Page 93 of A Little More Forgiveness

The sound of my heart pounding behind my ribs and my blood pumping furiously in my veins drowned the silence layering the cabin. I wanted them. I wanted Gabe and Leo to become a part of my life, a part of my future, but how did I make that happen? What did I need to do win them over?

Fuck. What was I going to do?

I had to try though, didn’t I? I’d already lost the person I’d loved once by pushing her away. I’d never forgive myself if I did the same thing again and lost Leo and Gabe too.

Grabbing the papers and check, I folded them in half and stuffed them in my back pocket and hurried out of the kitchen to the front door, my heart taking over ahead of my brain. I ran to the truck, jumped inside, and with shaky hands, started the engine. If I was going to do this, I first needed to speak with Leo, make him see how much I loved and wanted him. If I managed to get over that huge hurdle, we’d both figure out how to work on Gabe together because if I wanted him to take another chance on me after the way I’d treated him, I’d need all the help I could get.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Gabe

If nothing else, waking up in the familiar surroundings of my own bedroom felt really good. The blacks and whites were calming, if not a bit dull after the rich wood of Mitch’s cabin and his colorful throws and cushions. Also, while my memory foam mattress was way more comfortable than his older one, I kind of preferred his because he and Leo would be there too, rather than me alone in the large, empty bed I currently sprawled in.

Don’t get me wrong, I liked my space but had gotten used to having a big hairy Mitch to cuddle into, or Leo’s muscular chest to lie my head on.

My beach house was stunning, but also sterile. Hmmm, perhaps I needed to add some color and mix it up a little?

“Hello?” Mason’s voice carried from the hallway. “Gabe?” he shouted up to me from the bottom of the stairs. “Get your sorry ass down here.” Now I’d returned to my own home, I should have guessed he wouldn’t leave me alone. For a guy who had the gentlest voice most of the time, he could be loud and annoying when he wanted to be heard. “Gabe,” he shouted again.

“All right, all right. Keep your hair on.” Throwing off the covers, I padded over to my bedroom door and leaned out to glower at the man at the foot of the stairs, his smug grin not helping my mood in the least.

He nodded his acknowledgment of me but continued to hold my gaze. “It’s done,” he said solemnly, meaning he’d delivered the latest papers to Mitch as I’d asked. I was too raw to venture anywhere near him to make the drop myself.

I’d added an extra bonus, too, in the form of a personal check. Without a doubt, Mitch wouldn’t survive the end of winter without some extra cash. We may not have worked out, but I wasn’t so callous or resentful to let him freeze to death because he didn’t have the funds to pay the heating bill. Plus, the guy needed a break, and I had plenty of money to splash around. The amount I’d written on the check wouldn’t even register in my bank account, so why not help him out and gift enough for him to finish his renovations and have a reasonable sum left over? Knowing him, he’d probably tear the check in two, anyway, just to be an asshole. I smiled as I envisaged him doing exactly that, the obstinate fucker.

“Come next door when you’re ready.” Mason gave me a massive smile. “Ash is making breakfast.”

“Wouldn’t wanna miss out on free food now, would I?”

I ignored how down, and angry, and annoyed, and upset, and fucking frustrated I’d become after letting two near strangers have access to my heart. Because yes, after tossing and turning all night, I finally gave in to the fact, as well as Leo, I’d also fallen in love with the biggest asshole of a guy ever born—Mitchell fucking Houghton.

Despite all the crap going on in my life, there’s no way in hell I intended to miss out on a decent breakfast. I needed comfort food to indulge myself in, and anyway, my problems weren’t going anywhere.

“I need to shower, so give me ten minutes,” I hollered back.

Mason nodded again and disappeared to his home next door.

A quick brush of my teeth and making sure not to look in the mirror at my sad and pathetic expression, I took a quick shower, dried, and dressed in clothes actually small enough to fit me, then headed next door. I stopped for a second to take in the turbulent sea crashing on the snow-covered beach, the waves booming as they landed on the shore, loving the fact my view reached to the far distant horizon rather than a few feet, like Mitch’s place, before the magnificent pine trees covering the landscape blocked everything else out, their thick bark and evergreen foliage cradling the cabin nestled in their midst. Yeah, okay, maybe living surrounded by all those trees wasn’t so bad, after all.

After taking my fill of the beach and sea, I made my way over to Mason’s and Ash’s with a couple of minutes to spare, Mason grinning at me as I let myself in.

As always, the interior decoration of their beach house never ceased to surprise me. The place had been a dump when Ash had inherited the run-down shack from his late aunt, but they’d transformed the space beyond recognition, turning it into a beautiful home. With the many sea-green cushions and throws brightening up the room, alongside bursts of color from the art they’d acquired standing out against the chalk-white walls, my house appeared bland and uninteresting in comparison.

My favorite item in their home, except for the huge piece of driftwood art on the dining room wall, was the large squishy sectional sofa. I’d spent a lot of time slouching on the comfy cushions and chatting to Mason and Ash and had created fond memories of being a part of their family in such a short time.

“I told Ash breakfast would get you out of your pit.” He stood behind his fiancé as he served up and gave him a tender kiss on his neck, the simple action sparking a wide streak of jealousy that he’d managed to get and hold onto his man while I’d managed to lose both of mine.

Again.

“Take a seat,” Ash said, smiling up at me as he pushed a plate of french toast toward where I stood on the other side of the kitchen island.

They made a cute couple, even if initially we were a bit shocked the only straight one out of the four of us managed to bag the type of guy we’d all give our right arm for. Well, except for Ethan, of course, who’d already bagged Nate.

A number of years younger than Mason, Ash had turned up exactly when he’d needed him most, and I, for one, couldn’t be more grateful. We were close to losing Mason to his depression and anxiety, but Ash had helped pull him back from the brink and made him happier than I’d ever seen him.

“Eat,” Mason ordered, so I did. Cutting a big piece of the toast, I slathered mascarpone cheese and some of Ash’s homemade strawberry jam on the top, before inelegantly shoving the forkful in my mouth.

“Damn, that’s good,” I groaned around my mouthful of food, Ash beaming at my praise.

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