Page 22 of Shielding Soledad

I settled Luke more comfortably against me so he faced his daddy, too. I couldn’t be sure what my baby saw, but I knew what I did. Alex’s thigh muscles bulged. I followed the muscles up to where they disappeared under the navy shorts, and from there to his tight glutes. Even under the fabric I could see the power there. As if he suspected I was watching, he pulled off his T-shirt, casually tossing it aside and giving me an opportunity to admire his pecs, the width of his shoulders, the muscles of his back, and the narrow line of his hips.

I’d spent years on track teams in high school and college exposed to great male bodies, but Alex’s was the best. Runners were lean and lanky, good in their own way but not really anything to write home about. But Alex…

“Yum,” I said softly, forgetting how good his hearing was. He swung his gaze to me. Uh-oh. Busted.

“Something I can do for you?” he asked with the devil-may-care grin I loved so much.

“Don’t mind me,” I called, giving him an innocent smile, eyes wide. “Just enjoying being outside.”

“Yeah, right,” he countered. “You’re checking me out.”

“Nonsense. Why would I do that?” Why would I, when I knew every inch of his physique? I’d run my hands and my mouth over much of it just that morning. Luke slept a little longer each night, and I was grateful for that extra time. Not that I was using it to sleep.

“Because you can’t get enough of me.” He stalked toward me. His tanned skin was highlighted by a thin layer of perspiration, making him even sexier. So sexy that if I didn’t have a baby on my lap, I’d do something about the hormones pinging through my system. Right there in the backyard.

“You have an exaggerated opinion of yourself,” I said, sucking in a breath when he reached me, leaned over, and rested his hands on the arms of my chair. His position was both intimate and exciting.

“Do I? Maybe we should ask this guy about that. He can be an impartial judge.” Alex dropped to one knee in front of me. I knew it was to bring him eye level with our baby, but a moment of anticipation rolled through me. He was posed like a man offering a proposal. I’d say yes—I’d say yes in a heartbeat and work out the details later. I felt a flush creep up my cheeks that had nothing to do with the warm day. As much as I knew Alex wouldn’t ask me to marry him, the thought of it made me tingle everywhere.

“Luke, was your mama checking me out?” Alex’s attention focused on the baby. Luke smacked his little hands together and made a happy baby squeal. Alex chuckled. “That’s what I thought. Good man.”

“He’s just happy to see his daddy,” I pointed out. “Not a fair way to judge.”

“You could just admit it,” he said. “You think I’m sexy.”

My lips twitched, part of me longing to tell him how much he meant to me, but that would end the easy flirtation. Soon I would tell him and wait for his reaction, no matter what it was, but not today. Today was about being happy.

“Go back to work,” I told him.

“While you lounge?” he teased, rocking back on his heels.

“While I care for our son,” I corrected.

His expression changed. It was almost tender and a little vulnerable. Should I say what I was feeling? Before I could speak, he rose, pivoted like a man in a Mr. Universe pageant, and strutted back to the shrub he was transplanting.

Had I lost an opportunity or inched my way one step closer to a future with him? I didn’t know. I stroked Luke’s silky hair and dropped a kiss on the top of his head. If, together, Alex and I could make something so perfect, couldn’t we be perfect together?

I sighed and settled back in my chair. Maybe we could.

Alex

I went back to work, transferring the plants I’d potted just weeks ago into the ground. I had a vision in my head of what the yard could be. I needed shade for Luke, a good place to put a playset, maybe expand the grill that was already in place so that we could have a more elaborate barbeque setup for the next time I found myself hosting a family barbeque. I gently packed dirt around the roots of an azalea, admitting to myself that my plans for the yard all suggested one thing: I was staying. The decision to retire from the SEALs had been on my mind, but it was no longer the source of stress it had been. I knew what that meant. I was close to making a decision, close to leaving a life I’d loved that had presented me with the ultimate challenge—in favor of one that fulfilled me in another way.

I glanced toward Soledad. Her head was bent over Luke as she kissed him. This could be a good life, too. I wasn’t sure I was ready for it, but I couldn’t imagine being away from them for months at a time without any communication. What if something happened? What if Luke became ill? Kids did. I knew that. Soledad would have to manage everything herself. She could, of course. She was plenty tough and resilient. She’d proven that during her pregnancy.

She’d be okay without me. So would my garden. I could put in a modern irrigation system if I decided to re-enlist. Everything would survive. Ultimately, nothing was contingent on me physically being there. I simply wanted to be. I wanted to see my plants flower almost as much as I wanted to be around when Luke cut his first teeth and took his first steps.

I had a little time left on my leave, hopefully enough to deal with Bruce and come to a final decision. I heaved another shrub into a hole I’d dug, letting myself enjoy the work, focusing all my energy on that and letting the rest drop away.

The day grew hotter, the sun becoming more intense on my shoulders. In the background, I could hear Soledad singing to Luke. Just as I placed the last shrub, I heard the distant chime of the front doorbell. My phone chirped simultaneously. I dug it out of my pocket, knowing that the motion-sensitive camera on the front door would have been triggered. Sure enough, my phone’s screen lit up with an image. I moved to the shade of the back porch to see it more clearly, my warning senses firing.

“Do you want me to get that?” Soledad asked, half rising from her chair.

“No.” My answer was terse as I studied the screen.

A man wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap pulled low was putting a package down on the step. The man turned quickly, razor sharp and precise, and strode off down the sidewalk. But I had seen enough. I’d lived with and worked alongside Bruce, day in and day out for months at a time. After so much time spent basically on top of each other, I could recognize any of my teammates by the tiniest detail. A gesture, a whispered word, the shape of their faces even in near darkness. I had no doubt who’d left the package.

I considered sprinting around the house to confront Bruce, but the package had me nervous, had me staying with Soledad and Luke.

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