Page 109 of Catching Feeling

It might be the most important gift I’ve ever given anyone, so yeah, I’m really fucking nervous.

“Are you finally coming to watch Gh—” She stops midsentence as her gaze drops to the gift in my hands, and her brow furrows. “What’s that?”

I close the distance between us, sitting down on the couch next to her, swallowing roughly as my pulse races. “A gift for you.”

“Reese, we said no more gifts. You’ve already given me so much…” She trails off, sitting up and blinking.

I nod. “I know, but this one is… really special, baby.” I hold it out to her, and she takes it with a slightly shaky hand.

The gift sits in her lap momentarily as she stares down at it and then agonizingly slowly begins to unwrap it.

“Sorry for the horrible job wrapping it. It’s the first time I’ve ever actually wrapped anything,” I admit nervously, sitting forward and resting my forearms on my knees as I watch her continue to tear off the paper to reveal the professionally bound book inside.

It’s a purple leather hardcover with a gold inlay title.

Haunted Homicide By Vivienne Brentwood.

Her hand flies to her mouth, covering it as her face crumples and her eyes shoot to mine. “Reese. You… you had my book bound?”

I nod, reaching out and cradling her jaw in my hand as I sweep my thumb along her cheek. “I did. I wanted to be the very first person to have a copy of your book because I’m so fucking proud of you for following your dreams and finishing it.” I press a kiss to her forehead. “But then I realized it’s not me that should have it. This copy is for your dad. He helped inspire your dream. As much as I love you… he loved you first, Viv. I know that he’s so proud of you. I know that he’s looking down right now and wishing he could be here with you. And I know he’d want to celebrate this moment with you… finishing your first book.”

Viv’s shoulders shake as she starts to sob. She brings the book to her chest, clutching it protectively, and I drag her into my lap, my arms circling her body tightly. She burrows her face into my neck as she cries.

“I am so lucky that I get to love you, Viv. I am so goddamn lucky that you’re mine, and I will never take it for granted. You’re the best person I’ve ever known, and I know your dad is such a big part of who you are,” I whisper against her hair. “I wish I could’ve met him. I wish I could’ve shaken his hand and thanked him. I wish he could be here to see you become a published author one day, to see your name on all of those bestseller lists. To go to your first signing event, to see you become everything he always knew you would be. I’d do anything to make that happen, baby, but I can’t, so I wanted you to have this. So you could still share this moment with him. I thought you could maybe take me to meet him too? And you could show him his copy and tell him all about your story.”

She’s crying so hard that she doesn’t speak for several minutes, simply clinging to me with the book clutched between us until she’s sucking in a breath, trying to calm herself. I give her as long as she needs because I know this has to be emotional for her. Fuck, it’s emotional for me.

“I love you, Reese,” she says against my neck. “I love you more than I ever thought was possible, and I wish I could express how special this is to me, but everything I can think to say feels inadequate. I don’t have words for how much it means to me. I’m not sure I ever will.”

I shake my head as I drag my fingers through her hair. “I don’t need them, baby. I can feel it.”

It’s what we do best—feel each other when words aren’t enough.

That’s how I know in my bones that Vivienne is the love of my life. We understand each other in a way that I can’t even explain, and I know she’s the girl I’m going to marry one day.

Because that’s what love is, a connection that is deeper than words.

It’s in my blood, coursing through my veins with each pump of my heart that belongs to her.

She pulls the book from her chest, brushing her thumb along the front as she stares down at it. “I wish that my dad could be here too. I wish he could be here for all of these moments in my life. To see me publish my book, to get married, to buy my first home. I think about that a lot,” she whispers, dragging her gaze up to look at me. Her eyes are red-rimmed and puffy from her tears, and raw emotion swirls inside of them. I lift my hand and brush away her tears, holding her when she rests her cheek against my hand. “I know he would be so proud of me. I just wish that I could see it. I would give anything for just five more minutes with him. Just five minutes to tell him how much I love him and how much I miss him, to feel his arms around me just one more time. To hear him tell one of his horrible dad jokes that I always pretended to hate, but secretly, they were my favorite. I wish I could taste his cooking again and hear him yelling at the TV when the Saints were losing. I wish I could remember what he smelled like, Reese. It’s been so long that I’ve forgotten. I’m scared that one day, I’ll forget all of these things, and I can never have them back. I just need five more minutes.”

She squeezes her eyes shut, overcome with emotion as she sucks in a shuddering breath and brings the book back to her chest. When she opens her eyes again, they’re filled with tears. “Thank you for this beautiful, thoughtful, irreplaceable gift. I will cherish it forever, Reese. Thank you. And I would love for you to meet him. It would mean so much to me.”

“Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be there.” I lean forward and pull her to me, pressing my lips gently against hers, tasting the salty remnants of her tears. “I’m sorry that I made you cry.”

“It’s a good cry. I just miss him so much, and you gave me something so special that will forever belong to us. It reminds me that even though he isn’t here, a piece of him is always with me, and I can never thank you enough for that.” She kisses me tenderly, bringing her free hand to my jaw. “You are so important to me. I want you to know that. You’re changing me, Reese, and I’ve never loved who I’m becoming more than I do now. Thank you for being my safe place to land. Thank you for helping me find myself again.”

“Always, baby,” I murmur.

I’ll always be the place she can run to. I’ll always hold her when the world around her feels like too much. I’ll always put her first, even when she can’t do it for herself.

I’ll always take care of her and be her strength.

From the moment I saw her months ago, I wanted her. But I didn’t even really know what that meant back then.

Mostly, I just loved when she busted my balls and gave me as much shit as I gave her.

I thought I had it all figured out, that my future was set in stone, and that I had everything I needed.

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