Page 64 of The Lies We Tell Ourselves

“I’m not sure you do, Jamie.” His voice grew deeper and sterner with every word. “Your father was seen at Clara’s old house. The. One. You. Lived. In!”

“I know. I heard you, but I’m not there anymore. I left nothing behind. Your team swept the place and did a deep clean. Nothing would have been left behind for him to trace us with.”

“That’s true, but?—”

“You also said you had the school records wiped. So again, there’s nothing there.” He sighed again. A loud thud echoed down the phone line, making me jump. “Did you just hit something?”

“You’re driving me crazy, you little shit.” I could hear his smirk in his voice as he chastised me.

“I know I do.” I carded my hands through my damp hair, pulling it hard enough to hurt. I wanted to scream and cry. To punch something. I wanted to fight for once and not have to run. I wanted to be brave, but I felt like a coward.

Guilt weighed heavily on me for taking my frustration out on him. It wasn’t Uncle Daire’s fault I’d spent the last five years in witness protection, running from my dad. It wasn’t his fault that I’d never been able to stay in one place long enough to make real friends and have a life that didn’t involve looking over my shoulder. But I did now. I had so much more. And what he just told me made it feel like my chance at a life was about to be ripped away again.

“I know it’s hard, Jamie. I really do. But this i my job?—”

“And it’s my FUCKING LIFE!” I shouted loud enough for anyone in the corridor to have heard me. The tears I’d been trying to hold back burst free, carving agony into my flushed skin. “I just… I… want it to be over.” A wave of exhaustion washed over me, and my eyes fluttered closed.

“I know, kid. This has been a long time coming, but it’s good news.”

“How the hell is this good news, Uncle Daire?”

“He’s slipped up, Jamie. We’ve seen him. That means we can track him and finally put the fucker behind bars for what he put you and your mom through. God rest her soul.”

“Yeah. But…” I licked my lips, tasting the salt of my tears on them as words failed me. It all felt so pointless. It turned out my dad was good at hiding, so good he deserved a medal. In the last five years, there’d been six sightings of him. The last one was after Mom’s funeral, and that was two years ago.

“It’ll be over soon kid, I promise.”

“I hope s-so, ‘cause I’m not sure how much longer I can live like this without going insane.”

“I know, kid. Trust me, I do.”

“I do trust you. It’s just?—”

“I know.” His mournful tone made me want my mom. I wanted to cry in her arms and have her run her fingers through my hair and tell me it was all going to be alright. My mom had a super power—she could fix anything—and oh, how I needed her strength right now.

“She’d be so damn proud of who you’ve become, Jamie.” How did he know I was thinking of her? “Just keep the burner with you at all times, alright? I’m sending some boys your way to watch over you.” My breath hitched at the thought Dad might finally be ready to carry out what he threatened all those years ago. “I won’t let it come to that. I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Uncle Daire.”

“I don’t intend to break this one, JJ. Look I’ve gotta go, kid. Keep safe and keep your wits about you. Take care.”

“Holy shit, angel! I’m so fucking sorry you’re going through this.” Ava sat with her legs crossed at the end of my bed. Tears pooled in her eyes as her hand cupped her mouth, shock written across her features.

“Now I get why you always changed the subject when I asked about your family.” Mal hiccuped a sob and wrapped his arm tighter around my shoulders. Thank god we were leaning against my headboard. If I’d have been standing, my legs would have buckled, and I’d have collapsed.

This had been the most painful conversation I’d ever had to have with someone who wasn’t family, who hadn’t heard about it first-hand from my mom. Having to witness their reactions gutted me. I was terrified they’d look at me differently. Judge me. Fear me. Recognize what being around me now represented.

I sucked in a shuddering breath and dried my eyes with the back of my trembling hand. “S-so, now you can see why I don’t really feel up to going to the Halloween party.”

“Oh, angel.”

“JJ, we completely understand. Do you want us to stay in with you?” Ava nodded as Mal spoke.

“N-no,” I rasped. Mal reached over and grabbed my water off my desk. The cool liquid felt amazing as it soothed my sore throat. “I don’t want my life to impact yours. I don’t want to be a burden or put you in danger any more than I already have.”

“JJ, you’re not a burden.”

I felt like one. What college kid wanted a friend like me? I reached up and squeezed Mal’s hand where it rested on my shoulder. “Go! Go have fun and then fill me in later.”

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