Page 40 of A Little More Hope

His eyes bugged in his sockets. “N-next time?”

He was so fucking cute.

Rubbing my nose alongside his, I nodded. “Uh-huh.”

He swallowed. “You don’t do things in half measures, do you?” he whispered hoarsely.

I shook my head and dropped a kiss on his swollen lips. “Never have; never will.”

I frowned when his face grew serious. “And what you did. What we did. You’re okay with that?”

“I instigated what happened, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, of course. And I’m not complaining, but—”

“Why?”

“Yeah, why?”

“A lot of reasons.”

“Such as?”

We’d arrived at the part I wasn't 100 percent clear on. I wanted Ash, more so since I watched him come apart from only my lips and hands. My rock-hard dick jerked at the memory of his hot cum all over me, currently smeared across my clothes when I’d carried him to the bedroom. But the increasing emotions I had for him went far deeper than mere want. I had a desperate need to get close to him, to crawl beneath his skin, to truly be one with another person, with Ash.

“It’s hard to put into words,” I hedged.

An eyebrow arched at my answer. “Try.”

I chuckled at the way he had of forcing me to explain. He hadn’t let me get away with evading his questions in the past, so there should be no surprise he’d not let me get away with doing so now.

“The last few months have been tough. I came here to get away from the city, to try and reconcile what happened to me.” Looking away, I stared blankly at the padded headboard. “But my recuperation hasn't gone as well as I’d hoped. I’ve essentially succeeded in trading one prison, my apartment, for another. This beach house might have a better view, but it remains a prison, nonetheless.”

Ash stayed silent, unmoving.

“Then I met you.” Lowering my face to his, my heart skipped a beat at the sight of him under me, with his mussed hair and sated expression. “And everything changed.”

“How?” he asked, barely audible. His hands gently roamed over my body. Light fingers trailed along my skin, burning wherever he touched.

I tried to order the words in the right sequence in my head, how much Ash’s presence affected me. I needed to try to explain my reasoning to him without sounding like I was going crazy.

“It’s like there’s a tornado surrounding me. I’m getting tossed around all over the place. Never sure of my footing. Not able to think, to resolve my issues as my life swirls endlessly around and around until I’m dizzy, and everything blurs into nothing.” I struggled to breathe as the first tendrils of panic threaded their way into my consciousness. “And the noise. All the time, so much noise in my head, questioning, questioning, never ceasing for a moment.”

“Sh, you’re okay,” Ash soothed. His voice comforting, his touch reassuring. I focused on him, gulping in air and letting him bring me down.

“When I’m with you…” I struggled to continue but needed to tell him why and make him understand. “…the chaos stops. All’s calm and quiet, and I can breathe again. The absence of noise is almost deafening, but peaceful at the same time. I can process what’s in my scrambled mind, work things out, and make them clearer.” Warm fingers brushed along my cheek, and I nuzzled into him. “Then you leave, and the tornado starts all over again, louder, wilder, more intense.”

“I’m the eye of the storm,” he murmured.

“Yes,” I whispered, as that’s exactly who he’d become. “Yes.” Leaning down I placed a gentle kiss on his lips, tracing the outline of them with my tongue as I slipped inside, wanting the connection, needing it. I moaned at the slight graze of his stubble against my lips, growing used to the sensation. The feel of his slim, muscular body, the roughness of his hands, and the smell of man permeated every one of my senses, permanently imprinting Ash on my psyche.

“Can I ask you something?” he said tentatively when we came up for air.

“Of course.”

His face gained a tinge of color. “Aren’t you meant to be, well, you know, aren’t you…”

“Straight?” I chuckled. “I always thought so, yes.”

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