Page 86 of The Lies We Tell Ourselves

“Here.” A cold metal straw pressed up against my lips. “Drink this, Jamie, it’ll help. Just focus on taking little sips, okay?”

I gulped down a few mouthfuls of cool water and it eased the tension that had suddenly ripped through me. With each swallow, I came back to myself and was able to order my thoughts properly. “H-he propositioned me and h-he touched?—”

“He did what?!” Levi cried in outrage and started pacing in front of me, waving his hands around frantically. “I mean, I’ve heard rumors, but I’ve never known… I’ve never…” He shook his head and knelt at my feet, taking my hand in his.

“I-it’s okay, he didn’t tou… Dillon was there, he…” I bit my lip and silenced my words. I didn’t know what he did after I left, but he took care of me, and that was all that mattered. He was my very own hero. No, that wasn’t right. I knew he’d burn the world down to save me. That made Dillon my villain, and I loved him for it. Every possessive touch and word just did it for me, in a way nothing else ever has. It was him. It was always him and always would be.

“Good. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m glad that oaf was there.”

I barked a laugh and slapped his shoulder. “Dillon is anything but.” I sighed, probably with hearts in my eyes even though they stung with tears I refused to let fall. I was stronger than that; nothing happened. It just shook me that Derek was so brazen. The full room didn’t deter him in the slightest. I shuddered at the thought.

“He’s a beast on the field, and I bet he is in the bedroom too!” I gasped as Levi wiggled his eyebrows. “Some of those players are amazing, especially when they’re throwing you around the room.” He sighed, fanning himself.

I cocked my head to the side, eyeing him with suspicion. “And who on the team have you ‘exercised’ with?” I used my fingers to make air quotes as a teasing grin lifted my lips. Levi bent over double, clutching an arm over his stomach as he laughed at me. With me? Who knows.

“Jesus, Jamie, you’re too much,” he wheezed. “Anyway, I’m a good boy—I don’t kiss and tell. Most of them are so far in the closet, they’re not ready to be discussed like this.”

My shoulders slumped, and I nodded, because I got it more than he knew. “Yeah. I totally get that. I think that was a massive part of the issues Dil and I had.” I rolled my bottom lip between my teeth. “But now, I think we’ve come through that. I’ve seen all his ugly parts, and I know all his mistakes. I know he’s sorry for what happened.”

“You mean siccing his friends and everyone else on you?” The serious look on his face told me he didn’t approve one bit.

“Yeah. That. But,” I held up my finger as he sucked in a sharp inhale like he was about to speak. “It came from a place of fear—I’m sure you can understand?” Levi’s eyes dropped to the floor, and he scuffed his boot against my chair. When he looked back up at me, his eyes swam with painful memories.

“I totally do. Growing up, I always knew I was different. I always liked boys. Girls were pretty to look at and all, and I love them, but boys...ugh, their muscled arms. Forearm porn is a thing, and if anyone tells you differently, they’re lying.” He snorted and smirked as I rolled my eyes. “And dick. You can’t beat dick.”

“I guess not. Dil’s is?—”

Levi slapped his hand over my mouth, so I licked it. “You can not tell me about your man’s dick!” The outrage in his voice buoyed my spirits even more. “That man is a beast. His arms. Oh my god! His ass, damn…that thing looks like it’s carved from marble.” I snickered and finished my drink as Levi drooled over Dillon. I was surprised I didn’t feel a hint of jealousy, because I did daily when people looked at him. But with Levi? Nothing.

“Oh it is, and his dic?—”

“Shut up! I can’t take this,” Levi whined and placed his hand on his forehead like a dramatic fainting maiden. “I bet it’s goddamn perfect, isn’t it? Thick and long, hits all the right places when he’s pounding?—”

“Now it’s your turn to shut up.” Heat flushed from my chest to the tips of my ears. I blew out a heavy breath and smiled. “Thank you, Levi.”

He wrapped his arms around me, giving me a tight squeeze. “I’ve got you. Doesn’t mean I’m not insanely jealous you bagged the second hottest guy in school.”

“Only second?”

“Yeah, in my eyes anyway. You two make the hottest couple though. Chad and Elise have nothing on you.” He cupped his hand over my ear and whispered, “Just don’t tell her that. I can’t lose my runner for the night.”

I blinked up at him in confusion. That bitch was here? Thank every star in the sky I hadn’t seen her. She made my skin crawl. It made me so damn angry the way she’d acted all proprietarily over Dillon, the way she clung to him and touched him all the time, even though a blind person could have seen he wasn’t into her.

“Ten minutes, you two,” Kaileigh said as she scampered past, wheeling a loaded clothes rail. “Justin is waiting in makeup for the final look. I suggest getting it on before you see him.”

I looked over at Levi’s large grin and narrowed my eyes. “This is the only outfit you haven’t shown me. Why is that?”

Levi blushed—something I didn’t even think was possible for him—and sighed, plopping down in the vacant seat next to mine. “One, because I only finished it this morning, and two, because it is the most sensual thing I’ve ever created, and I designed it with you in mind.”

“It’s in the changing area.” Kaileigh scurried past with a beaming smile on her face before I could question him further about it.

“I really want to know, but I also like that it’s a surprise.” I chuckled half-heartedly as my heart rate picked up and sweat slicked my palms. This was what excitement felt like; a drop of anticipation and a dash of trepidation. I’d never thought I would walk in a fashion show, let alone wear the design his collection centered around. But to find out he’d designed it with me in mind, before he’d even asked me to model, felt like an honor I couldn’t refuse.

“Everyone will want you after this, and I don’t doubt there are a few straight men questioning themselves after seeing you out there tonight.” I hummed in agreement, but I didn’t care—I only had eyes for one man. As long as he liked what he saw, it didn’t matter what anyone else thought. This was just some fun for me, but for Levi, it counted toward his final grade, and I would never let him down.

“It’s an honor to be the last to walk, to close the show, Jamie. And considering this was your first time?” He shook his head. “You’ve shone like the brightest star in the sky. I hope you’ve enjoyed it.”

“Oh my god, don’t.” I fanned my hand in front of my face as tears pricked my eyes. “You’re getting me all emotional. How dare you!” Levi smiled and held out a hand for me. Thank god he did, because my legs felt like Jell-O under the weight of expectation. What if this outfit looked dreadful on me? What if I fell on my face and made an ass out of myself?

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