Page 86 of The Pucking Wrong Man

Linc: That’s like a mile away. How the fuck did you end up there?

Ari: ...

Linc: ...

Linc: Did you at least get Fluffy?

Ari: If you’re asking me whether Fluffy is currently eyeing me like he’s going to eat me. Then yes, I did get Fluffy.

Ari: Camden James, if you’re reading this. You are responsible for my death. I hope you’re happy.

Ari: Also...tell Geraldine I said goodbye.

Linc: How about Blake?

Ari: Have a woman deliver the news to her.

Linc: ?

Ari: I’ve heard that sometimes widows fall in love with the first man who comforts them. You’ll be responsible for instituting a large perimeter around her so that doesn’t happen.

Linc: For how long?

Ari: Indefinitely, obviously! You think I’m going to allow Blake to move on? I’ll just come back as a ghost and keep her company.

Linc: ...

Ari: Are you almost here? Fuck, Golden Boy, Fifi just nibbled on my big toe.

Linc: Fluffy. His name is Fluffy. But also...why the fuck is your big toe out?

Ari: It’s a long story.

Linc: ...

Linc: I’m almost there.

Holy fuck. I hadn’t laughed this hard in a very long time. I glanced at the hallway, making sure that Anastasia hadn’t come out yet. She still hadn’t appeared, so I turned back to my phone.

There was another string of messages at around three in the morning.

Ari: Hero, wherever the fuck you are, the dogs have been delivered. The package has been secured, so to speak...oh, and we rescued Logan.

Logan: Keep your fucking mouth closed, Lancaster.

Walker: It’s three o’clock in the morning. Why are we texting?

Logan: Don’t do it.

Linc: You mean don’t tell them how we found you?

Logan: ...

Hmm. Rookie was getting pretty good at the “...” I needed to step up my game.

Walker: I’m listening.

Ari: Of course, you’re listening. Lincoln is talking. What else would you be doing?

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