Page 19 of A Little More Forgiveness

“You need to be more careful,” he groused, his voice sounding deeper, huskier, the anger from earlier resurfacing and giving his words a hard edge. He turned abruptly, then stalked ahead, leaving me to catch up, seemingly no longer bothered if I fell on my ass. Trailing behind him carefully, my heart sank as I realized the progress we’d made in the stables was probably long gone, and we’d more than likely have to start at the beginning all over again.

Chapter Eight

Mitch

Leaving Gabe where he stood, I hurried to the cabin, needing a second to pull myself together, my brain currently in overdrive as I replayed what had happened.

My heart had been pounding so hard as I looked down at Gabe. His body had been plastered along the full length of mine, and my leg had instinctively moved between both of his to support him and prevent him falling in his totally inappropriate footwear.

Enveloped by my bigger body, his face was deep in my shadow as he looked up at me, and for a split second I wanted to close the gap between us and kiss his smart mouth into silence. Which was shocking enough, but when I felt his cock against my thigh, I realized if he wasn’t already fully hard, he’d get there soon.

His arousal had been the catalyst I needed to extricate myself and get as far away from him as possible. The fact he may fall was the least of my worries in my haste to put some distance between us.

I couldn’t allow myself to have these feelings for anyone.

Anyone.

It was the worst fucking betrayal of Katie’s memory. To think I’d been tempted, if only fleetingly, had nausea churning in my stomach. I needed to get to my bedroom. Needed to beg Katie for her forgiveness. All night if necessary. Anything to get the roiling of my stomach to stop and the sense of dread encasing me to dissipate.

Entering the house, I didn’t break stride. “He’ll be in shortly,” I informed Leo tersely, making him startle. I ignored him. Instead, I snapped my fingers at my dogs. “Boys, with me.” They immediately stood and obediently followed me into the bedroom.

Once I’d shut the door firmly behind me, I sat slumped on the edge of the bed. Taking deep breath after deep breath to bring my heart and pulse under some degree of control, it took forever before the tension ratcheting my body dispersed enough for me to relax.

What on earth had I been thinking? Falling back onto the mattress, I absently stared at the ceiling and the rustic chandelier Katie had chosen. I remembered how happy she’d been when she’d found it. “It’s perfect,” she’d claimed, her eyes dancing. All I saw were some old antlers and a few lightbulbs. I’d never seen what she did and studying the fixture as I lay on the bed, I still couldn’t. Though I’d always see the light as perfect now because it reminded me of her and would every single time I switched it on and it’s warm glow illuminated the room.

Lifting my head, I glanced around: the bedding, the furniture, the pictures on the walls, all chosen by her. My gaze lost focus, and everything began to blur into light and color as tears filled my eyes and loss consumed me. Blinking them away did nothing to help as they continued to trickle down my cheeks and soak into my beard.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to her. “I’m so, so sorry.”

The light knock on the door had me sitting up sharply and hurriedly wiping at the wetness on my face. Luckily, crying didn’t affect my features too much. Unlike my wife, who used to look like a puffy, red-eyed chipmunk whenever she got upset or after watching a sad movie.

God, I missed her so much.

The knock came again, louder this time.

“Mitch?” Leo called. Christ, the last thing I needed was him trying to check if I was okay, no matter how sincere he’d be.

“Yeah?” I went and opened the door. “What’s up?”

“Sorry. I don’t mean to bother you, but do you have any blankets or sheets we can use?”

Damn. In my haste to get away from Gabe, I’d forgotten all about their improvised sleeping arrangements. “Yeah. Give me a second, and I’ll get you some.” I closed the door, not waiting for a response, and opening the built-in cupboard beside it, pulled out some sheets and a few blankets and pillows.

Returning to the living room, I noticed Leo or Gabe had already managed to pull out the sofa bed. Whoever had done it was a better man than me, as I always struggled to set the damn thing up, and I’d not had to in the past few years. I forced myself to shrug off the sense of weirdness having people in my home after all this time evoked. I’d gotten used to being on my own a long time ago, but the knowledge people were moving around the house was strangely comforting, and I had no clue why.

“Here you go.” I dumped the bedding onto the armchair. “Where’s Gabe?”

Leo raised his eyebrows, probably at my shortened use of his name. “He’s in the bathroom. Why?”

“No reason. Just wanted to make sure he made it inside in one piece, I guess.”

Leo chuckled. “He does seem somewhat unsteady on his feet in the snow.”

Had he been watching us?

My pulse quickened at the idea of him seeing us so close together. Shit, I hope he didn’t think we’d done anything untoward. I’d only helped him stay upright. “Yeah, he’s, for sure, unsteady. Had to hold him up to stop him from falling at one point.”

Leo nodded. “I guessed that was the case.”

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