Page 19 of A Little More Hope

How he’d helped me through my panic attacks with kindness and understanding, or his infinite patience with me when out walking today. He barely knew me, but he already understood me and my quirks, which must be what fueled my attraction to him. It must.

A knock on the bedroom door made me jump.

“You in there Mase?”

God, I loved how he said my name.

“Yeah.” There’d be no chance of me opening the door anytime soon, as I was far too conscious of seeing him after my inappropriate thoughts. I needed more time to regain my control to look him in the eye. “Give me ten minutes, okay, and I’ll be ready,” I replied, my voice rougher than normal, scratchy.

Silence for a couple of seconds. “Um, sure. It’s only—”

“I’ll be there in ten,” I reiterated, my words harsher than I intended, but I needed the timeout, or I’d freak the fuck out.

Another pause. “Okay. I’ll um…see you shortly.” Letting out a sigh of relief, I listened as his bare feet padded away down the hall toward the kitchen.

My head was a mess. I needed to think and analyze my feelings. Accepting my attraction to Ash was the easy part. I mean, what’s the point in denying the truth when my constant erection any time I was in his vicinity confirmed it every time?

But just because I was attracted to him didn’t mean I had to act on it. I’d always been proud of my ability to maintain a disciplined attitude to work and life. To rein myself in and keep calm whatever the situation. So I didn’t see any reason why I shouldn’t apply the same iron resolve when around Ash. It would be simple, right?

My inner pep talk complete, I relaxed, feeling more in control, which is exactly what I needed. Control. If I kept hold of mine, maintained my emotional distance, and no longer thought about Ash’s muscled, wet, naked body in my guest bathroom, I’d be fine. Fine.

Wait a second.

I frowned as a sense of apprehension crept its way into my consciousness. I racked my brain, trying to figure out what, but apart from walking on the beach and getting soaked to the skin for my efforts that was the extent of my actions today.

Soaked. Wet. Ash’s wet and naked body…

My heart rate spiked at the same time my stomach dropped like a lead weight when I figured it out.

Ash not wearing any shoes when he’d walked away, only the light slaps of his feet on the hardwood floor.

His bare feet.

Shit. My head dropped forward, and I let out a strangled moan.

He’s got no clothes to put on.

He’s wearing nothing but a towel.

Shit, shit, shit.

The sudden ringing of my phone cut into the silence, making me jump. Wriggling around, I managed to squeeze my left hand into my sodden jeans to pull my cell out, half the pocket lining coming out along with it.

Looking down at the caller ID, I grimaced. Gabe. It’s like the guy knew exactly the wrong time to call. Or maybe this was the right time? Whatever. He’d keep calling until I picked up, worried something had happened to me if I didn’t. Reluctantly, I answered, bringing the phone up to my ear.

“Hi,” I greeted him, not particularly enthusiastically.

“Wow. You’d think someone who sees no one and talks to no one all fucking day, might be a little more excited to hear my amazing voice.”

I laughed. One of the numerous things I loved about Gabriel Sanchez was he’d never let me wallow in self-pity. He knew me better than anyone and understood more than most about what I was going through. Had shown time and again, how much he supported me, worried about me, cared about me. But letting me wallow or mope? Not a fucking chance.

“What on earth was I thinking?”

“I know, right?”

I relaxed into the pillows. Another point to note about Gabe. Once he got someone on the phone, they’d better listen.

“How are you?” he asked, his voice becoming serious.

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