Page 153 of The Darkest Chase

Guilt swamps me as I kiss his wrinkled cheek.

What if something happened while I was out enjoying myself? Sure, he has Mrs. Brodsky checking and bringing him a few meals, but still.

What if he had one of his moments, and I came home with no idea where he might be or if he was even alive?

“I’m sorry, Grandpa. I’ll stay home and we’ll catch up tonight. I’ll make your favorite, cranberry sugar crumble muffins.”

“Oh, nonsense, girl.” He swats my arm. “I don’t need a damn nurse yet. Besides, you know I’m at my best in the mornings.”

I smile.

It catches me off guard every time he talks about it openly.

I’m the one dancing around it, I guess, dreading the day when mornings won’t be so kind to him anymore.

Maybe I got too used to people treating me that way, like something flawed that could break down any second.

Whispers behind hands, worried glances, long conversations behind closed doors I was never supposed to hear. A thousand things about my illness that never actually involved me.

I meet Grandpa’s twinkling blue eyes.

No wonder we understand each other so well.

I think his gaze softens as the silence stretches between us. Then he catches my hand.

“Tally, I know you’re doing what you’re doing at the big house for me,” he says. “Believe me, I’m grateful. Don’t think I’m not just because I’m clinging to my independence with my fingernails. But I don’t want you leashed to me, either. Do you know how happy it makes me to see you living for yourself?”

My heart hurts so sweetly.

Tightening my hold on his hand, I pull him into a hug, pressing my cheek into the grey and white wisps of his hair.

“They’re not mutually exclusive, Grandpa. I can do both,” I promise. “I can live for me—and do my best for you.”

“I know you can, Tally-girl.”

I nearly choke into a sob.

But I pull back before I let myself get too overwhelmed and take a shaky breath, smiling. “I’d better get moving. I need to change, and I’m due up at the big house soon.”

“Go on, girl. Shoo! Wouldn’t want to keep Mr. Arrendickhead waiting.”

I snort, laughing and darting into the back of the shop, then upstairs. When I step into the bathroom in my bedroom, I’m suddenly grateful Grandpa is so tactful.

I’m human chaos.

Marked from neck to toe with the hickeys.

I hastily wash myself off, dabbing a few spots with a little salve because I know Micah worries about me. After that, I throw on new jeans and a nice turtleneck.

It’s a little more formfitting than anything I’d want to wear around Xavier, but it’s better than letting him see my neck and getting any new bizarre ideas.

This body only belongs to one man.

The strange, possessive thought makes me flustered as I do my makeup.

I’m going for the ‘Oh this? I’m not wearing any makeup at all, I woke up this way’ look—secret: no girl ever wakes up like this.

Last, I grab my folio case before darting out with one last parting kiss for Grandpa.

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