Page 106 of Tulips and Lost Time

“I’m gonna puke.” I throw our covers off when footsteps echo along the hall and the front door swings open and closed. Then I turn and stare down at a humored Kari. “She heard me fucking you!”

“She heard me being fucked. There’s a slight difference.”

“She wants you to describe my string bean!”

She cackles, curling in on herself and holding her belly. She was the one who was afraid last night. Today, she’s back to being a pain in my ass. “Your sister wants me to draw your dick on a napkin and compare it to a string bean. Which, by the way, isn’t a fruit.”

“She’s gonna see my bike outside!” My stomach lurches as I bound out of bed and stride across to the window. The sun is already up. Already glaring through the curtains. But Jess wanders into the street, walking the block or two to Main Street instead of sliding into her beat-up car. Which just so happens to be parked in front of my bike. “Fuck, Bear!” I drop the curtains again and turn. “My sister is a deviant. And you’re out here making a game of comparing dicks.”

“In my defense,” she sniggers, “I haven’t been able to contribute to the game except way back when we were calling Blake ‘Ten’.”

My eyes narrow to dangerous slits.

“I didn’t see it! Swear. He’s tall, so we just assumed. I didn’t want to look like a total loser, so I called it a papaya, and your sisters ran with it. It’s their fault.”

“My entire life is filled with filth.” I stalk back to the bed. To the beautiful, decadent, buck-ass-naked woman who does nothing to cover herself up. Then I crawl onto the mattress and place one hand on the side of her knee. I push it to the side and open her legs, instantly making her laughter stop and her breath hitch. “Sneaking around with you is stressful.” I crawl into the gap between and take her pebbled nipple between my lips. “I’m gonna die of a heart attack long before I die for banging you in private.”

“Maybe you should not bang me then.” She squirms beneath my touch, wriggling when my cock brushes against her pussy. “Maybe we should quit and forget this ever happened?”

“Maybe you should stop talking crazy and instead tell me you love me again.” I reach between her legs and glide the tips of my fingers through her soaked slit. Already, she’s ready for me. She’s responsive. Needy. Perfect. “Let’s fuck again,” I groan. “We have lots of time to make up for. Then we gotta act normal when other people are around.”

She snorts, but that turns to a groan when I slide in and stop only when my cock is sheathed to the base.

“Shit,” she whimpers. “Dammit, String Bean. You gotta go easy on me. I’m still new.”

33

LUC

WE’RE HEADING TO THE FARMER’S MARKET

“Alright.” Kane stomps up the stairs, following me and Billy into the nursery. “Fine. You won’t tell me the stuff. But what happened after that?”

“After?”

“Yeah, like,” he flicks his hand in my direction, “you clearly hook up at some point, considering that cute little booger you’re carting around like a new handbag. There had to have been a first time. And since you were sneaking, there was clearly a first morning after. A first nearly got caught. I want those details.”

“Your wife was largely involved in all that.” I lay Billy on the changing table. Already, I smell the stench of a massive, milky load dropped in her diaper. So I unzip her onesie and work on tugging her tiny legs out. “She tried to threaten me. Though, she didn’t know I was the one hiding in Bear’s bedroom.”

“Oh my gosh.” Jess wanders up the stairs and stops in the doorway beside Kane. Changing a shitty diaper is an entire family adventure, I suppose. “You were in her room, and I didn’t know it?”

“A million times. But that particular time, you mentioned judo, ass-kicking, the Supreme Court, and string beans.” I place Billy’s leg on the plastic mat and reach into her romper for the other. “Then you went off to buy coffee and breakfast.”

“I remember this!” She claps a hand to her mouth and gasps. “You!?”

“You don’t have to leave,” Kari giggles, climbing out of the shower and grabbing my hand as she rushes back into the hall. She drips on the floor and snatches out a pair of men’s jeans from the basket as we pass. Charging into her room, she yanks me in and slams the door, then she tosses the jeans at my chest and drops her towel. “You can be here when she gets back. You’ve been in this apartment a million times during weird, annoying hours. She’ll assume you’ve come to see her.”

“And these men’s jeans?” I pull them away from my chest and sneer. “There a reason you’re dressing me in another man’s clothes?”

She rolls her eyes and snags a fresh pair of panties from her closet. “They’re Marc’s jeans, goober. Relax. You’re practically the same size, and you have to get changed, because sitting at our table in your uniform eight hours after end of shift will look sus. But if you look fresh, and you act normal, she’ll assume you arrived while she was out for coffee.”

“But I…” I lose my train of thought and tilt my head to the side when her tits are just… they’re there. “I…”

She looks down at her mostly naked body, then glances up again and snarls. “Grow up, String Bean. Get changed. Leave your uniform in my room and I’ll get it washed and back to you. In the meantime, you can still hang out, you’ll see Jess, and no one has any clue what the hell you did to me last night.”

“What I did to you?” I push my cargo pants back down and hobble on one foot to get them off. Then I step into my best friend’s pants and hope to god no one ever finds out about it. “Excuse me, Ms. Please Fuck Me.”

She lobs her towel across the room, so it smacks my face and hangs off my head until I grab it.

---