Page 95 of A Little More Forgiveness

On reflection, I’d never noticed the starkness of my beach house before, and looking around now, my home environment pretty much summed up my life—bleak and devoid of color—and it had been for years. But in the last week, there had been so much color, I’d been blinded by the brightness and intensity. I’d always lived life in the fast lane. Out with friends at bars, clubs, restaurants, you name it, every chance I got. Picking up random guys on an almost nightly basis, I’d decided I was having fun and enriching my life. In truth, I’d had a far better time being stranded in the middle of nowhere at the cabin and relished cooking for Leo and Mitch and hearing them praise my food. I’d enjoyed relaxing on the sofa together, talking, getting to know them while the dogs snored contentedly by the fire.

I’d been a homeboy at heart who craved closeness, family, long term partners, and had never realized it. When she finds out, Mamá is never gonna let me live this down. Her playboy son finally wanted the quieter pace of life; she’d milk this for all she was worth.

The sudden sound of the doorbell piercing the calm made me jump. I walked down the hall toward the front door and spotted Ethan and Nate on my stoop.

“Hi, honey, we’re home,” Ethan sang through the glass, his killer smile, which at one time used to have men lining up to fall into his bed, spreading from ear to ear.

God, I’d missed him and his handsome face. I’d only been gone from the city a week, but so much had happened in that time, my absence felt more like a lifetime. Throwing open the door, he scooped me up in a huge man hug, as he swayed back and forth.

“Hey, Gabe,” Nate’s smiling face greeted me as I caught sight of him over his boyfriend’s shoulder.

I returned his smile. “Hey, Nate.”

Releasing me, I looked them both over. “What’re you two doing here?”

“Three,” A deep rumbling voice answered as Ty stepped around from the side of the house to take over from Ethan and wrap me up in a bone-crushing hug.

“Guys,” I choked, my emotions getting the better of me.

“Jeez, stop with the waterworks already,” Ethan quipped, and got a slap on the arm from Nate for his efforts. He turned to his partner with wide, innocent eyes. “What?”

After Ty let me go, Nate slipped between the two taller men and stood in front of me, his hand up and resting on my shoulder. “We were in the neighborhood so decided to pop by and”—he shrugged—“stay for the holidays.”

One of the lures Mason had used during the summer to get me up here for the holidays had been the idea of all us guys getting together like we used to. I’d left him to organize the logistics, but as he’d not mentioned any more about it, for some reason I’d gotten the idea they weren’t coming. Add in all my recent turmoil, and now seeing my closest friends almost became too overwhelming. They’d come for me, to be there for me.

Ethan put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around to face the hallway. “Can we continue this somewhere warmer because I’m freezing my nipples off out here.”

“Yeah, come on in,” I managed to say. “You need help with the luggage?”

“No problem, I got it,” Ty replied and headed to the car.

We walked down the hallway into the living space where I soon realized we wouldn’t all fit.

“Shit.” I scratched my head as I looked around the room. I really needed more furniture.

“Don’t you go worrying your pretty little head,” Ethan replied. “I remembered you didn’t have enough comfy places to sit, so I brought my own chair.”

I gawped at him like he’d suddenly grown horns.

“It’s the one I use when Nate and I go camping.”

I snorted. “You? Camping?” How had I not heard about this?

His bright grin almost blinded me before he glanced over at Nate, who smiled indulgently at his partner. They got lost deep in each other’s eyes for a few moments, and I couldn’t stop staring. There’d been no one more of a player than Ethan, which coming from me said a hell of a lot. Before he met Nate, there were hardly any men left in New York City whose bed he hadn’t fucked in.

I studied the slim, summer-blond man who’d become the love of his life. With his boy-next-door looks, he was cute, there was no getting away from it, and I if I’d met him first, I definitely would have had sex with him, but only the one time. Nate’s unassuming presence meant he almost blended into the background, and I’d often wondered how he’d managed to capture, and more to the point, keep Ethan’s attention. The guy must either have superpowers none of us were aware of or be absolutely incredible in the sack. Either way, he’d been exactly what Ethan had needed, and I wasn’t jealous in the slightest.

Oh, who the fuck was I kidding? Along with Mason and Ash, all I pictured was a sea of vivid green. I wanted what they had, so fucking badly, and I thought I’d had it, too, the first time around.

Boy, had I been so wrong. Karl and David had nothing on Leo and Mitch.

Nothing.

They’d inexplicably managed to burrow their way under my iron-clad defenses without me realizing and were there to stay. I’d been so fixated on skimming the superficial surface of our attraction, I’d not paid attention to the changes going on inside my head, or more importantly, inside my heart.

I’d been so fucking dense I could punch myself.

It was like I’d emerged from a long and exhausting sleep, the fog lifting as I gradually fought my way to wakefulness for the first time in years. Karl and David were getting married later this afternoon, and I felt…nothing. Zilch. Nada.

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