Page 116 of Tulips and Lost Time

“The twink needed her sister,” he grumbles. “And I wasn’t going anywhere without Jess. So…”

“And then Ang made his move. Now both of my sisters are hitched and safe. Babies are dropping all across town—Chance, the twins, Laine’s baby, Jay and Soph’s. Spence and Abby, Cap and Katrina. Everyone has made babies in the last ten years, while Kari and I were a little slower off the mark.”

“Probably lingering trauma,” Kane snickers. “Kiss the girl, and Marcus belts you black and blue. Make a baby with her…”

“And we’re hit by a fucking drunk.” I come to a stop in the middle of the kitchen, turning with fresh grief pulsing in my heart. We were joking. Having fun. Reminiscing. And now reality has come crashing down over my head once more. Just another fucking reminder that me and Kari… we have to work for us. All those years of lost time. Then all the years of hiding. Then losing Marc. And now, losing everything.

The universe refuses to give us a clear run. And that… that’s not fair.

“I hurt Graham,” I admit on an almost whisper, “for what he did to my sister. And I’ll hurt that drunk for what he did to my family. Later, when I have time to think and to plan it out. I’m gonna take care of business.”

Kane balls his fist and extends it in offer. “Welcome aboard, son. Uncle Kane will be glad to walk alongside you when you’re getting shit done.”

I look down at his fist, hovering in the air between us, and think of a man who came before the prick in the pickup truck. I think of the life I’ve lived and the pain I’m forced to feel because of someone else’s poor choices. Billy shouldn’t be here without her mom and brother, and I sure as fuck shouldn’t have had to leave the hospital without the other half of my family.

Resolute, I swallow and tap his fist with mine. “When I have time.”

He sets his hands on his hips and chuckles. “Some things are worth making time for. But I’ll be patient. So you were openly banging your girl after that other baby was born? Public exhibitionism and shit?”

“Dude!” Marcus shoulder checks Kane and passes through to me. “No.”

Fuck me. But Marc is a brave man for hitting a Bishop and giving him his back. But that’s who he is, I suppose. Way too fucking reactive when it comes to his baby sister. I tilt to the right and stop on Kane’s eyes, damn near midnight black with revenge. “Down, boy. You just heard how I nearly died because of his reactivity as far as Kari was concerned.”

“He’s lucky he’s holding a baby.” He backs up to lean against the doorframe, smirking and folding his arms as Jess wanders through with one of the girls. “Men have died for less.” He looks at me. “So you and Kari are together. It’s open. Big brother Marcus is accepting… grudgingly, but it’s happening. Now he has a new baby to obsess over.”

“Timing was serendipitous,” I chuckle. “He was focused on Meg and Chance, and so Kari and I had a free run for the next little while. From that point on, we could be completely and totally open about who we were. Seems dumb,” I clarify. “But walking into the diner and sitting together, holding hands, even kissing… all in public. It was a new experience for us.”

“No, it’s not dumb.” Kane’s eyes follow Jess as she stops by the fridge and helps herself. His lips curl into a small, secretive smile. “We had to hide at first, too. So I get it. Having that freedom to be open with the world about who we are…” he shrugs and brings his eyes back to me. “It feels good.”

38

LUC

NOT SNEAKING AROUND

At some point over the last couple of years, after Jess moved out to live with Kane, Laine moved out to live with Ang, and when Britt shacked up across town with the world champ, Kari’s apartment was essentially left mostly empty.

The rent was still paid, and the sparse furniture remained behind.

The place was, technically, somewhere any of the girls could go to get a little alone time when they needed it, but as the years passed on and memories fill the rooms they left behind, everyone just… stopped going there.

It simply stopped being somewhere anyone went to find comfort.

Now Kari’s things are in my apartment. Her clothes are in my closet. Her shoes, littering my floor. Her dream catcher, the one she hangs above her bed, now hangs above our bed. And if I’m being completely and totally honest, I’m not sure I could even pinpoint when exactly we started living together.

It was never a discussion we had. We never sat down and decided where we would live or who would pay which bill. No one wrote out a chore chart, assigning dishes to one person and the laundry to the other.

We just stopped sleeping apart. And now here we are, her tampons are under the sink, and her hair litters the shower floor.

And there’s not a single fucking thing I would do to change it.

“Let’s go, Bear!” I button my shirt and stare into the mirror, a grin on my face and trembling giddiness bubbling in the depths of my stomach. “Swear to Christ, if you make us late again, I’m gonna be pissed.”

“I’m doing my best.” She slides along the hall and collides with the clothes rack at the end, sending hangers flying, and grunting as the metal pokes her arm. This apartment is tiny. Smaller, even, than the one she left. Which means our closet just isn’t big enough for us both. “Ouch.” Hissing, she rubs her arm and scowls under the mess that is her wild, brown curls. “Have I told you lately how much I hate that thing being there?”

I shrug and watch her in the reflection of the mirror. “There’s not enough room to put it elsewhere. Let’s go. We have reservations for seven. And it’s currently…” I glance across at the clock on the over-filled bedside table. We’re not messy, dirty people. We’re just two busy human beings, cramming two lives inside an apartment the size of a shoe box. “Six fifty-nine. Dammit, Bear!”

“Don’t come at me.” She tears a dress off the rack, pinging yet another hanger to the floor. Then, stepping into the fabric, she yanks it up and tucks herself away from my hungry eyes. “You didn’t get out of the shower until five minutes ago. The fact that I can shower after that and still be mostly dressed by now is a miracle. You don’t get that kind of hustle with Jess and Laine.”

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