Page 16 of A Little More Forgiveness

Hmmm.

I wasn’t, but I’d already vented my anger at my old colleagues in the forest service on the phone so had a bit more time to get used to the idea. And shoveling horse shit for a few hours, kind of puts things into perspective.

“Good. I’m glad.”

Leo released a long breath, both relieved and surprised at my laid-back attitude. “Okay. Great.” He made his way over to the wine rack, pulled out a bottle, and quirked an eyebrow, silently asking if he was okay to take it. I nodded. I mean, why the hell not? These people had invaded my home, my life, my privacy, so sure, go ahead and raid my pantry and the wine collection I’d built up over the last few years while they were at it?

Leo uncorked the wine and poured himself and Gabe a glass of one of my better reds. At least he had good taste. He offered one to me, but I shook my head.

“I’ll stick with beer, thanks.”

Between them, they served up the food ten minutes later, and then we all sat awkwardly around the table. Two of us on one side and Gabe the other, so I guessed Leo had decided we needed a barrier between me and him. He was probably right. We ate in complete silence, the occasional sound of someone chewing or a fork hitting a plate the only sound.

Awkward didn’t cut it.

The one thing making the meal bearable was the food: some sort of Spanish meat stew. Annoyingly, the tender beef in a tomato and red wine sauce, tasted absolutely delicious, though I’d never tell him so, of course. He already had enough of an inflated opinion of himself, and he certainly didn’t need his ego puffed up any more or we’d never fit in the cabin.

Already near to finishing my meal, I eyed up the stew remaining in the cookpot, determined not to give Gabe the satisfaction of watching me serve myself another helping, despite wanting to enjoy more of the delicious food.

Leo had finished his smaller portion a few minutes ago and currently sipped his wine. He took another before he turned to me. “How is this going to work, exactly?”

I frowned. “This?”

“This.” And he waved a finger in a circle indicating the three of us. “Where are we going to sleep for starters? You only have one bedroom and one bed.”

Still trying to wrap my head around having them here for the next three or so days, I hadn’t had time yet to figure out the logistics of our living arrangements.

Another sip of beer gave me a moment to formulate a solution. “The dogs can sleep in with me and you two can take the couch. It turns into a full-size bed.” I let that tidbit sink in for a second before adding, “You’ll have to share.”

“Share?” Leo repeated.

“What the hell?” Gabriel ground out.

I lounged in my seat, continuing to sip my beer. This was way more fun than getting to hear Leo tell Gabriel they were stuck here for days. I half shrugged my shoulders. “It’s entirely up to you, of course. One of you can take the bed and one can sleep in the chair. Or…” I regarded Gabe. “You could always sleep in the Jeep as you appear to enjoy it in there so much.”

“You bastard.” Gabe rapidly stood, pushing his chair away on the wooden floor, the scraping sounding loud in the kitchen. His eyes flashed as he leaned into me over the table. “You think this is a joke? We’re stuck here. All of us fucking stuck here for God knows how long, and you think it’s a fucking joke?” He balled up the napkin he held in his fist and threw it on the table before turning to Leo. “You have the sofa.” He stalked to the countertop and grabbed Leo’s car keys. “I’ll take the fucking Jeep with pleasure. Anything to get away from this—” He raised his voice. “—shitty—” He continued. “—cabin.” And stomped out of the kitchen and straight through the front door.

“Fuck,” Leo cursed softly, casting me a reproachful look. I hated Sanchez. Really hated him for what he’d turned me into. I wasn’t that person but seemed unable to keep from behaving badly whenever we were in the same room. Watching him leave, after graciously giving up the sofa and warm fire to Leo, made me feel like the bastard he said I was. I could blame my actions on the fact I resented him for stealing half my property right out from under me, but I’d be lying. I was being an ass because for the first time since Katie died I’d been forced into a social environment I hadn’t been prepared for. I’d rarely allowed anyone to visit the cabin, in years, and now these two men were in my private space, and them being here made me realize how much I’d missed having people around. They were thawing out the ice I had running through my veins, and I had no clue how to handle it.

Leo’s calm, soothing presence kept drawing me out, making me smile, allowing me to lower my guard a few times.

Whereas Sanchez fought me at every turn, relished the challenge even, and I fell into his trap every single time. It was like he persisted in poking me with an extremely sharp stick, continually digging the point in at different angles, so I had no way to determine where he’d stab me next, only react to him each time he made contact. Although I’d never admit to enjoying our encounters, I did relish the fire he stoked between us.

Despite how alive they made me feel, I still needed them gone. Both of them. Preferring my life when I buried everything deep, deep down in my soul. Them being here confused me, forced me to think, to react, to fight through the apathy and indifference I’d sunk into, and I couldn’t cope. I needed to remain numb inside, or I’d never survive the rest of my life.

However, that didn’t excuse me for being an asshole.

“I’ll clean up,” Leo murmured, rising from his chair. Quieter than either Sanchez or me, he gave the impression of wanting to keep from being noticed. It didn’t work, as one look and he was permanently etched into my brain. For a big guy, he moved fluidly across the kitchen, barely making a sound as he collected the dirty plates and placed them in the sink.

He didn’t say another word, and I didn’t like his silence. I didn’t know the guy at all, yet him thinking badly of me didn’t sit well. For some strange reason, I didn’t want to disappoint him, which was odd, as normally, I didn’t care who I disappointed, but him…

I released a long, frustrated sigh. “I’ll go speak to him, apologize.”

It took forever until he answered, and I’d already gotten up to leave when he spoke. “Why do you do it?” he asked, turning around to face me, the upset clear in his deep blue eyes. “Why do you provoke him so much?”

I shifted awkwardly at his discomfort.

“It’s not been eight hours, and I’m not sure I can do this for another eight seconds, let alone a few or more days.”

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