Page 53 of Tulips and Lost Time

“And you?”

“Sat on the Turners’ front porch in their swing chair and watched.”

“Like a pussy,” he coughs out. “Total fucking pussy.”

“She saw me there,” I sigh. I remember sitting forward in the chair, my elbows on my knees and my chin in my hands. My heart pounded until it felt like I might die. And my brain swung violently from side to side. Let her go and live a life of freedom. Or keep her for myself and trick her into thinking I was the best steak on offer. “Our eyes met a couple times,” I murmur. “But she was furious by that point. Even if I wanted to change my mind and beg her to stay, she was way beyond the point of discussing it.”

Slowly, I bring my eyes up and stop on Kane’s. “I don’t know what you think you know about her, Bish. But Kari is the sweet and quiet kind, until she’s not. Then she’s gonna set shit on fire and watch the world burn.”

His lips quiver with the shadow of a smile. “My kind of girl. I always liked her.”

“Yeah, well…” I shrug. “She was at the setting things on fire phase in her life. And I was the idiot who refused to step out of the flames.”

14

LUC

THANKSGIVING

“So she’s just…” I follow Marcus across his yard, my boots hitting the rocks and dirt below as he makes his way to the barn. “It’s Thanksgiving, Marc! She’s not coming home?”

“Nope.” He yanks the barn open with a grunt and shuffle, moving out of the way before the solid wood slams into his leg and breaks it clean in half. “I’m not happy about it, but she’s not coming. She says she wants to stay on campus and catch up on her course work and stuff.”

“And you’re just letting her?” My words come out in a boom of anger, but when Marc glances over his shoulder, curiosity burning in his eyes, I swallow the rage down and calm myself before I make the mess I’ve worked so hard for months to avoid. “I just meant…” I draw a long breath and fill my lungs until bursting. Then I release it again and find my calm. “She doesn’t come back for weekends, even though she said she would. Now she’s skipping Thanksgiving. And you’re okay with that?”

“I thought you said I should stop smothering her so much?” He wanders into the barn and flips a switch that has massive overhead lights flickering to life. “You’ve spent the last ten years boasting about how cool you are with the twins, and how I could take a leaf out of that book. Now I’m finally letting Kari have a little slack on the leash and you’re calling me out on it?”

“You’re suddenly listening to my advice? Since when? And why now?”

He chuckles, heading to the north-facing wall and releases a shelf that holds tools all nestled comfortably in slots, so his workshop is entirely organized. “She calls me damn near every day, Luc. And she told me she probably wouldn’t make Thanksgiving. I’m not happy about it. But there’s not really a lot I can do about it. She’s a grownup now, and I have to trust her to make the right decisions for her.”

“Jesus christ.” I bring my hand up and scrub at my face before I scream. After all these years of him being her prison warden, I expected to be able to rely on that same watchfulness while she was away. I intended to monitor her through him, since she’s too fucking busy and stubborn to communicate with me herself.

But no… because Marc has had a sudden fucking stroke that has led him to relax where she’s concerned.

“You seem overly concerned about this.” He takes down a hand-held lathe and turns to face me. He could split my skull in a single second if he knew the things circling my mind. “You’ve spent all these years telling me to cool it. Now you’re acting like I’ve tossed her to the wolves and smothered her in barbecue sauce. She’s fine.” He pushes away from the shelf and heads toward his current project. “She calls me all the time to tell me how things are.”

“Well…” I turn and follow him to the half-complete headboard he’s making for someone who can afford to spend money on handmade stuff. “How is she doing? Is she enjoying college?”

“Yeah.” He shrugs. “She’s going to class and trudging through all the book work. Said she’s excited for when she gets to do more of the practical stuff. Which is…” He runs his tool across the crown of the bed. “I dunno. Probably next year or the year after, I guess.”

“Is she doing okay in the dorms?”

“Seems to be. She got paired up with some other chick for this year. Though I know the other three are already scoping out apartments for next year. Britt, Jess, and Laine are pretty noisy about their plans for after high school.” He pauses his work and glances over his shoulder at me. “You know you could text Kari, right? Ask her yourself. I know I’ve always been pretty tense about guys and my sister. But you’re not just a guy, Luc. You’re my best friend. I wouldn’t be mad if you texted her on the side.”

Fuck. Me.

“I trust you,” he continues. “And I bet she’d be happy to hear from you. She said she talks to the girls a lot. And Scotch and X.”

“She said that?”

“That she talks to the others?”

“No. That she’d…” I drop my hands into my pockets and study my feet. “That she’d like to hear from me?”

“I mean… she didn’t say you couldn’t message her. So…” Clueless to the torment slinging around my brain, he goes back to work, sliding the heavy steel tool along the top of his project, his arms firing with muscles that come specifically after countless hours doing the same damn thing, day after day. “She’s had you in her life since forever. I bet she’s feeling out of sorts with all the changing this year.”

I inhale until my lungs ache. Then exhale again until there’s nothing left. “I suppose I could drop a text or something sometime. I didn’t wanna step on toes or anything.”

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