Page 26 of Shielding Soledad

And then a slew of questions came.

“How long have you known he was after you, after us?” I demanded.

“Since about a week after I got home. I got a tip from a buddy.”

“What?” My voice rose before I forced myself to control it. “That long, and you didn’t tell me? What were you thinking?” My anger was barely in check. “Would he harm Luke?”

Alex didn’t answer for a long minute, so I stepped closer to him and poked his chest. “Answer me. Honestly.”

“Yes, if it would hurt me. And it would.” He added the last quietly. He didn’t have to tell me that harming his son would harm him, but that didn’t negate my anger.

“My God. Didn’t you think I should know about this?” I gave him another poke.

“I didn’t want you to worry.” His blue eyes met mine, emotions raw in them.

“I’m worried now,” I said. Terrified was the right word. Not for myself, but for what this man might do to my baby.

“I can protect you and Luke,” Alex insisted. “It’s why I added the security system.”

“I’d figured that out,” I snapped, then forced myself to adjust my tone. “I should have asked more questions, but I thought you were just being a cautious dad. I should have known there was something behind the sudden need for protection.”

I thought back over the past weeks, during which I’d rarely gone anywhere without Alex. He hadn’t forbidden me from going—I would have asked questions then—but just the same, he’d controlled my movements and kept Luke confined to the fenced backyard for outdoor time. The one time I’d gone out without Alex’s knowledge, my morning run and coffee stop, he’d questioned me about it later. Now I understood why. A sudden sick feeling hit me.

“What does this man look like?” I asked, remembering the man in the café.

“My size. Blond hair, hawklike nose. He was wearing a blue baseball cap when he dropped off the package. I can pull up a picture of him if you want to see.”

“I’ve seen him.”

“Where?” Alex’s posture went rigid.

“At the coffee shop, when I went for a run a few days ago. He looked me over, and then I saw his car parked on our street.”

Alex swore under his breath. “Did he say anything to you?”

“No. I wish I’d known to be on my guard. A little honesty would have helped.”

“I can protect you,” he repeated. “I will protect you.”

I didn’t doubt that, but I hated the fact that he hadn’t told me. I was opening my mouth to voice that again when the horrible truth hit me. This was why Alex hadn’t returned to active duty: he could only protect me and Luke by sticking close by. He wasn’t with us because of his attachment to me and Luke but because he felt obligated to protect us from the danger he’d indirectly caused. I backed away from him and sank down on the couch, dropping my face into my hands.

“Soledad,” he said after a moment’s silence. “Talk to me.”

I wanted to snap back at him that he hadn’t talked to me, but I had a bigger concern. “You stayed home because of this,” I said, accusing him, “didn’t you?”

“Of course I did. I couldn’t leave you and Luke exposed,” he said with the conviction of a man sure that he’d done the right thing.

He sounded like he thought that was noble. And looking at it from his perspective, maybe it was. He’d sacrificed the career he loved for us. But it wasn’t that simple, my heart told me. He’d stayed not because he wanted a relationship with me, not because he wanted us to be a family, but because of an external threat. I fought back the sob rising in my throat, forcing myself to be calm. I had to see this conversation through.

“I thought you wanted to be with me. And Luke,” I said. “I thought you’d changed. But you haven’t. You’re the same man I broke up with a year ago, aren’t you?” I looked at him, but he stood as still as a statue, completely unlike himself. “Dammit, I didn’t want to believe that. I wanted so much to think you were with me because you…because you loved me. I told myself that’s why you made love to me. I suppose I hoped you wanted us to be together as much as I did. I feel so stupid.” I shook my head, remembering all the lies I’d allowed myself to believe. “I guess I didn’t learn my lesson the first time around with you. Joke’s on me.”

“I’m leaving on a mission soon,” he said after a minute of silence, a minute in which I berated myself for falling into the same trap twice.

“Of course you are.” I didn’t even try to keep the bitterness from my tone.

“Before I go,” he continued, “I need to see you safely settled somewhere away from here. I was thinking you and Luke could stay with your aunt in Philadelphia for a while, until this is settled.”

“You want me to leave town—leave the state?” This was unreal. What else was he going to reveal to me? Because my ability to process the unexpected was down to nothing.

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