyes. “I try every day to convince myself she doesn’t exist. That she was a liar. But hearts can be nasty, finicky fucking things. Which…” he turns to survey the yard, “it seems, you know about. Considering your current predicament.”

He stands, but luckily for me, he’s a discreet man. Softly spoken. So he turns his back on our friends and murmurs, “Do whatever you think is best for you and the other person. You have to be able to live with your choices. But you should also be mindful of what the truth will do to the woman who is currently squeezing your heart. You didn’t technically do anything wrong, since you and her are not together. So just… I dunno, man. It’s on you to decide your next move. I’m around if you ever want to talk about it. Or, ya know, if you get married and she leaves you anyway. I can relate to that.”

“Sammy’s back now though.” Kane drops into his chair, setting his coffee down and frowning as he studies my eyes. “I know she is. I fucking own this town, so I know Sam Turner and Sam Turner remain married now. They even have a kid.”

“They sure do. And he deserves every single second of happiness he has with his girls. Took her thirteen years to come back. Thirteen,” I repeat, shaking my head when I think of Kari. I’ve been without her for approximately fifteen hours, and already, it feels like my skin is on fire. “Sammy eventually came home. And in all those thirteen years, he didn’t touch another woman.”

I mean. He kissed one, one time. Literally the same night Sammy came back to him.

The universe’s timing was cruel, as is often the case.

“So Kari had come back for the first time in, what?” Kane mentally tracks back through my stories. “Like, three years? And you’d just spent the night with Britt.”

A long, pained groan works along my throat. “Nice reminder, jackass.”

“Jackass?” He laughs. “Dude! Tell the fucking story. Did you tell her, or did you keep the Britt thing to yourself? Did you choose her feelings, or your guilt?”

18

LUC

SINCE WHEN IS TELLING THE TRUTH THE SELFISH THING?

“Luc?” Kari steps up behind me later that night, when bodies ache from skating, and throats tickle from a day of laughter. Today was the first in years that everyone has been back together. And not for a single second was anyone going to pass up the opportunity to bathe in the familiar.

It could be years before we get this again.

Or maybe never, depending on the things I tell Kari tonight.

Her sweet scent filters into my lungs, though I don’t mean to inhale quite so deep. Her soft, curly hair tickles my arm, since the Turners have good heating, which means I don’t have to wear a jacket inside. Her soft voice, though, that’s what undoes me as I turn from the television, a show I have no clue of the details, however anyone watching me from the outside would swear I was an avid fan.

I swallow and meet Kari’s eyes, her perfect green stare like aloe on a sunburn, and her hand, when it presses to my shoulder, like popping candy on a man’s tongue.

“I’ve caught up with everyone, I think.” Her nose twitches, oh so subtly. “Everyone except you. I was wondering if you’d like to go for a walk with me?”

“A walk?” I shoot a glance across the room. To Jess and Laine. To Marc. Scotch. Ang. Even Alex, and at the kitchen counter, Oz. Everyone is here, but no one pays a great deal of attention to anyone else.

Bringing my focus back to Kari, I repeat, as though her words don’t quite make sense, “You want to go for a walk? With me?”

Her lips curl, sweet and kind and just big enough to make my stomach jump. “If you would like to. It’s been a while since we’ve been in the same place. So I just…” The longer she talks, the less confident she becomes with her words. “I just thought?—”

“Yeah.” I bound up from the couch, too fast to be subtle. Too noisy not to draw eyes. But I’m Luc, and she’s Kari. This group of people have co-mingled since the dawn of time. “Sure. I’ll come for a walk.” I stride toward the door before she has a chance to change her mind. And swinging my coat on, I grab hers and head out until she’s forced to follow. “Here.” I wait for her on the porch, as she steps through the door and into the dark outside. Then I move in behind her and offer her coat.

She smells like home.

Like flowery shampoo.

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