Page 16 of A Little More Hope

I did. I did know.

“We don’t have to go for a long walk today. We could just make our way down to the bottom of the steps and sit there for a while, so you can get used to your surroundings from a different perspective until you’re ready for more.”

As long as I stayed with Ash, I didn’t care how far we went, but not stepping foot on the sand, was out of the question. Walking down to the bottom of the stairs would feel the same as walking to the end of the deck. I classed it as part of the beach house, so I’d still be on the property. Not pushing far enough out of my comfort zone. Ugh, I hated such a clichéd expression, but the phrase aptly described my current thinking, so I went with it. Regardless, I’d not pushed anywhere near hard enough so far to do me any good, and I needed that to change.

I shook my head. “It’s the beach or nothing.”

A pleased grin spread across his face. “Is that right?”

I beamed at him, feeling like a teenager suddenly. “Yep.”

Ash laughed, let me go, and headed for the door. Opening wide the final barrier to the outside world, he ushered me through. “So, let’s go for a walk.”

Chapter Six

Ash

Descending the long line of steps from the beach house to reach the last wooden slat at the bottom of the steep bank had been a slow journey. We stopped numerous times for Mason to check out his surroundings, scanning the beach from end to end to reassure himself we were alone. But the more steps he took away from the safety of his home, the more antsy and nervous he became until I stopped him about two-thirds of the way down.

“We don’t have to do this, Mason,” I reiterated, rubbing my hand along his arm, trying to offer him comfort. I didn’t want to crowd him but at the same time didn’t want him to think I wasn’t there for him to hold on to either if he needed to. The last thing I ever wanted was to put any doubt about my support for him in his already skittish mind.

“No,” he pronounced through gritted teeth. “We’re going to the bottom of these steps and we’re going to walk on the beach if it’s the last fucking thing I do.”

I grinned widely at him, and he flashed me his lopsided smile, the one that made my knees go weak. Now, watching Mason take his first tentative steps onto the sand, I wanted to let out a loud whoop, I was so pleased for him.

Before we set out around forty odd minutes ago, the morning had been warm, so I’d worn a light sweater, thinking that’d be more than adequate. But the weather had rapidly changed, the clouds becoming dark and heavy, the wind blustery, its cold tendrils whipping at our clothing and hair. Mine was short and messy so pretty much stayed put, but Mason’s was blowing all over the place and made my fingertips twitch to smooth back the messy strands so I would get to touch him again.

Placing my hand on his shoulder, I squeezed reassuringly. “You ready?”

Another scan along the beach, and he nodded in agreement.

We headed straight for the water, where the waves were crashing on the sand, the foamy white tops contrasting sharply against the dark ultramarine swell. I wanted Mason to get up close to the sea, despite not going in. The shore break was by far my favorite place to be, barefoot at the edge of the surf, the cold water flowing between my toes. If I had a bad day or got upset for any reason, I could always be found here.

We walked in silence for a while to give Mason time to settle and calm his nerves, dodging the incoming waves so his feet didn’t get wet as we followed along the curve of the bay.

“So, when you’re not enjoying the highlife up in Melrose Bay, what’s it like in Manhattan?” He’d already told me he lived there, so this wasn't a deep and meaningful conversation by any means. Mason was concentrating hard on his surroundings and keeping himself together, so I didn’t want to talk about anything serious. “New York is one of the few places I’ve never visited.”

I stopped after a few seconds, realizing Mason wasn’t with me. Looking over my shoulder, I found him staring at me like I was bonkers.

“Are you for real?” he asked, shocked.

“Totally.” My lips quirked at his seriousness. “I’m not really a big city boy, to be honest. All those angry people crammed together, pushing and shoving past you, acting as if you’re an inconvenience, just so they can get to where they’re going ten seconds faster.” I shuddered. “I can’t think of anything worse.”

He moved up alongside me, his long legs making up the short distance in no time. Raking his hands through his hair to push it out of his face, he turned his head and looked me directly in the eye, his intense gaze causing a sliver of arousal to feather down my spine. Being the center of Mason’s attention was definitely something I could get used to.

“So what type of guy are you?”

“A total beach bum.” I looked longingly out at the ocean. “There’s nothing better than bringing my surfboard to an empty beach and having the waves all to myself.”

“I’d like to see that,” he said wistfully.

“I need to buy a new board first,” I replied.

“Wow. I’d have staked my life a surfer would rather sell a kidney before they’d give up their board.”

I lifted my shoulders instead of answering his question. I could have told him I’d dinged my board while out on the water, and he’d likely believe me, but I didn’t want to lie to him. Prior to Aunt Mary Ellen leaving me her house and her money, I’d gotten down to my last few dollars and had to sleep rough or at a shelter if I managed to get into one. I’d loved being a lifeguard, and when I’d managed to find work, the job gave me enough cash to eat and find a room to sleep in and go out occasionally. But spots were fiercely fought over, and plenty of times life had gotten tough, and I’d struggled to find work when traveling up and down the coast. I wasn’t enough of a people person to wait tables and was useless at tending bar, as I always forgot which ingredients went into what cocktail, pissing my managers off when I had to look them up all the time. So being forced to sell my most prized possession had been tough, as surfing on my days off gave me my only escape from my situation. But I’d gotten to the point where I had to either sell or starve, so in the end my belly won out.

Mason’s warm hand on my arm broke me out of my musings. “I’m sorry.”

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