Page 93 of The Lies We Tell Ourselves

“What’s the plan, Dillon?”

I looked at B and realized I couldn’t put him in the position of getting injured. I didn’t care about myself. If I went down trying to save Jamie, it was well worth it. But I wouldn’t risk anyone else.

“When we know for certain that he’s there, I want you to run to Bean There and tell them where we are. Don’t let them shoot me.” I swallowed down the thought that I might already be a dead man walking. My last few breaths tasted like ash in my mouth. Mr. Abernathy hated me on principle, and nothing and no one could dissuade him from something once he’d made his mind up. But I knew I could use his rage against him, force him to make mistakes as I backed him into a corner he couldn’t get out of.

“Dillon…”

“No, Taylor. I need you to do this for me, okay?” I wrapped my arms around the guy I’d come to realize was my best friend and bit back a fresh wave of tears. I blinked them away before looking into his watery eyes, the muted light from the parking lot glittering in them. “Please?”

“You got it, Cap.”

We crouched down low as we ran behind the tennis courts and across the field to where Jerry’s shed stood at the edge of the woods. A rasping guttural cry filtered through the cracked open window. I spun on my feet and grabbed his arm. “Be safe. Look over your shoulder until you hear from me again. We dont know if this fucker is on his own or not.” B nodded and squeezed my shoulder before helping me through the rotting window frame. “Good. Now go!”

Jamie’s muted cries grew louder the farther into the space I went. My breath caught when I saw him. I had to blink to make sure it was real. Jamie’s wrists were bound with thick rope that was suspended across the wooden beam pulling them up. The strained tension in his arms was apparent. His toes skimmed the cement floor, swinging in a pool of dark liquid. His torn shirt lay in tattered pieces on the couch behind him, and cuts and bruises bloomed across his skin. But it was the blood trickling down his sliced torso that locked my feet in place. The metallic scent of copper, sweat, and urine permeated the air.

Please be okay. Look at me, little crow. I’ll spend every second of every day worshiping you, if you just lift your head and look at me. Please, Jamie. Breathe. Our story doesn’t end here.

“Jamie, please.” I crouched down behind a shelf filled with old paint cans, moving them a little so I could see. Jamie froze, his muscles clenched in fear, his mouth twisted in a grimace. Out of nowhere, something lanced across his skin. The sound of it slicing through his flesh was now etched into my memories. Jamie’s cries were the worst thing I’d ever heard.

“You fucking little faggot. Just as bad as your whore mother.” Mr. Abernathy stepped out of the shadows. “Disgusting,” he spat and raised his arm for another strike. I retched silently, bile pouring from between my lips. I spat it out and wiped the back of my hand across my face.

I glanced around, looking for something I could use as a weapon. If I could get close enough to that vile excuse for a human, I’d use every ounce of my rage to take him out. Something metallic crashed on the floor, the sound shattering the silence. I crawled toward a tool box and pulled out a hammer and a couple of wrenches. These would have to do.

Jamie screamed as a low thud echoed in the enclosed space. I swear I heard something crack. My heart was beating its way out of my chest, my breathing nothing but shallow pants. But I felt a wave of calmness wash over me as I prepared to strike.

Metal dragged across the cement floor like an old horror film. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end as a metal baseball bat glinted in the moonlight coming through the far window. Mr. Abernathy looked like a bloated pile of shit. He was drenched in sweat, and the scent of his body odor grew stronger by the second.

“I don’t know how you two managed to evade me for so long.” His guttural laugh was unnatural. “But now your time is up. Any last words?” He lifted Jamie’s head with the tip of the bat.

“Fuck you, old man. I love him. I fucking love him, and even if you kill me now, I’ll love him until I’m nothing but a memory.”

“You make me sick. You piece of filth. You dirty little faggot.” He raised the bat above his head as I charged at him with a roar. The sound of metal hitting bone rang out just as I let the hammer fly into the back of his skull. The sickening crunch made my stomach churn, but it was the splatter of blood over my face that made me jump back and expel the contents of my stomach.

“Shit. Jamie? Little crow?” I clambered over the lump of lard at my feet and cupped Jamie’s face, brushing my thumbs over his cheeks. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I whimpered. “Jamie? Baby? Please look at me.”

Nothing. He was stone cold and immobile. My hands flittered over his body, down his sides, over his chest. Trembling fingers searched for a pulse, but I couldn’t find one as he hung limply by his arms.

“Jamie?” I cried and wrapped my hands around his hips, lifting him to remove the pressure on his arms. The scent of urine grew stronger, but I didn’t care. I just needed him back. “Jamie?!” Hot wetness engulfed my fingers. “Oh fuck. Oh fuck.”

I clung to him and cried from all the time we’d lost over the last five years. For all the time I took from us over the last few months, and all the time the grunting sack of shit has taken from our future.

“I’ll fucking kill you if you’ve taken him from me,” I roared until my voice was nothing but a rasp. “I’ll fucking kill you!”

CHAPTER

THIRTY-NINE

JAMIE

“Come back to me, little crow. You can’t leave me.”

The drugging darkness had sunk its claws into me, and no matter how much I fought its hold, it didn’t want to let me go. It was like I was fighting against a riptide, expending all my energy to get away, but it just dragged me back into the depths. Indistinct images and memories flickered through the darkness, but I couldn’t discern if they were real or part of a fractured illusion.

Snippets of conversations and phantom touches had me clinging to the hope that I would find my way out of this rabbit hole and back to myself. I didn’t want to give in to it, even though it felt like the easiest thing to do. My heart burned to be reunited with its other half, and as trapped as I was, I didn’t forget him. He was the anchor I was searching for, and the one thing that could tether me and bring me back.

“Can anyone hear me?” I screamed into the dark void, but there was only silence. Always present and unending. It was suffocating, and I… I…

“How much longer is he going to be like this?” Agony stained every word.

---