Page 70 of A Little More Hope

Ethan huffed so I turned to him, but he wasn’t looking at me. There was pain in his eyes for a few seconds before he gathered himself, gave a quick headshake and looked back at me.

“Okay. So tell me what do you want to do?” Ty asked, regaining my attention.

“I need to prove to him I do care, that I do want him, and show him I absolutely do trust him and won’t leave. But how can I possibly do that if I’m in New York and he’s back in Melrose Bay? Or if I’m jetting off all over the country or, even worse, in a foreign country, fixing problems for weeks on end, negotiating with suppliers, project managers…all of it.” Sagging in the chair, I ran my fingers through my hair and gripped the base of my neck. “How can I do all that and continue to be there with him—for him—prove I’m in for the long haul? Be right by his side if I’m never around?”

“It’s called compromise,” Ethan answered, his voice gruff. “Nate and I do it all the time. Just like you, I go away a lot, and he understands it’s a big part of my job. Part and parcel of owning a big company. It doesn’t mean I’m not there for him. We have video calls each night I’m away. We message constantly, always in contact. Oh, I’m not saying being apart is easy, as it’s not. It’s fucking hard to be away from the person you love, but when I get home, when we reconnect”—his eyes clearly displayed the adoration he had for his partner—“let me tell you, the bond between us strengthens more than ever and makes all the other crap worthwhile. I have Nate’s back, and he has mine. We support and love each other. It’s as simple as that.”

I let his words sink in and settle. Having never seen Ethan and his boyfriend together, in my head he was still the single guy who pretty much screwed any man that moved. I'd not given much thought as to how he coped when he was away from Nate, or what the distance and time apart cost him now he had a permanent partner in his life. He’d given me a lot to think about.

“But at least you and Nate are in the same city. My situation is not the same as yours. He’s there and my job’s here,” I countered.

“Hello.” He studied me like I’d gone crazy. “You never heard of flexible working? Okay we’ll have to move things around a bit: meetings, client networking, etcetera, and you’ll need to do some commuting to the office, but it’s nothing we can’t work out.” He finished his spiel, looking extremely pleased with himself.

I hadn’t contemplated remaining with the company and working remotely as an option, as I thought I’d lose the connection to everyone I worked with. But now it was a distinct possibility, and from the smug expression on Ethan’s face he knew I hadn’t thought of that as a viable workaround. He had me, and he knew it.

“Fine, I’ll think about it,” I placated him. “But I’ll need to discuss any options with Ash—”

“Ash?” Ty butted in.

“Yep. Ashton…” I trailed off. Fuck. Ethan and Ty began to laugh as I tried to recall his last name. He must have told me at some point. I simply had to remember.

I dropped my head into my hands. “See, I’m so bad at this.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Ethan replied, “you’ve had a lot on your mind lately.”

“You’d think I’d remember the last name of the man I’m in love with.”

The laughter died immediately. “You love the guy? This Ash?”

I blushed. “Did I not say that part?”

“I think I’d have remembered if you had.”

“Okay, so yeah, I love him.” I wasn’t entirely comfortable having this conversation with them. I’d never been one to bare my soul, preferring to keep my emotions under wraps, as all this “sharing” crap was for other people. Seems not. Talking my issues out with my friends and getting them off my chest was, in fact, cathartic. I’m not saying I’ve become a convert, but I mightn’t be so wholly dismissive about discussing my worries and concerns in the future either.

“There, that wasn’t so hard to say, was it?” Ethan chided me gently, before flashing his megawatt smile. “You should bring your guy to Manhattan so we can meet him, and he can meet Nate. We can double-date. It’ll be so much fun.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“No, seriously, Nate will love having someone else there to bitch to about me, and he can also sympathize with Ash.”

I got stuck on one word. “Sympathize? Why would Nate need to sympathize with Ash?”

“Oh, come on,” he scoffed, “neither of us are easy to get along with. I’m always front and center and quick to shoot my mouth off and you’re more the strong and silent type with the standoffish attitude.”

Silent and standoffish? What the fuck?

“They’ll be best buddies before you know it. Trust me, once the two of them meet, they’ll have so much to talk about.”

I stared at him. “I don’t know if he’ll take me back yet.”

He instantly dismissed my comment. “’Course he will.”

After the way I’d screwed us up, I didn’t feel as confident about that as he did.

“What are you doing later?” he asked. “Come over to ours for dinner. You can meet Nate. You’re gonna love him.”

Ty snorted. “You sound like a fifteen-year-old girl showing off her first boyfriend.”