Page 9 of Heart of a Defender

Lauren – I’m getting a bunch of bouncing dots and no words. That bad?

Me – A reporter. Nothing I can’t handle. You know me, badass big brother.

I drop a smile emoji but feel anything but smiley. Madison’s more than just a reporter. She’s under my skin, in my thoughts, and slowly settling in my heart.

Lauren – We’re not meant to carry burdens alone, Zach. It’s okay to be human and let your guard down once in a while. Is she cute?

What the fuck? My sister’s a mind-reading ninja.

Zach – Did I say the reporter was a woman?

Lauren – You didn’t have to. Woman’s intuition. She is cute, though, right?

Zach – No. She isn’t cute. She’s smart as a whip, asks a lot of pointed questions, and she hates pro athletes.

Lauren – Then I guess you better win her over. Don’t be a grumpy pants. Turn on the charm.

That’s just it. Too charming, and I might scare her off for good. She’ll think I’m just like every other half-cocked jock pumped up on ego steroids.

“Mind if I join you?” Madison’s voice cuts through the quiet. I look up from my phone, and she’s so much more than cute. She’s damn beautiful.

“Yeah, have a seat.” I shoot a quick gotta go back to Lauren and pocket the phone.

“You were really great with the kids today.” She fiddles with the sleeve of her cardboard coffee cup. “It’s obvious how much they look up to you. You’re their hero.”

“I don’t know about hero, and I’m not the only one trying to make a difference.” I hope she doesn’t think I’m coming across with some sense of self-modesty. It takes the whole team to raise the kind of money the children’s hospital needs. No way I could do it on my own.

“It must be hard, balancing everything. The pressure to perform, to be a role model, and still find time for things like this.” Madison looks at me, her eyes filled with curiosity and something else.

I shrug, trying to play it off, but the truth is, it’s overwhelming. “It’s a lot. But it’s worth it. My mom sacrificed a lot for me to be here. I owe it to her and Lauren to give my best and give back to the community who support me.”

“I have a confession.” Madison stares at me with somber eyes. “I looked you up online. I mean, research is my job, but that wasn’t my primary reason for doing a deep dive into the life of Zach Brooks. I’d like to understand the man behind the shoulder pads.”

It isn’t surprising she’d poke around on the internet. As clean as I’ve tried to live, there will always be some dirt. She must have gone down the rabbit hole with her nose in her laptop at practice.

She’s silent for a moment, then takes a deep breath. “I understand why you don’t like opening up to the press. It’s scary putting yourself out there. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be put on a pedestal while some jerk’s just waiting to knock you down.”

“There’s always someone who wants the limelight and will do anything to get it.” I lean back and rest my arm across the back of the bench. “What most guys don’t get, is being a pro athlete is a privilege. Whether we like it or not, we’re role models. It’s a choice to be a good one.”

“I won’t knock you down, Zach.” She sets the cardboard cup aside and leans back. Her shoulders and neck rest against my arm, and nothing could be more natural than this. “I dated a hockey player a few years back. He changed me. Made me wary of people, especially jocks. Like you, it’s hard for me to trust people.”

I’m surprised and heartened by her openness and feel the need for some honesty of my own. I close my eyes, remembering the cold, hard steel bench Lauren and I sat on in the police station lobby when we were just kids. Hours before, we ransacked every sofa and chair cushion in the house for loose change while Mom raided the grocery money jar she kept hidden from my father. She needed bail money for him, but we came up short.

“My father was an addict. It didn’t matter what substance. If he could snort it, guzzle it, or shoot it in his veins, it was all fair game. He went to jail when I was seven and never came back. I never understood why we weren’t good enough.” It’s cathartic to say it aloud after all these years, as if his burden was mine to carry. Funny the stories we tell ourselves to survive. “My biggest fear was that I would turn out just like him. I pushed myself, determined to do better, be better. I wanted to be someone my mom and sister could be proud of. When Mom got cancer, my whole world crumbled. I thought I’d lose her, too, but Lauren got me through it, and the team rallied around us when I was just a rookie.”

“I’m so sorry, Zach.” Madison twists her body to face me. Her knee brushes against my thigh, and it’s the human connection I need. “We’ve both got our reasons for safeguarding our secrets.”

I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of her words. We sit in silence, staring at each other while the night grows darker around us. When Madison begins to shiver, I pull her to me and tuck her into my body. She fits seamlessly next to me.

“Did he hurt you?” I ask, my protective nature getting the better of me. “I read your article about breaking free.”

Madison tenses, and I hold her a little closer, the warmth of our bodies thawing the cold wall surrounding my heart. The tension in her back eases, and she sinks into me, resting her head on my chest.

“Yes, but I’m stronger than I was then.” She looks up at me, the gold in her eyes dancing in the moonlight. “He can’t hurt me ever again.”

I’ll make damn certain of that.

My eyes drift to her rosy lips. Though it’s inappropriate, and I have no right, I’m inexplicably drawn to Madison. She represents everything I try to avoid and the kind of woman who challenges me. The magnetic pull between us is so great, it tugs at my heart and lungs to the point I can’t breathe.

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