Page 3 of The Coveted Beta

Clara

I am supposed to be replying to my sisters’ letters, but the truth is that I find myself distracted. The letters sit before me on my dressing table. I have already read them several times, but even their happy news and talk of growing children and more babies on the way does not hold my attention the way it usually would.

The reason I left the drawing room was not to write letters nor to rest in our bedroom and be soothed by the elegant cream and forest green tones, which I love so much. I took myself away because I needed to; before I did something foolish that I would later regret. Because there is something different about Frederick tonight. Something… unguarded about him. I am sure that the terrible events that have enshrouded my entire family have undoubtedly changed him as much as they’ve affected me. He should have married my sister, Rebecca, and would have done so but for Elisa’s schemes. Frederick searched for a year only to find Rebecca living as a servant among the fallen centaurs. He offered her his protection and marriage even though she carried a centaur’s child; despite knowing it would be loveless when a centaur had already claimed her heart.

She is happy, now, living with the centaur of her dreams, far from here and my oldest sister’s cruel ways. If Frederick feels any bitterness toward the events that cost him an omega mate, none of it shows, save I know he shares my husband’s hatred for Elisa.

I have always held Frederick in high regard, placing him on a pedestal, never really acknowledging him as a man and alpha. While he searched for Rebecca, I held onto the fantasy that he might find her and return with her as his mate.

Only it didn’t work out, and now my younger sister is mated and pregnant with her second babe, while Frederick is very much alone.

From the day he returned to the capital without a mate, I have hoped for him to find his special one—I wish for him to find the happiness he deserves. But I discovered tonight that another part of me has become intrigued in him for totally selfish reasons.

Tonight, I saw a darker version of him, something that had escaped my notice before, something that is just underneath the surface. It should frighten me. And yet, it had a very different effect. As I sit at my dresser, pondering this, I ask myself when this strange feeling started. I can pinpoint the exact moment. We were dancing. And I glanced across at Alex to find him staring at us, his eyes darkening with unmistakable lust.

That heated look ignited a flame inside of me. It made me aware of things I had not been aware of before. Tonight, Frederick was not merely a friend of my husband’s, nor the man who might have gone on to mate my sister, but a handsome alpha, powerful and influential, with a sinful sense of humor and a devastating smile.

Women become scandalous in their pursuit of Frederick, whether they are married or not. I won’t be such a woman. I love my husband and have no desire to feel another man’s hands upon me.

Yet I am sure I would not be having these thoughts on my own. This is all Alex’s fault. The way he looked at us together—like he was enjoying it. I try telling myself I misinterpreted the look.

But what else could have made him look at us that way?

Maybe Alex is attracted to Frederick?

No, he wasn’t looking at his friend, per se. He was looking at his friend with me.

The second glass of wine was a mistake. I’m hot and flushed. My dress felt uncomfortable across my breasts when I fled under the pretense of letter-writing when it was really to give me time to regain composure.

Frederick is staying for several days. So I must find a way to hide this strange awakening inside me. I’ve heard of this before: how alphas can impact women, whether an omega or a beta.

None ever influenced me before, and I don’t want it now.

I wish I could wipe it away, yet the strange undercurrent of lust has me in a stranglehold as I remove my gown and brush out my hair. Afterward, I stand naked before the mirror. I know Alex loves my body, the flair of my hips, my ample ass, my generous breasts. He loves my hair, too, and often tells me I am beautiful and desirable.

He tells me he loves my ways.

But a tiny part of me remains in reserve, not willing to totally trust what he says, when I have long lived in the shadow of my sisters. Rebecca and Rosalind always had a spark of adventure and flair. As for Elisa, although she is an embittered and cruel woman, no one could dispute her fire. Then there is my other sister, Violet, a purposeful woman driven by intellect and curiosity.

I am nothing like them—any of them—and, more, I take the greatest satisfaction in being Alex’s wife. I long to be a mother, but that has not happened yet. By nature, I’m submissive and find great happiness in pleasing people. There was a time when pleasing Elisa gave me joy. Even when she began her cruelty, I continued to be kind to her hoping that my kindness might have some improving effect and counter her growing bitterness when she didn’t get with child.

Nothing I did would ever help Elisa. It was a relief when Alex announced we would be leaving the high king’s court and taking residence in the country. Our estate was a wedding gift to us from his brother: he downplayed the extent of his generosity by telling us it had been sitting unoccupied for several years.

I have fallen in love with it and the quietness here and my husband all over again. I have found that he is worthy of my loving attention, whereas Elisa is not. With him, I feel nurtured and seen.

I feel loved.

Buoyed by these warm feelings, I move over to my wardrobe to choose something different to wear to bed. Pushing aside one nightgown and then another, my fingers linger on one of the more decadent ones Alex bought for me from a distant empire. It is sheer with bows along the front that cinch the material underneath my breasts.

Yes, this perfectly fits my mood.

I slip it on. It falls to my feet, yet I might as well be naked. I stand closer to the mirror, tracing my fingers over the areolas of my nipples, visible through the material, and I shiver as the faint touch causes them to tighten.

My cheeks are a little flushed, and my eyes are bright. I’ve had a little too much to drink, perhaps. But I also believe it’s the influence of alpha scent after Frederick held me close.

I was foolish dancing with him, even though it started so innocently—right up until that look in my husband’s eyes.

As I slip into the bed, I don’t even pretend to sleep. I toy absently with my nipples, brushing my fingertips back and forth over the material, enjoying the bloom of arousal as heat and dampness gather between my thighs. They are talking very late, but I already know what I shall do the moment Alex enters the room.

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