Page 36 of How Much For a Life of Lies?

He had me there, and my temper subsided. “You fucked up,” I snarled in one last rage at him, and then I slumped to a chair “You kissed me.”

“I branded you, so you didn’t get killed,” Kai muttered.

“You don’t get to do that.”

“I made it clear you were mine. Got them to back off. So that’s how we play it.”

“That’s not what we planned.”

“Yeah, but it’s the cards we have and?—”

I shoved him again, harder this time, feeling the resistance as he slipped off the chair, righted himself, and his back met the wall. He could have slipped away, but something inside compelled me to hold him there, to make him understand how far he’d strayed outside the lines.

Confusion and frustration swirled within me. What the hell was I doing? I wanted to punch him, to unleash the fury burning inside, to show him how much his actions had fucked us both over. But in that split second, something shifted as our eyes locked in a tense standoff.

A surge of conflicting emotions took my breath. Anger, yes, but also a gnawing uncertainty. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. We were supposed to be partners, working together to accomplish our mission. Yet here we were, at odds with each other.

I’d killed my child’s mom.

I’d had to leave Charlie.

None of this was on Kai.

But it was him who was taking the brunt of my frustration.

And worse was that when I was in his arms, it didn’t feel wrong.

It felt a lot like something right.

FOURTEEN

Kai

For a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me.

Please kiss me.

But with a muttered curse, he released his grip and took a step back, his chest heaving with exertion and frustration. He was close to the edge. This wasn’t the time or place for him to lose his head, nor for me to push him. He had to understand why I did it, and hell, we had a job to do, and letting this get emotional and fraught would jeopardize the mission.

But it was my fault. I was the one who’d thought on my feet, but with what we had between us, all the simmering angst Zach carried inside, it was the wrong kiss at the worst possible time.

I’d acted on impulse, high on adrenalin and arousal as I held Zach against the wall, then stiffening and fighting back, a mix of frustration and defiance. The raw intensity of the moment ignited something in me, the way I curled my hands in his hair and yanked his head back when I’d kissed him, a spark of desire within him clouding my judgment as our lips met.

Fire.

But the adrenalin faded, and reality set in, and now I was confused and conflicted. I didn’t want to feel anything for Zach, with his emotions, and his kid, and the way he put thoughts of family and friendship before the mission. So why was the push to kiss him again undeniable—frustrating and a goddamn distraction? Allowing anything like lust to surface could jeopardize our partnership and compromise the mission.

But the thought of me pushing him to his knees, gripping his hair, tilting his face, watching him as he swallowed me down…

Fuck.

It had taken everything not to get off to the thought of me pushing my cock between his lips.

The stakes were too high, and distractions could prove fatal, and I couldn’t afford to let emotions get in the way.

Detach.

Do not focus on sex.

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