Page 10 of The Lies We Tell Ourselves

“Uh, Ava?”

“Yes?” She giggled, squeezing me even tighter.

“Umm, do you think you could release me?” I croaked, hardly able to breathe.

I felt more than heard her sigh. “Sure, I can,” she sulked. “I just love hugs. Sowwy.”

“It’s, umm… all good. Let’s have a seat and get to know each other while Mal gets our drinks?”

“Is he getting me one?”

“I, uh. I don’t know.” I shrugged.

“Mal!” Ava shouted so loud the café fell silent. “I want a double chocolate espresso.” Mal’s face lit up with a giant grin, even though he shook his head as he added another drink to the order being taken by the goth girl behind the counter. “Sooo, new bestie to be. How you doin’?”

“Did you just Joey me?”

Ava snickered. “Hell, yes!” She held her hand up for a high five, and I rolled my eyes while giving her exactly what she wanted. “Wasn’t so hard, was it?” She nudged me under the table with her foot. “We’ll look after you sweet summer child, don’t you worry.” Her words were infused with a confidence I didn’t possess. I wanted to believe her, but I spent my entire life waiting for the other shoe to drop. It was only a matter of time—I couldn’t outrun my past forever.

CHAPTER

FIVE

DILLON

My five-thirty alarm wrenched me from a fitful sleep. My eyes were dry and crusted with grit as I blinked awake, and my room slowly came into focus. It was our last weekend off before the semester started, but I couldn’t sleep the day away no matter how much I might have wanted to. I’d been off kilter since moving in day for the underclassmen. It was like the world was spinning in one direction, and I was falling in another. I hated feeling out of control. It had me feeling untethered and unsure, and I didn’t have time for that shit. I was nothing if not single-mindedly focused.

I had to lead the team to the state championships, and I had to get scouted. Getting an agent and getting drafted was my goal. Nothing else mattered apart from that. My dad fought for me, pushed me harder than any parent should push their kid. But being drafted also offered me an escape route and a chance to live my life for myself and not be weighed down by the expectations of everyone else. Dad, Mom, Coach, my teammates, school. Of course, there would be expectations of whatever team I made it on to, but that would at least be my choice. I’d have control of my life for once, and that was something I’d never had.

The cold water of the shower power blasted my skin and rinsed away the sleepy cobwebs that still clung to my mind. It sharpened my focus and allowed me to get in the zone for my workout. Ten minutes later, I was dressed in black athletic shorts, a gray tank, and a backward baseball cap all with the Briar U Ravens crest on them. I was a walking billboard for Briar U, but I didn’t really care. The gear was top quality and it helped us gain extra sponsorship that could be invested from our training team up.

It should have been eerie walking through the doors into the deserted state-of-the-art gym in the basement of our dorm building. The sensor lights flickered to life the moment I stepped into the pitch-black room, the machines humming quietly while the fans and A/C clicked on. No matter how hard they worked, the stench of musk and sweat was ingrained into every surface. It was gross, yet comforting. This place was more like home to me than anywhere else had been in the last five years. Ever since everything fell apart after we…

“Fuck that,” I muttered to myself and locked the unwelcome thought down. I stepped on the treadmill, put in my AirPods, and started a gentle jog to warm my muscles up before stretching and hitting the weights.

I should have woken the rest of the team up and dragged their hungover asses out of bed—even if it was our only weekend off for the foreseeable future—but I valued the peace of working out on my own. I loved to run until sweat poured over my skin and my muscles burned like I’d been injected with liquid fire. For those few moments when my vision narrowed and it felt like my heart was going to give out, my mind was finally quiet. It was a reprieve I often chased but never found. Not since…not since him.

I was finishing up my final bench press reps two hours later when the rest of the team filtered into the gym, moaning and groaning as they shuffled around like a zombie hoard, downing iced water and staring at their phones. I racked the barbell, snagged my towel, and dabbed the sweat off my face before wiping down the bench. No one wanted to sit their ass on a wet bench; it was simple gym manners. Not many would say I had them, but I wasn’t here to make friends. I was here for one thing only—to get scouted and to win.

I chugged down some water as my eyes darted to the guys finally getting on with their workouts. They were slower than molasses. “If you’d stayed in like I said last night, you wouldn’t be feeling like you’d been hit by a mack truck this morning,” I grumbled loud enough for them to hear me if the uptake of their shoulders was anything to go by.

“Where’s the fun in that though, Cap?” Buchanan smirked at me in the mirror as he kicked up the pace on his treadmill.

“You should try living a little, Hargraves,” Vieck grunted on one of the bikes. I gave him my favorite finger, making him laugh then gag. Serves him right.

“Have you all forgotten what tonight is?”

“Oh! Oh! I know that one,” Stevens said behind me.

“Well?” I folded my arms over my chest and tapped my foot.

“It’s, ahh?” McCormack looked up from his bicep curls in confusion.

“It’s…IT’S OUR TURN TO HOST THE OPENING PARTY OF THE SEMESTER,” Stevens all but yelled as the room fell silent a moment before a chorus of groans rang out.

“Exactly!” I chucked my empty bottle in the trash and hung my towel around my neck. “I’m going to get the keys to the house and do an inventory log to make sure we get our deposit back tomorrow.”

“Whoop.” Stevens slapped my back and took an empty treadmill.

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