Page 10 of Felix

Me: Do you think we’re in charge of our own destinies?

It’s a question that’s been on my mind a lot lately. Sometimes I wonder if my path in life has already been set. If I’m destined to end up like those who came before me: stuck in jobs I have no passion for, with few friends and even fewer joys in life. I don’t want that. I want more. Better.

Specs reads my text, and from this distance, I can just make out the crease in his brow as he frowns. If I could—and if he’d let me—I’d smooth it away.

Specs: I don’t believe in destiny.

Me: No?

Specs: No. There’s so much that happens in life that’s completely out of our control. Existence is chaos. We’re just atoms bound together in evolutionarily advantageous bundles, and along the way, that led to neural networks and high-functioning brains. You can pick out patterns in people and guess at their actions, but you can’t truly control anyone but yourself. The diversity on our planet alone? No, I don’t think that has anything to do with divine intervention. I think it’s evidence of the tenacity of life.

My heart beats fast, breath whooshing out of me as a smile curls my lips.

Me: Damn. You’re sexy when you talk nerdy.

Specs ducks his head, trying to hide his smile, but the divot in his cheek gives him away. He nudges his glasses up before typing again.

Specs: To answer your original question… I don’t believe in destiny, and no, I don’t think we’re in control of every facet of our lives. But I do think we’re responsible for making the best out of the situations we find ourselves in.

I hum.

Me: How do we know if the choices we’re making are the right ones?

Specs: I think you just have to trust your gut.

Me: You’re very wise.

He shakes his head.

Specs: Not really.

I snort. Pretty sure the guy is a literal genius.

Me: Accept the compliment, Specs. You have a nice ass and a nice brain. Both great qualities.

He looks as if he’s chuckling.

Specs: Thanks, I guess.

Me: Better. And you’re welcome.

I spin my phone in my hand before opening up the website Noel showed me. Elite 8 Studios. There’s not much I can access without a subscription, but I find the ad for the casting call and read it over again.

Adult entertainer. Exclusive filming rights. Open auditions. Generous compensation.

Could I fuck for pay? The idea isn’t unappealing. If anything, I’m intrigued. Despite what my more handsy former patrons might have thought, I’m no prude. I enjoy sex quite a lot. I just also believe in respecting a person’s boundaries, and I expect my partners to do the same.

But when it comes to fucking… There’s empowerment in making another person come. In making them feel good, even if only for a little while. I’ve never done that in front of cameras, but it could be fun.

My gaze pings out the window again, and I huff a laugh. Pretty sure Specs would enjoy the hell out of that.

Switching over to Noel’s contact info, I shoot him a text asking for his cousin’s number. Surely it couldn’t hurt to find out more about this Elite 8 Studios.

Specs said to trust my gut.

And my gut is telling me I’m ready for something new.

Chapter 3

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