Page 86 of A Little More Forgiveness

It was not yet five, way too early for me to be up, but for some reason, I couldn’t sleep and had been awake for hours. Leo and Mitch were how I’d found them after the first time we’d spent the night together—wrapped up in each other’s arms and me on the far side of the bed.

I got up, padded to the bathroom, grabbed a few items of clothing, and quietly slipped from the bedroom, softly shutting the door behind me. In the living area, the lamps were on from the previous night, as were the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree, all forgotten in our haste to get naked. The soft warm glow they emitted did nothing to stave off the morning chill, so I turned the thermostat up to take the edge off and carried my clothes in my arms to dress in the kitchen to ensure I wouldn’t make a noise.

I pulled on my jeans, T-shirt, and sweater, then headed to the counter to turn off the radio, still playing Christmas tunes, and the ensuing quiet wrapped itself around me like a blanket. After setting up the coffee machine, I sat at the kitchen table and stared out into the darkness through the kitchen window. We’d be able to leave in a few hours, and the end of our enforced confinement kept playing on my mind. On the one hand, I was looking forward to getting back to civilization, to the hustle and bustle of people going about their everyday business. Melrose Bay wasn’t a major town by any means, but I missed daily activity in general, and being with my friends even more so.

On the other hand, I’d also be leaving Leo and Mitch, and I found the idea of our separation unsettling. We’d all gotten close in the last week, closer than I’d ever intended or imagined, and now our tentative arrangement would start to fracture. It was easy to bury my head in the sand, or snow, and believe everything would be hunky-dory when the three of us remained in such a small, isolated environment, but once we went our separate ways, I had no way of telling how things would play out.

They’d both have time to analyze what we’d been doing, and I didn’t think their conclusions would work out too good for me. Both of them lived here, worked here, had their lives here. Even if I did arrange a job for Leo at our New York headquarters, there was no guarantee he’d take me up on my offer. He might prefer the slower of pace of life even with his stepfather’s tight leash. No, I was the transient one who had a job in another city, a life in Manhattan. Once I traveled home, would they both want to continue with what we had, going forward, or would I be too distant and eventually fade into the past, a fleeting memory?

Wouldn’t they be better off cutting me loose to pursue a relationship together? They’d at least have a fighting chance if they took me out of the equation, so I didn’t further complicate their time together by flitting in and out at weekends, disrupting their lives whenever I visited.

Maybe they’d be better off if I left and didn’t come back at all?

The coffeepot bubbled in readiness, so I poured myself a large mug of caffeine and, taking a few sips, let the strong taste fully wake me up.

The sound of the coffee maker must have woken the dogs from their fireside slumber, and they clicked their way over to me and laid their heads in my lap as their tails wagged lazily from side to side. “At least you guys are happy I’m around,” I crooned at them, scratching their heads and smiling at the blissful expressions on their faces.

If only a scratch of the head resolved all of my other problems. I hadn’t progressed any further in getting Mitch to sell, and quite honestly, I was pretty sure he wouldn’t be, leaving me with the conundrum of what to do with the 50 percent of the land I did have. It wouldn’t feel right to build on the property and bulldoze our way through his home, especially after the memories I’d recently created here, to construct the resort the company wanted when Mitch very much didn’t.

So, what to do next? If I sold my share to someone else, an individual or a corporation, there’d be no guarantee they’d let the property remain as is. The opportunity to build more homes in anticipation of the burgeoning tourist industry would be too great a pull to resist, so that option didn’t fly.

My company wouldn’t want to hold on to their part of the land if it was of no use to them. I could sue Jared Houghton, I suppose, for selling the land under false pretenses, when he told us his brother wanted to sell the place as much as he did, but really, that wouldn’t help Mitch any. I’d still have half the land and so would he. We’d be no further forward than we were now.

“You’re up early,” the man in question’s rumbly voice broke the silence as, already fully dressed, he entered the kitchen. “Am I in an alternate reality or something?”

“Ha-ha,” I deadpanned, but smiled anyway. With his tousled chestnut hair and sleepy eyes, he made me think of warmth and home, something I only had growing up with my family and something I desperately wanted with him and Leo but had no clue how to make that happen.

“You make fresh coffee?”

I nodded and tracked him across the room to the machine, his long legs making quick work of the distance. He poured himself a full cup, added the same creamer and sat down beside me, pulling his chair in close and resting his hand on my thigh, possessively curling his fingers between my legs and making himself at home. He took a few sips of coffee before placing the mug on the wooden tabletop.

“You wanna tell me what’s eating at you to be up at this godforsaken hour?”

I chuckled to myself. There was no preamble or pussyfooting around with Mitch. If he wanted to know something, he asked straight out. After years of people’s evasion tactics being the norm in my life, his openness made for a refreshing change.

I lifted my mug and took a drink of coffee, giving myself a minute, savoring the bitter taste tempered by the hint of vanilla. “We’ll be leaving later today.”

He agreed but didn’t say anything.

“I guess I’m not sure what’ll happen next.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re not going to sell, are you?” The way his jaw clenched, confirmed my answer. “So, there’s nothing to keep me here anymore, is there?”

I wanted him to say yes, I had him and Leo, but he didn’t utter a word, and his lack of response crushed me and only confirmed he had zero interest in spending any time with me when I wouldn’t be around twenty-four seven.

He loosened his grip on my thigh before sliding his hand off completely. “I’m unsure how this is going to work,” he finally replied. “I’m guessing you’ll be returning to the city?”

I nodded.

“So? How?” The slight catch in his voice, gave away his worries.

“I still have my beach house in Melrose Bay.” I reminded him. “I could make the drive up before the weekend, so we get a decent amount of time together.”

“What about your job? Won’t leaving New York early cause problems?”

I mulled his question over for a few moments before answering, “I already have a home office set up in a corner of my bedroom, so I can easily work from there.”

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