Page 4 of Shielding Soledad

I’d never doubted it either—as in, everything had happened so fast that I’d never actually taken a minute to consider what she’d gone through. She could have made the decision to end the pregnancy, and I never would have even known. Or she could have chosen to carry the baby to term with a plan in place to let some other couple adopt him. A horrible sense of loss rolled through me. I’d only known my son a week—and I’d never expected to be a father—but I already couldn’t imagine not having Luke. That realization made my next question even more important.

“When were you planning to tell me about the pregnancy?”

“I knew you’d want to know that, too, and despite our breakup, I wanted to tell you,” she said.

“Thanks for that, but…”

“Sometimes,” she said carefully, “in situations where you feel like things are getting out of control, you have the tendency to…take over.”

I didn’t really have a response to that. The way she said it sounded like she thought it was a bad thing, but I’d always seen it as one of my strengths. When you’re a SEAL, you go into every situation knowing that it could all go FUBAR at any moment. The ability to step up and take command when everything goes to shit isn’t just useful, it’s necessary. When things fall apart, leaders step up. That’s just how it works…isn’t it?

“Okay…” I said slowly. “And that’s a…problem?”

“It is when the thing you’re trying to take over is my life, my choices. I had some things I needed to work through on my own to figure out what I wanted and what made sense for me. I needed to be solid on that before I talked to you, or I was afraid that I’d end up going along with whatever you thought was best, whether it truly was right for me or not. But then, by the time I was ready to talk…you were on a communications blackout. I sent you a message, got your auto-reply, and knew that I’d just have to wait until you were back before we could talk.”

She shrugged, as if it was no big deal. Soledad had always had a strong independent streak. It was something I’d liked about her. She’d never been clingy or possessive, which was probably why our relationship had lasted as long as it had. We’d been on-again-off-again for a while with no lasting commitment. I thought that we both preferred it that way—we could have fun together when I was in town, but when I wasn’t here, we could lead our separate lives and do whatever we wanted without anything holding us back. It had been a shock when she told me, earlier this year, that she wanted more with me—that she was ready for a real commitment. Even though I liked her a lot—more than anyone else I’d ever been with—I’d felt like I had no choice but to tell her no. Commitment was something I couldn’t give her or anyone that. Not after the way my childhood had screwed me up. When I’d told her that, she’d lifted her chin, squared her shoulders, and walked out.

“If that’s true, why are you living here?” I kept my tone neutral, not wanting to lay any accusations on her.

She sighed. “A few months after you left, my employer declared bankruptcy and closed hundreds of stores across the country, including the one here. I was able to keep my job until the merchandise was packed up and shipped to other locations that were remaining open. After that, I was out of work and obviously pregnant, which made it incredibly hard to find another job. Trust me, no one wants to hire a woman who’s going to need maternity leave right away. I was able to find some side hustles—stuff that I could do from home on a freelance basis—but it didn’t pay all that much, and it wasn’t steady. I never knew from one week to the next how much I was going to make. I started to dip into the money Mom left me. Combined with what I was bringing in, it should have been enough to get me through the pregnancy.”

She stopped, flicking away a tear with a sharp motion of her finger. Soledad wasn’t a woman prone to crying. As a matter of fact, I’d never seen her cry. Telling me this was clearly difficult for her. I could only imagine how stressed she must have been with a baby on the way and no steady job or family support.

“You don’t have to tell me any more,” I said, shoving a tissue box across the coffee table to her.

“Sorry,” she said, reaching for a tissue. “Baby hormones. I’m kind of a mess. I cried when I dressed Luke this morning, just because his outfit was so cute. I know you don’t want to deal with tears. Give me a minute and I’ll get over it.”

I had no idea what to say. Becoming a father had sent me on an emotional roller coaster. It had to be ten times more intense for the mother. I certainly wasn’t going to judge her for crying. If anyone in the world was entitled, I’d say it was her. But that didn’t mean I had any idea what to do in this situation. Dealing with women’s tears had never been my thing. If a girlfriend cried, I was out the door and unlikely to come back. Still, I couldn’t and wouldn’t walk out on Soledad or my son. And, hell, this was my house. So I waited.

“Okay, I can talk again,” she said after a minute. “Anyways, I budgeted my money and thought I had enough to last until Luke was old enough that I could return to full-time work…and then the duplex I rented was sold, and I had to move. I was seven months pregnant, without a steady income—and this town is too small to have any programs to help me. No one would rent an apartment to me. I had to face the reality that I was about to be homeless.”

“My family would have helped you,” I said. My brothers were the only two people in the world who had never disappointed me. The three of us had bonded together to survive a shitty childhood, and that bond remained tight. And ever since we’d realized our connection to the McCallisters, my cousins had gone out of their way to make it clear that they’d show up for every one of us, too. In a day-to-day sense, that mostly meant that Chance was someone I could always call on, since he was the only one of the three who lived locally, but all six of us kept in touch regularly, and I knew that Lee and Harris had my back.

Soledad knew all of that. Hell, she’d been around back when I found out about having cousins in the first place. And she knew how close we all were, knew that she could have called on any one of them and explained the situation, and they’d have done whatever they could to help. She could have had that support from day one rather than waiting until she was seven months pregnant.

“I know,” she admitted, “but I didn’t want to be a burden on anyone. All I needed was a place to live for a few months, and I still had a key. So I moved in.” She shot me a look that was part challenge and part a plea for understanding. “And then your family showed up for poker night and found out what was going on.”

“Yeah.” Her smile looked awkward. “They were pretty determined to help after that point—wouldn’t hear of me staying anywhere but here, insisted on fixing up a nursery, kept swinging by with groceries and cupcakes, had me take over the bookkeeping for Carolyn’s store and Mandy’s garage so I could have a steady income stream. They’ve been really great. You’re lucky.”

“I know,” I said, utterly honest. My parents had been awful—Dad had been an abusive drunk and Mom had been a runner, walking out and leaving all of us behind in what she knew wasn’t a safe situation—but the family I had now was rock-solid.

“They said you wouldn’t mind me living here…” she added, sounding a bit uncertain.

I was quick to reassure her. “If I’d known, I would have offered you my place right from the start. Under any circumstances, but especially with a baby coming.” My baby.

“Thanks. I banked on that, but I promise Luke and I will get out of your hair as soon as I’m back on my feet.” The dog nudged her leg. “And Frankie, too.”

“Don’t think like that,” I said. I might not have expected this, but I wasn’t the type of man to cast out my ex-girlfriend and my son. “We might not be a couple, but we have a responsibility to Luke. I want to make sure he and you are safe and cared for. This arrangement can work for as long as it needs to.” The house had once accommodated a family of five, so there was certainly plenty of space for the three of us to have separate rooms. I had no problem with ceding the master bedroom to Soledad. After all, she was already settled in there, and it was right next to the room that was now Luke’s nursery. Lee’s old room, further down the hall, would suit me just fine.

“Thanks. I appreciate that.” Her hand rested on Frankie’s head again. The dog seemed to be an integral part of her life now.

“Where does Frankie fit into all this?” Since the dog had proven herself to be loyal and friendly so far, I didn’t have an issue with her.

“Strange time to adopt a dog, I know.” She stroked Frankie’s back. “A few weeks after I moved in here, I was out for a walk,” she explained. “A car pulled up near me, and a woman got out and took a puppy from the back. She told it to sit on the sidewalk, got back in, and drove off. I called after her, but I couldn’t chase her down.”

I imagined she might have if she hadn’t been pregnant. Soledad was a dedicated runner who’d competed in distance events in both high school and college. She’d been plenty fast, challenging me when we ran together.

“I took Frankie to a shelter, and they said a lot of puppies get dumped just like that. They promised to keep her for a week and try to find a home for her—but I was told that after that, she’d be euthanized.” She swallowed hard, and I could see her blinking back more tears at the idea. “I left her there but went back before the week was up. I thought we made a good pair. We were both at difficult times in our lives. She was young and homeless, and I was pregnant and homeless. We seemed a match, and she’s a good girl. I couldn’t have left her at the shelter to die.”

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