Page 93 of Felix

“Are we?” he says, tongue flicking my lip. “We should fight more often.”

“Christian,” I groan, nearly losing myself as he kisses down my neck. “My crabs.”

His breath huffs across my skin. “You should really reconsider how you phrase that.”

I laugh, a pained sound, as Christian pulls back. He kisses me once, a peck.

“I have an idea,” he says before standing up. “Can I grab your laptop?”

“Sure?”

He nods and walks off, grabbing my computer before swinging through the kitchen for a chair. He sets it beside the terrarium and places the laptop on top, and then he’s off again. I watch, perplexed, as he gathers pillows and a blanket, dropping them nearby before going back into the kitchen. He sticks a bag of popcorn in the microwave.

My throat feels tight as he returns, stopping to turn off one of the lights so it’s a little dimmer. He cues up Life on my laptop.

“You’re pretty great, you know that?” I say.

He gives me a soft smile as he fluffs his pillow. We lay the blanket over our laps, the bowl of popcorn between us, and watch the show.

After a minute, Christian says, “I feel like I’m kinda starting out in life, you know? Like I’m just now at this point where I’m thinking about my future and what I want that to be. I don’t… I don’t have a lot, Emil. There’s not a lot I can give you. But you said once that we should make the best out of what we have, and that’s something I can promise to do. I promise I’ll do my best to make you happy every day because I’m pretty sure, if we let it, this could be our future.”

“Christian,” I say, nearly at a loss for words.

He swallows, gaze on the popcorn between us. He looks self-conscious, not something I’m used to seeing. I give his chin a nudge so he looks at me.

“You have so much to give,” I tell him seriously. “I don’t need fancy dates or expensive gifts. I like walking with you in a stone-paved garden. I like writing my papers while you sew. I like… I like this. I like all of it. So whatever ideal you’re comparing us to, don’t bother, okay? You’ve made me happier than any other person has in a very long time. I don’t need things. I just want you.”

His lip wobbles, and I brush his hair back. It’s so soft when he wears it down, and not for the first time, I marvel at the beauty of it. Of him.

I’ve always thought of Christian as strong. It shines out of him in the way he stands and walks and carries himself. He’s proud of who he is, and he lends that strength to those around him. He makes me feel safe and secure when we’re together. And he looks out for those who’ve proven themselves trustworthy.

It’s easy to forget that Christian is young. That he has insecurities like the rest of us. That, for all the ways in which he’s world-wise, this is new to him, and he may need an occasional reminder that he’s on the right track.

“We’re not ever going to be like anybody else, you and me,” I say, tracing his eyes and the gentle slope of his nose with my gaze. “A closet exhibitionist-slash-psych geek and a gorgeous, skirt-wearing seamster who happens to enjoy fucking said exhibitionist in front of others?”

He huffs a small laugh.

“But it doesn’t matter,” I say truthfully. “The pieces of us are suited to one another, as impossible as that seems. I mean, seriously, how did I even find you?”

“I think it was asbestos,” he says softly.

I bark a laugh, and he smiles.

“My point is I can see a future with you, too, Christian. And if you’re planning on making me happy every single day, well, get ready. Because I’ll be doing my best to make you happy, too.”

“Well, shit,” he says, sighing dramatically. “However will I manage to cope?”

I bump his shoulder. “Stop being cute.”

“Can’t,” he says simply. “I’m always cute.”

I catch his lips with my own, biting gently. Releasing. “This…the two of us? It’s perfect, okay? Now restart the episode because someone made me miss David Attenborough’s voice.”

Christian shakes against me as he laughs. Finally, he breathes in, smacks a kiss against my lips, and reaches for the laptop. I spare a glance at the crabs, but neither has moved. Utterly content, I lean against my boyfriend’s side, knowing there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.

Chapter 24

Christian

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