Page 55 of A Little More Hope

“Condoms. Lube,” Ash demanded desperately.

“Shit,” I moaned, “I don’t have any. I hadn’t expected to be having sex.”

“My toiletry kit,” he panted. “In my bathroom.”

Disentangling us, I raced over to his bathroom in seconds. Rummaging through his kit, I found what I wanted and pulled out the condom and a small sachet of lube.

Returning to the room, I ripped open the foil and hurriedly rolled the latex down my length. It didn’t go all the way but covered enough to do the job.

“Here.” Ash held out his hand. “Pour some of the lube on my fingers.” Climbing on the bed, I gave him a questioning look but did as he requested—opened the sachet and poured some over the fingers on his outstretched hand, coating them.

Ash rubbed the lube around a bit, then bent his legs at the knees. I nearly swallowed my tongue when he displayed himself to me. I didn’t have time to stare as his fingers were there and after circling his hole a couple of times, he pushed his index finger all the way in.

“Fuck, Ash,” I rasped, needing to get closer. Leaning down, my eyes remained glued to his hole as he methodically worked his finger in and out a few more times before pulling out completely. The ring of muscle stayed open a fraction of a second before shutting fast. The sight, the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.

“Help me,” he ground out. My eyes reluctantly moved from his ass to his face, needing one final confirmation. He rapidly bobbed his head. Moving my hand alongside his, he took my finger in his palm, and after greasing me up, inserted his index finger into himself once more. “Now you.” Waiting until he pulled his finger to the rim, I followed when he pushed back in. His ass clamped down on me like a vise, sucking me in. And the heat, fuck, he burned as hot as a furnace, his fire scorching me as I delved inside.

He shuddered his pleasure. “So good,” he groaned as we worked in tandem. Out, in, out, in. “Another,” he ordered. I added one more finger, working them alongside his. The sight so very erotic as we both pleasured him at the same time, loving his freedom and openness to seek out what he needed and not be embarrassed to take it.

I instinctively twisted my fingers, pulling them apart, adding more friction, and his answering moan sounded deeply satisfying. I’d have been more than happy to continue doing this all day, with only my fingers penetrating him and nothing else. I had never felt so connected to another person in my entire life. As I drew back, my fingertips hit a spongy area, and I got an instant reaction, his body shuddering as he shouted, “Yes, right there, oh fuck, oh fuck.” Keeping my fingers on the sensitive spot, I rubbed over and over as he writhed in pleasure, moaning incoherent words as sensation took over, and his body reacted.

Jesus, I instantly revised my earlier thought about only fingering him all day, as now watching him come apart so beautifully, I desperately needed to get my dick where my fingers were and was unable to wait any longer. Removing them, he copied me, recognizing we both needed to move to the next stage.

Shuffling in closer, I drizzled the remaining lube over the condom and lined my cock up to his ass, the molten heat from his body enough to burn through the latex right to my skin.

Looking down to where I sat notched against his hole, time slowed as what I intended to do imprinted itself on my mind with total clarity. I was about to cross a line I could never come back from, choosing to accept a part of myself I never realized existed, had never expected to discover. Gaze traveling along Ash’s body, I memorized every single inch, committing him and this moment to memory—the lithe sinewy muscles of his torso, broad chest, and wide shoulders; the biceps on his arms bulging as he held his legs behind the knees, spreading himself open for me.

But in the end, his face consolidated the image into crystal-clear focus. I looked at the face of a man, not a woman. With his strong jawline covered in light stubble, he was unmistakably male. There’d be no escaping who I was in bed with, and like finding the final piece of a puzzle I’d searched for my whole life, my world clicked into place.

Ash was what I’d been missing. He was who I’d been waiting for.

Gripping him behind the knees and moving forward, I applied pressure and spread him wide open. Using my weight as leverage, I pushed at the ring of muscle with the head of my dick, though I struggled to breach his hole. Even with all the prepping we’d done, his body resisted. “Please,” he begged, “please.” Applying more pressure, I didn’t think it was working, and I worried about hurting him when his sphincter muscles finally relaxed, allowing me to sink into the heated depths of his ass. His inner muscles clamped down tightly around me, sending electric shocks along my shaft and into my balls. My gaze remained glued to my cock sliding out of his body, only to disappear deeper in the next time.

I kept my movements slow, mindful of my size, but it took every ounce of restraint I had. Like last time, when I’d wanted to ram my cock down his throat, it ached to move, to pound.

“God, you’re big,” he moaned as, after a few tries, I’d buried myself in as far in as I could go, my balls resting heavily against the smooth cheeks of his ass. Stilling my motion, I let us both adjust—Ash to my size and me to the sensations bombarding my brain at being surrounded in his overwhelmingly firm grip.

“You need to move,” he rasped, his hands scrunching hold of the sheets, fisting them between his long fingers.

Pulling out until only the tip of my cock remained in his channel, his hole pulsing, not wanting to give me up, I held there for a couple of seconds. Our eyes locked, and I pushed back inside, snapping my hips at the last moment to drive in deep.

“Ngghh,” Ash wailed as my rhythm ignited, instincts taking over as I pumped my hips, thrusting hard, his velvet smooth walls sucking me in deeper and deeper with each glide.

In the past, my partners had struggled to take all of me, and I’d had to moderate my lovemaking to account for their pleasure, never having the chance to fully let go. But with Ash, there was no struggle, no awkwardness, just freedom and absolute pleasure to be me.

My pace increased until there was only us, me drilling into him, and him taking every single inch, pulling me in, urging me on.

Sensations battered my body, powerful, all-consuming, crackling along my nerve endings, obliterating all I’d learned about how two people could be together, sending my pulse rate through the roof, and stopping the air in my lungs. Though fully connected to him, as close as we’d ever be, it wasn’t enough. I yearned to imprint my essence beneath his skin and on his heart, take up residence in his soul and never leave.

“Ash,” I sobbed as emotions I’d never expected to feel broke free, crashing through me in wave after wave. But something bigger, deeper, and far more powerful threatened to engulf me. Explosions of lust and need and burning possession—mine, mine, mine.

Looking down at Ash, his eyes never leaving mine, every one of his emotions were displayed for me to see. The same lust, the same need, the same hunger to be together, and so much more. Trust and love blazed so clearly in his beautiful green eyes I could barely stand to look.

He’d had so few people in his life he allowed to get close, to not hurt him, and to think I was one of them, someone he absolutely trusted, however unworthy I was of that trust, sent a rush of protectiveness surging through me.

And his love, so pure and honest, and so freely offered nearly brought me to my knees.

Trust and love, the two emotions I struggled so hard with after all that had happened to me.

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