Page 84 of A Little More Forgiveness

“What the hell are we going to do?”

I had no clue. I’d grown so used to being in our bubble of three, the world outside had ceased to exist for close to a week, and I was extremely reluctant to venture back into reality. Here, Mitch and Gabe loved and respected me. I meant something, had worth to these two amazing men.

Out there, I was Malcolm Taylor’s disappointment—the failure unable to keep a job, unable to seal the deal. My stomach churned at having to return to reality, and I fought against the urge to throw up, the bile rising in my throat leaving a bitter taste in my mouth after the sweetness of the hot chocolate.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Mitch

Hiding away in the stables, I struggled to come to terms with what the information I’d received meant to me and my life. The text confirming the bridge would soon be open should have been good news, and it was what I’d originally wanted. However, the message had turned everything upside down, and I was clueless as to what to do.

Come tomorrow, Leo and Gabe would get in their vehicle and drive home. I’d have to stand there and watch them go, watch them leave me on my own again.

My life had changed beyond recognition in the last week, and I’d never even noticed. I’d gone from being alone and expecting to stay that way, to having not one, but two men in my life. Two men I’d fallen in love with in the space of few days. A few fucking days!

How on earth had that happened?

The horses snickered their greeting when I entered the stables. At least they’d be sticking around. “It’s you and me from now on,” I murmured to them.

Doesn’t have to be.

The damned voice in my head I thought I’d managed to silence spoke up loud and clear. Leo had told me he loved me and Gabe, and I loved both of them. Gabe had told Leo he loved him but hadn’t said the words to me, so where did I stand in this scenario?

They might easily go home and continue their relationship without me, but would Gabe actually do that after what had happened to him? I hoped not. I didn’t want to lose either of them but didn’t know how to keep them either. I’d grown used to their company, used to having them around all the time, and after my self-imposed solitude, it was quite the revelation.

My surroundings were a constant reminder of how much work I still had to do to get the place anywhere close to being ready for paying customers. I’d been slowly sinking in the quicksand of my grief for far too long, and now Leo and Gabe had thrown me a lifeline, offered me a chance at a possible future, a happier future.

Was it so wrong of me not to want to let them go?

Perhaps it would better if I let the sand suck me under, give up struggling, and let this place and the shell of my half-life fall down around me. They probably wouldn’t even notice. Gabe would return to New York, Leo following behind, likely getting a job at Gabe’s company. But me? I was tied here so couldn’t up and leave to tag along behind them like a lovesick puppy. What the hell would I do when I got there anyway?

Working all my life with livestock, the land, nature, I’d be totally out of my depth surrounded by all those buildings. There’d be too many people, too much noise. I’d go crazy within days if I had to live there all the time.

I grabbed the bag of organic feed and busied myself filling the horse troughs, ensuring they had enough to eat along with adequate water and hay. We were in for another cold night, so I put their horse blankets on to give them extra protection from the freezing air. A final check and I made my way to the cabin, my feet getting heavier with every step closer to home and the two men inside.

We needed to speak about what would happen once they were free to leave, but I didn’t have the mental strength to do so tonight. We still had until first thing tomorrow to make any decisions, so I’d push the notion of them leaving out of my mind and try to enjoy my last night with them. I wasn’t sure how I’d manage to do so with the way my heart ached and my stomach filled with lead, but I’d give it my best shot.

Shrugging out of my coat and boots on entering through the front door, my eyes automatically focused on the Christmas tree in the corner, the string lights twinkling brightly, the baubles reflecting a kaleidoscope of color. This time last week I’d have walked in to a dark and empty house, the place eerily quiet, and I wouldn’t have talked to a soul all day.

Tonight, the lamps were on, making the place glow with a cozy warmth. One of them had lit the fire, the flames dancing merrily in the hearth, the heat welcome after being outside. Classic Christmas songs floated out from the kitchen, where the radio played, and I heard Gabe and Leo’s low murmurs coming from the bedroom. Their presence filling the once cold and empty space created a new energy, a new lease on life after years of death and loneliness permeating every room. The cabin had become a home again, and dear Lord, I wanted so badly for it to remain one, rather than return to the bleak environment it had been since Katie’s death.

Leo stepped out of the bedroom in my dressing gown, drying his hair with a towel. “Hey.” His shy smile made instant butterflies swirl in my stomach, while his eyes ran all over my body, searing me with his gaze.

“Hey,” I croaked back, walking over to him, needing to touch and taste. Taking him in my arms, he melted against me, the heat from his body warming my own. I took his mouth with mine, hungrily eating at his lips, biting the full lower one, teasing him with my tongue. His answering moan spurred me on as I speared my tongue into his eager mouth, his own tangling with mine, sucking hard.

My hands ran down his front, finding his cock already hard under the thin material of my robe. Undoing the tie, I parted the fabric, slid my hands up his firm chest, and pushed the garment completely off. I needed to see all of him. He was magnificent, the golden hairs on his chest glinting in the warmth of the lamps, and the low level of light showing off every nuance of his powerful body.

Taking one of his nipples between my fingers, I rolled the nub around the pads until the flesh firmed under my ministrations. Leo shivered as he gave himself over to me, his sexy groan making my cock pulse with desire.

“I need you,” I breathed, then licked up his neck, along his jaw, taking his mouth with mine once more. “Need to be inside you.”

His answering shudder gave me all the approval I needed. Taking his hand, I led him to the bedroom. Movement in the attached bathroom pinpointed Gabe’s location, and for a moment, I wondered what they’d been doing together while I’d been outside.

“We were waiting for you,” Leo said, reading my mind.

Gabe appeared in the doorway, his hair, roughly pushed back off his forehead, was still wet from his shower, making him look dark and dangerous and exotic. Beads of water dripped off the thick strands to slide down his neck and chest in tiny rivulets, making me lick my lips in anticipation of tasting his hot, damp skin.

With his smoldering gaze fixed on mine, he slowly and deliberately loosened the towel tied low on his hips, letting it fall to the floor, his semi-hard cock springing up, growing thicker and longer with every passing second.

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