Page 96 of Felix

“You would not believe the surgery I scrubbed in on this morning,” Julian is saying. The conversation veers to Julian’s job, and Emil stands beside me, nodding in all the right places, clearly listening. His eyes, though, are someplace else.

I give Emil a little tug when it’s polite to do so, the others talking about Eloise’s recent trip to Africa now.

“Do you think Rebecca is here?” I ask.

His face brightens at that. “Probably. Come on.”

I follow Emil into the living room, where more of his family are gathered. He does another round of introductions. There’s Uncle Bart. Aunt Sylvia. Cousins Mark and Calvin and Jessa. Emil asks Mark about his budding agricultural business. He knows about Bart’s hospital visit for his knee. He remembers Calvin’s girlfriend Gloria, who couldn’t make it today.

No one seems to know a damn thing about Emil.

I field a couple questions, staying away from the topic of porn, since Emil told me no one in his family knows about that. But we talk about how Emil and I met—the PG version of us being neighbors. And I admit I made my clothes when Jessa asks. She seems surprised by that, but not in a bad way.

After talking for a few minutes, Emil moves us along with a polite, “Excuse us.” I follow him up the stairs, my chest tight and lungs aching, as if they don’t have enough room to expand. It takes me a second to realize what it is I’m feeling. Indignation.

We find Henry and Rebecca in one of the bedrooms upstairs. Rebecca flies right off the bed, knocking into Emil. For the first time since we arrived, Emil’s shoulders lose their tension. He lets go of my hand to hug Rebecca back.

“Hey, Bec,” he says gently. When they disentangle, he gives his siblings a reproachful look. “What are you two doing up here?”

“Hiding, obviously,” Rebecca says, plopping back onto the mattress. Henry is sitting on the floor, and Emil walks over, bumping his brother’s foot.

“Hey,” Henry says, his focus on the same handheld video game he was playing the last time we met. His eyes flick up briefly, first to Emil and then to me. “Hey, Christian.”

“Hey, Henry. Nice to see you again,” I say.

Rebecca clears her throat loudly. “Emil. Are you going to introduce me?”

Emil snorts. “Bec, this is Christian, my boyfriend. Although you already know that.”

Rebecca gives me a big smile. “You’re really pretty.”

I let out a laugh. “Thanks. So are you.”

She beams wider.

“Why are you two hiding?” Emil asks, taking a seat on the floor next to Henry.

Rebecca gives him a look he can’t see from over his shoulder. “Uh, why are you?”

“Touché,” Emil mutters.

I sit down next to Rebecca, my leg against Emil’s shoulder. “Will we miss dinner if we’re up here?”

Everyone shakes their heads in unison, and I stifle a laugh.

“They’ll call us,” Emil says.

“Can’t miss it,” Henry answers.

“Okay, then,” I say, lips twitching.

“Is your grandma here?” Rebecca asks. Emil presses his shoulder into my leg, which I take as his way of letting me know he and his sister talked about her.

“No, she wasn’t feeling up to the trip,” I tell Rebecca.

Truthfully, I think part of it was not wanting to burden me, Emil, and the Reeds. I assured her she was welcome, but my grandma has always been fiercely independent in her own way. She had to be after losing both her husband and her son. Her decision to move into the assisted living facility was a way to ensure I wasn’t shouldering the responsibility of looking after her. I couldn’t change her mind back then, and neither could I convince her to come today.

Emil and I will go see her tomorrow.

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