Page 49 of The Lies We Tell Ourselves

“Fuck. You taste like heaven, little crow,” I cooed as I fucked two fingers into his greedy hole. “I can’t wait to feel your walls squeeze my cock to death.” His answering moan was everything I’d dreamed of. “But right now, I want you to come on my tongue.”

“Yesss.”

“Fuck yourself on my tongue, baby. Imagine it’s my cock and come on my face before I paint my release on your back.”

“I-I’m close, D—” I stole his voice as I sunk my tongue back into his tight wet heat. I slipped my hand between his legs, and his walls tightened to the point of breaking my fingers. He screamed my name as his release consumed him. My hand cupped his pulsing length, and his hot cum seeped through the lacy material. I groaned into him as his body locked up tight, his taste intensified as he convulsed, pleasure stealing him away. I continued to wring his orgasm out of him until he went slack and collapsed back into me.

He slipped down the wall, flushed red, panting, and looking utterly fucked out. His eyes were glazed, and his mouth was a perfect little O. He collapsed against me, his eyes fluttering as he slowly came back into his body.

“Welcome back, beautiful.” I leaned in and kissed him. The gentle brush of lips turned feral as he devoured my mouth and moaned when he tasted himself on me like it was manna from heaven.

I pulled back, breaking our life-affirming kiss when dark spots danced across my vision, and my lungs screamed. Hauling myself up on my knees, my release barreled down my spine, electrifying every nerve in my body. One stroke, two, then the world went dark as my orgasm consumed my body and soul. It was like I was watching from outside my body as the first rope of my cum landed on his glistening face. Jamie opened his mouth as I continued to work my length in tight hard stokes, imagining I was coming deep inside him as I painted his face and mouth with my seed.

He licked his face, chasing the cum that dripped down his features before the water washed it off like it was his last meal. My spent dick gave an appreciative twitch, but I was out for the count. “Wow,” I breathed against his lips before I licked into his mouth. Our combined taste sent me back to heaven as I wrapped my arms around him.

“Fuck, that was…”

“Yeah,” I agreed and got to my feet, pulling him up with me. I locked my knees so we didn’t land in a boneless heap on the shower floor. “Now that I’ve made you into a filthy little whore, I need to clean you up. Then, I’m going to wrap you in my clothes and put you to bed.” Jamie whimpered against my lips, and I kissed him into submission. What I wouldn’t give for it to be my bed he slept in.

Soon, I promised myself. Soon. My little crow would be mine in every way. Even if it killed me, I’d make him mine.

CHAPTER

TWENTY

JAMIE

“Hey, JJ, could you grab my mail for me? I want to jump in the shower before we head out.” Mal’s muffled voice came through the closed en suite door, and a sigh slipped past my lips as I slumped against the wall.

“Sure thing.” I pulled myself together and rapped my knuckles on the door before swiping his mailbox key off his desk and headed downstairs. I’d never believed in curses but given everything that has happened over the last five years, I’m starting to think they’re real. I thought I was strong enough to withstand even the most violent storm, but I’m not sure I’m strong enough to survive the rest of the year.

If it was just the students I had to deal with, maybe I would be okay, but it was the invasive photos that were unraveling my fraying nerves. It started off with four photos on my first week that were slipped under my door in an unmarked black envelope, but now they appeared almost every day. It was only a matter of time until Mal stumbled across one. I was amazed he hadn’t yet. I had a box buried at the bottom of my closet filled with them. In the last few days, they’d taken on a more sinister edge. Whoever sent them scratched out my eyes and mouth with a sharp tool that tore through the paper. The creep factor pushed my anxiety to the brink, and I constantly felt like I was looking over my shoulder.

How someone could hate me enough to slowly torture me into a mental breakdown was beyond me. I’d been tempted to go to the faculty about the photos, but after the blood bomb debacle, I worried I’d be laughed out of there and called an attention seeker. I’m not. All I wanted was the chance to live my life on my own terms, but that seemed like a pipe dream. However, the thought of going to Uncle Daire made me feel like a failure, like a scared little boy who was haunted by the atrocities of his abusive missing dad. I didn’t want to even entertain that rabbit hole. So instead, I stayed silent, bottled it up, and locked it away to face another day. I was the one people turned to when things got tough. I was the one who made people smile. They didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with my problems.

I was fine. Fine! I’d keep saying it until it was true. Fake it till you make it and all that.

The soft ding of the elevator pulled me from my musings and the bright morning light greeted me as I stepped out into the main lobby of the building. It was surprisingly busy for not quite ten a.m. on a Saturday. Unless you were into sports, most students stayed in bed till the afternoon. I found it amusing to watch people and try to work out what they were up to or where they were going. It was clear to see who was doing the shuffle of shame. They staggered around in last night’s rumpled clothes, and someone was even missing a shoe. A shoe?! A few of the girls still had the remnants of their makeup on and resembled someone from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. The men, however, seemed to have taken on a ridiculous swagger.

I tried not to laugh—but failed miserably—as one guy stumbled right into the closed elevator doors. I buried my face in my phone and hurried over to the wall filled with boxes where our mail was stored. It always reminded me of a mausoleum with its many rows of locked metal doors. I searched for Mal’s name and opened his first, pulling out a number of envelopes wedged between a stack of junk mail. I tossed the leaflets into the nearby trash can before slipping the envelopes into my bag.

The key got jammed in mine and took a while to get it to open, but it eventually gave way. I hadn’t looked in mine since I’d started because I knew Aunt Clara hadn’t sent anything. But curiosity got the better of me today, and it was the perfect way to waste time while Mal used up the hot water for the whole floor. As expected, it was full of crap too, which I dumped in the trash. But when I went to close it, something hidden in the back corner caught my eye. I reached in and pulled out a small black box.

Bile burned the back of my throat, and a buzzing filled my ears. My hands shook so hard the box slipped through my fingers and landed on the floor with an ominous thud. My legs felt like jelly, and my knees buckled as I stumbled backward, crashing into the stair rail. I gripped on to it and used it to lower myself onto the bottom step. “What. The. Hell.” I braced my elbows on my knees and sunk my fingers into my hair as I flushed hot and cold. Perspiration beaded on my brow and trickled down my spine. My breaths sawed in and out of my lungs, fueled by my erratic heartbeat as I tried to ground myself, but I knew there was nothing I could do to stop the oncoming panic attack.

“Here, take this,” a quiet voice said as a brown paper bag appeared in front of me. I grabbed it with shaky hands and held it over my mouth. I flinched when a cool hand landed on my back. “That’s it, just breathe in and out. In and out.”

I tried as hard as I could, but my breaths stuttered and caught in my throat, making breathing impossible. It felt like razor-tipped vines were coiling around my legs, and the walls were closing in.

“Hey. Hey, look at me.” The soft voice got sharper, more commanding, but I was trapped and couldn’t move. Cold fingers pushed my chin up until I was blindly staring at a shadow. “That’s it, Jamie, look at me. Focus on me. I’ve got you. Now, I want you to listen carefully. Don’t think about anything else, just do as I say.”

I latched onto the authoritative voice and made it the sole focus of my narrow world. It took time, but I was able to take control of my body, and my breathing slowed down enough for me to fill my lungs. The pressure surrounding my throat ceased, and even though it was still raw and every breath burned, I came back to myself.

“There you go. How are you feeling?” I shook my head to clear the spots from my hazy vision and gasped when I saw who was crouched down in front of me.

“C-Cory?”

His smile lit up his face brighter than his fiery hair. “Surprised it’s me?” He chuckled and shifted to sit on the stairs, his back to the wall facing me. Cory pulled his left knee up to his chest and braced his arm across it. I was worried I’d see judgment in his eyes, but I saw nothing but compassion.

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