Page 28 of A Little More Forgiveness

I had been away a lot during the previous few years. With Ethan off in Europe setting up the international arm of the business, the remaining three of us had taken up the slack, piling more work on our plates, which meant longer hours and more business trips. In hindsight, I wondered if working so much had been the right thing to do, as it allowed Karl and David to get used to life without me. When things finally started to calm down, our relationship was pretty much over. They’d formed an extremely close bond, while mine had frayed more and more each day, until they made the decision for me and wanted out.

The kicker, the annoying damn kicker was they still planned on getting married on Christmas Eve. The date I’d originally suggested for our own blessing ceremony. Their blatant disregard for how I may feel is what hurt me the most and had the knife twisting deeper in my gut, and I couldn’t figure out why. A date on the calendar shouldn’t affect me all that much, so why the hell did it bug the fuck out of me they’d decided to pick that one specific day, when they had another 364 to choose from?

“So I understand why you think you don’t deserve your freedom, but there are some upsides too. It led me here to Melrose Bay and the beach house I adore. Freedom has led two of my closest friends to find their forever partners. So, no matter how hard you may think your life may be, or how painful, having your freedom will eventually reap more benefits than you ever imagined.”

He remained silent, and I had no clue what else to say.

“It’s not the same thing,” he finally replied.

“Oh?”

“Even with freedom, my life won’t change as I’ll be taking all this”—he tapped the side of his head for emphasis—“with me wherever I go.”

“So why stay? Why hole up here where there’s zero chance of you moving past whatever’s holding you back? You may not think things will improve if you leave, but they sure as hell won’t if you stay.”

I hoped I’d finally managed to put a chink in his armor and he was going to say more, possibly agree with me, but he didn’t and instead headed for the door. “I need to go exercise the horses.” He didn’t wait for me to respond, leaving me on my own as I heard his boots crunching in the snow until the sound faded completely.

Chapter Twelve

Leo

They’d been gone forever, but as I checked the clock for the twentieth time, only a few hours had passed, leaving me bored and kicking my heels, unsure of what to do next. I’d done some exploring of the yard with the dogs, poking my head into the barns to see if I found anything interesting. I hadn’t…well…nothing worth mentioning anyway, only lots of forestry and horse equipment stacked neat and orderly on various hooks and shelves along the far wall. All my reconnaissance did was reinforce how much work still needed to be done and how no matter how many hours in a day Mitch put in, he’d never complete the tasks before he’d have to start all over again.

He needed help, and lots of it, but getting him to accept even a modicum of assistance would be extremely difficult, but I had to try to do something as standing aside watching him go under wasn't an option. A movement caught my eye as I stared out of the cabin window, which had become my default since I’d arrived, standing in front of the glass checking for what, I wasn’t sure, but I remained at my self-assigned post all the same.

I watched Mitch as he stalked across the yard, before disappearing down the side of the barn toward the stables.

Alone.

Unease crept over me, wondering if he and Gabe had argued again? God, I hoped not. For once, it would be nice if they just got along, if only for one hour. Hell, I’d take a single minute of peace if it allowed me to relax. My constant state of anxiety had begun to take a toll, with my shoulders permanently stiff, butterflies constantly churning in my stomach, and me jumping at every sound.

I stepped into my boots, still sitting by the door, and as Gabe had mine, I grabbed one of Mitch’s spare coats off the hook and shrugged it on.

The dogs, sensing an outing, scrambled to their feet. “Hey, boys,” I greeted them. “I’m not sure if your daddy allows you near the horses, so you’ll need to wait here to look after Gabe when he returns, okay?” They cocked their heads to the side as I spoke. “Sorry, guys.”

I’d gotten used to the two large bloodhounds roaming around the place. I’d never been a dog person, mainly because we weren’t allowed to have any growing up. Too messy. Too noisy. They’d get in the way. Pretty much how I’d been made to feel my whole life. These two though… I gave them a quick scratch under their chin and received a contented huff in return. Yeah, I’d easily get used to having these two around.

For a second, I wondered if this was a metaphor of some kind, and given time, I’d also get used to having two other guys around as well. Who’d have thought? Not me, that’s for sure. They both blew so hot and cold they gave me a permanent headache.

Scarf wrapped around my neck and prepared to go out in the cold, I picked up the gloves Mitch had loaned me this morning off the console and pulled them on. I’d been touched he’d noticed my hands were two blue blocks of ice and heat had unfurled in my belly when I’d put them on, able to feel the warmth from him inside them, like having his hot fingers wrapped protectively around my own.

The feeling was a new one for me and not something I knew how to handle. No one had ever cared enough for me to bother with such a small thing. Perhaps I’d read too much into the gesture, and he’d only been helping me out. Getting my hopes up had never been a particularly good thing for me to do, as it offered an easy option for my stepfather to rip them to shreds. But Mitch’s gaze when I’d placed my hands in his gloves had been possessive, I’d stake my life on it, and a shot of energy had zinged along my nerves at me being someone he might want to get possessive about.

After a few minutes bundling up against the elements, I left the house and followed Mitch’s path behind the stables, arriving at the small corral at the same time he climbed into the saddle on one of his horses. A large bay sitting patiently waiting for instruction, while an Appaloosa stood beside them in a harness.

I halted my approach and frowned. How could he go horseback riding in this deep snow? Surely trudging through the two or so feet freezing drifts can’t be good for the horse’s legs? Normally, I’d say something, but with how twitchy Mitch got about anything to do with him running this place, I bit my tongue, guessing he must know what he’s doing.

Continuing on to the fencing around the corral, I instead asked him, “You want some company?” I hoped he’d say yes.

He looked me over, his gaze probing as he obviously noticed I wore his jacket, but he didn’t make any comments, probably because he’d already seen Gabe wearing mine. “I’m not in the best of moods right now, Leo.”

Seriously, what had gone on between those two? “We don’t have to talk. All I want is to ride with you and get a better look at the surrounding forest.”

He mulled over his options, which I now understood was his way. Thinking of the pros and cons before deciding. I held my breath in anticipation until he huffed out some air and reluctantly climbed down from the saddle. “I’ll get you set up.” He handed me the reins of the smaller Appaloosa and the large stallion he’d been seated on and disappeared around the side of the stable.

Despite his reluctance, I beamed inside, thinking how his acceptance made me feel strangely lighter. We were only going on a horse ride, after all, and with him not in the mood to talk, the whole thing would probably be a tense experience. Though, I suspected that had more to do with what went on between him and Gabe, rather than him not wanting me to ride along with him. Still, I took his agreement as a major step forward, and I wasn’t going to waste the opportunity to accompany him.

A few minutes later, he returned and efficiently fixed the bridle and saddle to a gray mare standing at the far side of the corral. “Sadie’s a placid girl so you won’t have any trouble with her.” I didn’t want to reiterate I already rode, had ridden for years, so gave Sadie’s neck a few strokes of greeting, climbed on, adjusted the stirrups, and got settled. “Ready?” he asked.

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