Page 23 of The Lies We Tell Ourselves

“Yeah, you can say that again. The guy is a bit of a legend around here.” She snorted. “Shame he doesn’t teach the arts,” she said, flashing me a bright smile. “I snuck into one of his lectures when I was a freshman just to see what all the fuss was about, and I mean, the guy is hot. Older, like late thirties, I think. He’s got that refined air about him and always dresses in a three-piece suit.” She leaned in closer. “Some of the jocks here could take a page out of his playbook, if you know what I mean.”

I didn’t really, but I just chuckled with her. Her light laugh was infectious like that. “Well, at least I’ll know he’s the one in a suit.” I cracked a smile and finished my latte, already feeling lighter than when I got up. Ava was like a rainbow fairy godmother, and she didn’t even know it.

“But in all seriousness,” she said around a mouthful of burrito. “He’s as straight as they come.” I choked and swallowed that last mouthful down the wrong way. “Not like that.” She whacked my arm. “Well, I mean he is, but that’s not what I meant. He calls a spade a spade, but he’s passionate about his subject. He even made me consider doing one of his courses, and I’m here for the creative arts program.”

“I guess that explains your flare.”

“Totes. Why live life in the gray?” She turned her dark eyes to me, and the weight of her gaze made me squirm.

“Uh oh,” I muttered. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you know something I don’t but should.”

Her hands landed on my shoulders, pinning me in place. “Maybe I do? Maybe I see that you’re hiding yourself away, burying your truth.” Who the hell was this girl? I’d only known her for a few days, and it was like she could see right through me.

“I…I…” I lost my voice and tried to swallow around the lump in my throat. Ava made me feel vulnerable and exposed, but ironically, also safe. There was this softness to her, an inherent goodness that had me wanting to rip open the vault doors and lay my secrets at her feet. But I didn’t. I couldn’t.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, three short bursts. It was my alarm reminding me I had twenty minutes to get to my first lecture. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I cleared the alarm and glanced at the notifications. I had messages from Mal and Aunt Clara. I opened Mal’s first.

Mal

Good luck today! You’ll be fine.

Thanks. Hope I didn’t wake you?

Mal

*smiley face emoji* Nah, all good! Wanna meet for lunch?

Sure.

Mal

Sweet. Text me when you’re out.

Will do.

I flicked to the thread with Aunt Clara.

Auntie C

Good luck today, JJ. She’s proud of you.

Emotions I wasn’t prepared for slammed into me, knocking me off center as a cool breeze lifted my curls. It felt like Mom was there with me, holding me, soothing me like she used to when I was younger. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, catching the tears that clung to my lashes before replying.

Thank you.

Just as I sent through my reply, a photo popped up in the thread of Jessie holding a cardboard sign with the words WE LOVE YOU, JAMIE!!! MISS YOU! surrounded by millions of little hearts.

Miss you too, sunbeam. Will call you when I’m done for the day.

Aunt Clara

Sounds good, kid. Love you *heart emoji*

Love you guys too.

---