Page 47 of A Little More Hope

After getting up from the chair, he walked around the bed, removed his flip-flops and pulled the covers down, then carefully climbed into bed alongside me. With extreme tenderness, he enfolded me in his arms and molded his body along my side, his chin on the top of my head.

I relaxed against him, releasing a contented sigh. He made me feel so warm and fuzzy, and I loved that more than I probably should. When he held me, my past melted away, leaving only the present, only him.

“I’m not going to hide us, Ash. I may not be sure what’s going to happen, or how I’m going to deal with this, with us, but I won’t deny what’s going on.” He stilled and his hold on me tensed. “Unless you want me to?”

Chapter Fifteen

Mason

My heart hammered like crazy in my chest. What if I’d gotten it all wrong and Ash wanted to keep our situation casual, to only fuck?

Ash snuggled in closer, his body hot from being tucked beneath the covers all day. “Haven’t we already settled this?” he asked me. “What did you think I meant when I said I wanted everything? Just sex?”

“I guess, I—” I struggled to find the words, ending lamely on “Maybe, yeah.”

Tipping his head back, looking up at me, I got lost in the lush green depths of his eyes. How I’d never found men attractive in the past would forever puzzle me. Something about a squarer, more masculine jawline, the hint of stubble, the rougher skin, and the leanly muscled body of the male form, flicked every one of my switches apparently. But then again, perhaps it was Ash and Ash alone that made me feel this way?

Does it matter?

Staring into the handsome face I adored looking at all day, I realized it didn’t.

“So, what are you saying exactly?” he asked. “You only want to fool around? Because if so, I’m more than okay with that.” He gave a cheeky grin before adding, “Why don’t we take things day by day and see what happens?”

His words echoed Gabe’s. Perhaps I should listen to them rather than keep questioning myself. Ash acted like he wanted to be here in this with me, so why deny him, us, what we wanted? His age held a slight worry for me. The eight-year gap between us wasn’t a huge number of years, but enough for our interests and tastes to be vastly different.

I studied his face, looking for any signs he didn’t mean what he’d said, but found nothing. Instead, he appeared happy to be with me, so perhaps instead of endlessly overanalyzing the minutiae, I should relax and go with the flow. I mean, it’s not like whatever happened between us would continue forever anyway.

He lives here. I don’t.

Gabe’s words about discovering more about me rang a bell deep in my mind. Why don’t I do just that, and take the time I had left to heal, and find out more about who I am along the way?

I dropped a kiss on Ash’s forehead. “One step at a time,” I agreed.

He chuckled. “Perhaps we should repeat a couple of the steps we’ve already taken.” I raised a questioning eyebrow. “To make sure you’re completely comfortable with them before we move on to the next one.”

“Uh-huh.”

He nodded enthusiastically, warming up to his subject. “It could be like when you were in college. There’s bound to have been a How to be Gay 101 class, right?”

“That’s not a course I can recall from my time there.”

His grin turned evil. “College was a long time ago for you.” He patted my cheek. “I’m sure things have changed a lot since your day.”

“My day?” I spluttered.

He laughed, but his joy rapidly turned into another wince. “Ow, ow,” he groaned, hands cradling his ribs. “Stop making me laugh.”

Lowering my head, I captured his mouth, covering his as I eased him down onto the pillows. Mindful of his swollen jaw, I teased his lips, kissing him gently. He opened his mouth, and when I dipped my tongue inside, licking over his, tasting, teasing, he released a deep needy moan that traveled straight to my balls.

Utterly lost to the feel of him, with his firm lips, and day-old stubble, I never saw myself kissing anyone else ever again, the taste of him so very addictive. I don’t know how long we made out, but eventually I needed to come up for air so reluctantly broke the connection.

“Oh yes,” Ash murmured, “you’re so going straight to the top of the class.”

“Hmm,” I replied, “I’m not so sure. Maybe I do need a lot more practice after all.” My lips were back on his, exploring, and I ran my tongue over the full lower lip followed by the top. He groaned, trying to inch closer, but I held him immobile, not wanting him to hurt himself further.

“I…I…” He panted. “I think you’re doing fine.”

Reluctantly, I released him and subtly tried to adjust my erection, the one currently pressed uncomfortably behind the zipper of the jeans I’d thrown on when the doctor arrived to examine him. “You need to rest.” The pout he sent me made me grin. “Come on.” I unwound my arms from around him and got off the bed. “Lean forward a little and let me rearrange your pillows so you’re more comfortable.” He gingerly did so and after I plumped the pillows, he carefully settled himself back against them.

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