Page 52 of Catching Feeling

Or maybe I just don’t have it in me to care anymore. I want this, and of all the things I deny myself, this isn’t going to be one.

Swallowing roughly, I nod, and that’s all it takes. My sober consent is all he wanted to give me what I need.

He slides two fingers beneath the waistband of my panties and dips into the wetness pooling between my legs, grunting when he feels how ready I am.

“Fuck, you’re drenched, baby.” His lips press against my neck, and another shiver rolls through me as my hips rock, desperate for friction. Anything to dull the throb. “I bet it aches, doesn’t it?”

He pinches my clit between his fingers, and my back bows, spots dotting my vision as pleasure snakes down my spine and blooms inside of me. My nerve endings feel on fire with each stroke of his fingers. It feels so good, and I feel delirious with desire, delirious with need for him.

“Let me take care of you, baby. Let me give you what you need,” he rasps as his fingers circle my clit roughly. “Fuck, Vivienne, do you know how long I’ve been dreaming about this? How many times I’ve fucked my fist and thought about sucking on your needy little clit again? How many times I’ve come with the thought of your tight cunt wrapped around my cock? I’m going out of my goddamn mind for you.”

I’m already teetering on the edge of an orgasm just from his fingers on my clit and from the filthiness of his words. That’s how tightly I’m wound, ready to snap at any given moment.

Pathetic, really, but I’m no longer in control of my body. It belongs to Reese and Reese alone.

My legs begin to tremble as they fall open giving him better access to strum his fingers along my sensitive clit. He’s not being gentle, which is exactly what I asked him for that first night. The fact that he remembers that and is so good at playing my body like an instrument surprises me.

Every touch is purposeful, and it feels euphoric.

His fingers slip down to my opening, then circle my entrance before pressing inside, immediately finding my G-spot. A whimper sounds from the back of my throat, a desperate, needy sound that would normally embarrass me, but I’m too out of my mind for him, for the orgasm that’s only just out of reach.

“Just like that, baby,” he groans, fucking me hard with his fingers as his lips nip at the sensitive spot beneath my ear. The sound of his fingers slapping against my skin fills the room. The filthiest sound, and I want more. I reach down and rub my clit as his fingers reach deep inside of me, over and over, our movements both sloppy and frantic yet so hot. “Be a good girl and come on my fingers so I can lick it all up. I’ve wanted to taste you again for so fucking long. Give it to me.”

That’s all it takes to send me careening off the ledge into a state of bliss. My orgasm rocks through me, pleasure overtaking every inch of my body, and I give myself over to it. I feel the wetness coating his fingers, sticky between both of us as I come, and the feral groan I hear in my ear as I do prolongs my orgasm. He’s wringing every ounce of pleasure out of me as I continue to rub my clit until it’s too sensitive to touch, and my body’s bucking against him.

Only then, when I’m able to open my eyes as my chest heaves and my entire body falls limp, does he pull his fingers out of me. I hear him suck them into his mouth greedily, and it sends an aftershock of pleasure through me.

It’s so dirty and so fucking hot.

“You taste so damn good I could eat you every fucking day for every meal and still never have enough.”

Shit. What did I just do? Does he think now that we’re going to… like, be together? I just… didn’t realize how much I needed… physical touch until today. And that scares me.

“Don’t get used to it. You know we’re good at one-offs, but that’s all it is, Reese. A onetime thing,” I smart, trying to make light of what we just did.

He stiffens behind me, and I hear him scoff. “Don’t do that shit. Don’t act like you don’t want me as much as I want you, Vivienne. Not while my fingers are still wet with your cum.”

I sit up, pulling my T-shirt back down as I turn to face him. “So what? It was a purely physical thing. Look, don’t complicate this.”

I hate that he’s heavy lidded, the ultimate picture of bedroom eyes, and so unbelievably sexy with his hair sticking in twelve different directions. No one should wake up in the morning with bed head and morning breath and be that effortlessly sexy.

“Who says I’m complicating it? Why do you keep pushing me away at every turn when it gets to be too much for you? Seems like you’re the one making it more complicated than it is.”

Inside my head, I’m rebuilding those walls I’ve so carefully crafted brick by brick, trying to push him back out from the space he’s taken up inside them.

Where all of my vulnerabilities are safe, and so is my heart.

Tossing the covers back, I swing my feet over and am out of his bed in a single beat. “Whatever, Reese. I’m not doing this. Thanks for the orgasm.”

I swing his bedroom door open, then slam it shut as I stalk into the hallway. I know I’m being a bitch, but I don’t know how else to put my defenses back up.

To make sure he understands that just because we have this physical attraction to each other, it doesn’t mean he gets to bulldoze in like he tries to do with everyone else.

Once I’m back in my bedroom, I grab a change of clothes from my dresser and stomp out to the hallway and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I hate that I can still smell him on me, so I’m glad to peel off the T-shirt that has his scent clinging to it and my panties that are still damp from his fingers inside of me.

Stupid, talented fingers. Stupid muscles. Stupid. Stupid.

Stupid.

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