Page 39 of How Much For a Life of Lies?

Zach

Even now, four hours after we’d reported in, and half an hour since Kai had announced he was going to bed in the tiny spare room, I couldn’t shake the feeling of regret lingering in the back of my mind. I’d lost my temper with Kai earlier for no fucking reason other than he’d touched me and made me feel things, and deep down, I had to admit he was right. The kiss had been the right move to maintain our cover, and I owed him an apology for my reaction.

Attempting to push aside all the conflicting emotions, I busied myself making a cocoa in the dimly lit kitchen, hoping to hell it might help me sleep. Tylenol was taking the edge off my throbbing arm, and I did some experimental stretches, wincing at the tightness in the muscle. The bullet had gone straight through, but it had swerved and caused damage that, of course, I’d pushed through like an idiot and now tried to ignore. At least it was quiet after the chaos of the bar. But just as I settled into the solitude, the door to the spare room creaked open, and a sleepy Kai emerged.

My breath caught in my throat as he shuffled into the room, yawning, his T-shirt riding up to reveal a tantalizing glimpse of skin while his sweatpants hung low on his hips in a way that sent a jolt of desire coursing through me. Despite my best efforts to ignore it, the magnetic pull between us was undeniable.

I watched as Kai approached, his movements slow and languid, the faint scent of his cologne drifting through the air. With each step he took, the space between us seemed to shrink until he was standing mere inches away, his presence filling the space with an electrifying energy.

“Did you make enough for two?” he asked, and poked at my mug.

“No.”

“Hmmm.” He reached past me for the jar of cocoa powder, and his arm brushed mine. What in God’s name was he doing?

I stepped to one side to avoid him, leaning back on the counter, nursing my mug, and waiting for him to be done so I could do the last security checks on the house and at least get some sleep before tomorrow.

Only… shit… did he move closer?

Try as I might to resist, I found myself drawn to him, my heart pounding as I struggled to keep my composure. At that moment, with the warmth of the cocoa cupped in my hands and Kai standing so close I could feel the heat radiating off his body, I knew I was fighting a losing battle.

“You okay?” Kai asked in a whisper.

“Go to bed, Kai.” God, my voice sounded weird, all emotional and pleading for him to step out of my space.

He didn’t.

Instead, he closed the distance between us. A subtle tension crackled, thick with unspoken desire and uncertainty. His gaze, heavy-lidded with sleep, bore into mine, a silent invitation lingering between us.

Swallowing hard, I struggled to maintain my composure, to keep the boundaries we’d established despite that freaking kiss and the way he’d held me and dug his fingers into my hair. He reached out, his fingers grazing mine ever so gently, and a shiver coursed through me.

“Zach,” he murmured, his voice low and husky, sending a shiver down my spine. “I… I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to break our promise.”

His words hung in the air, a delicate thread connecting us in the silence. All the tension, frustration, and unspoken longing boiled over, threatening to consume us both.

Without a word, I reached out, my hand resting on Kai’s cheek, the warmth of his skin searing mine. In the soft glow of the kitchen lights, I could see the flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. We could move apart now, and he could go back to bed, and I could lock up, and we’d be done.

I wanted him.

Who was I kidding that I could even keep my hands off him. I wanted his fire, sarcasm, competence, and complete disrespect for the chain of command. I craved the life he had in him when I felt so dead inside, and I needed him. I took his hand, raised it to my hair, placed it there, waited. He seemed confused, and then something slid into his expression, knowing, understanding, and he curled his fingers into my hair and tilted my head, drawing me close. Our lips met in a hesitant kiss. All doubts and fears melted away, consumed by our fiery passion.

The kiss was fierce and untamed as he gripped me and tugged at my hair, making me his. How had I ever thought I could stop myself from having this? A surge of electricity coursed through me, igniting every nerve ending with an intensity I had never known as I went from half hard to iron when our erections slid together.

His lips were soft, yet there was a hunger, a raw passion simmering beneath the surface, threatening to consume us both. His touch was electric, sending shivers down my spine as our bodies pressed together and he rocked. In that moment, the world fell away, leaving only the sensation of Kai’s lips moving against mine, the taste of him like a drug. He slotted between my legs perfectly as I widened them to level our heights. He’d hate it if I said so, but given how he sighed and groaned as we moved, I could probably get away with saying anything right now.

If I had anything better to say than fuck.

Our breathing was hot and ragged as the kiss deepened. We lost ourselves in each other, and in that fleeting instant, I knew with a certainty that this wouldn’t stop at a kiss.

“You feel like heaven,” Kai’s voice was a soft whisper as he eased us apart, his breath warm on my skin. “Are you sure you want to?—”

I cradled his face and kissed him hard. His grip on my hair tightened as he let out a soft whine of need, pressing me to the counter. Every nerve in my body was alive, sparking with electricity.

“It’s like… I’ve been waiting for this,” he confessed between kisses, his voice tinged with a hint of uncertainty as he ground against me. “Like every moment leading up to this was just a prelude to something more.” Fuck. That was hot—the fact he could even string sentences together, and the raw honesty in his words. “I can’t stay away.”

I felt a surge of emotion welling up inside me as I listened to him speak, the intensity of his words washing over me like a tidal wave. “Yeah,” I breathed, my voice barely more than a whisper.

This kiss was more than a fleeting moment, and I was so close to coming, just from this, but I wanted more—not getting off in a parking lot outside a bar, or him fucking my sadness away. I wanted something real.

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