Page 11 of Heart of a Defender

Wow. If Zach is the ultimate in secrecy and privacy, Lauren’s his polar opposite. Everyone wants a juicy story, but if I write one it sure as hell better be true. Sable Creek Times isn’t a gossip rag, though we will report shenanigans when there are facts to support the truth.

“Nothing juicy here unless you’ve got the inside scoop on something I don’t know about.” I feel icky dropping a lure and hoping she’ll bite.

“Oh, I’m not privy to torrid gossip.” Lauren doesn’t take her eyes off her brother. I can’t blame her. He’s formidable on the ice. “But I’ve brushed up on studying human nature. These men are larger than life. They push their bodies to do extraordinary things. They’re a force to be reckoned with on the ice.”

No real news there. I wouldn’t want to go toe-to-toe in the rink with any of them. I’ve already done a dance with one off the ice, and that didn’t go well. I came out on the losing side. Determination, therapy, and a lot of hard work on my self-confidence got me back to the starting line. I’m far from the home stretch, but I’m not doing so bad.

“I’ve seen them battered and bruised, getting stitched without lidocaine because they’re so pumped up with testosterone they can’t feel a darn thing.” Lauren shakes her head. “They think they have to be a powerhouse in real life, but they’re just like you and me. They have baggage and trust issues and are prone to being misunderstood. Compassion is often mistaken for weakness.”

She takes her eyes off the ice for the first time and looks me in the eye. Her dark chocolate eyes soften, and I see the weariness in them.

“When our mom was diagnosed with cancer, Zach had already lost a parent. I was too young to remember our father, but his leaving left a lasting impression on Zach.” Lauren frowns as she sighs. I listen quietly as she breaks down the family dynamic, hesitant to interrupt. “He’s constantly striving to prove himself worthy. Worthy of his place on the team, the attention he gets, and love.”

A dull ache squeezes my heart with every nugget I learn about the powerhouse on the ice. Zach isn’t an egomaniac. He’s a wounded man with the warped idea that he isn’t enough. Lauren glances back toward the ice as Zach races toward the goal. She’s so in tune with him, it’s as if she knows his every move.

“He almost quit hockey before the Saints drafted him, but Mom and I wouldn’t let him quit. As weak as she was, she insisted he fulfill his dream.” Lauren sits up straighter, her eyes fixed on the ice and her brother. “Now, he’s making our dreams come true, paying my tuition, contributing to cancer research. You name it, he’ll go out of his way to make it happen.”

Zach goes in for the kill shot, facing off against the goalie. He fakes to the left and shoots the puck to the right with a powerhouse shot. Lauren jumps to her feet, cheering as if a real game were in progress. My heart leaps with excitement as I scramble to my feet and join her.

Zach and I are more alike than I thought.

***

Zach

I’m surprised and momentarily distracted seeing Lauren in the stands. Lauren pops in to watch practice when she can, but her workload makes her visits increasingly rare. It’s also odd she’s chosen a seat in the press box next to Madison. Yet, there’s something warm and comforting about seeing them together, like they’re a natural fit. Like Madison and I are beginning to fit together.

I tap the ice with my stick, shaking the meandering thought aside. Now isn’t the time to contemplate life off of the ice. The team needs my head in the game.

Grady races down the center, flanked by defense. He hits the puck to me, and it slides across the ice with the precision of a crackerjack shooter. I fake left and swing right, slamming the puck past the goalie to score.

Lauren’s unmistakable wolf whistle echoes in the arena. I glance into the stands expecting to see a huge smile plastered across her face, but it’s Madison who takes me by surprise. She scrambles to her feet with glittering eyes and a beaming smile that blindsides me. My heart careens into my ribs, heavier and harder than the most grueling workout. Desire rips through me with a thunderous roar and hits me like a ton of bricks.

I’ve been in love with Madison from the moment I first laid eyes on her. We’re kindred spirits. Souls in search of something bigger than who we are alone.

“Looks like you’ve got a groupie, Brooks.” Granger bumps into me and chuckles as he gets in position to resume play. “Don’t get all soft on us now.”

I lower my gaze and shake my head, a bit sheepish. Granger’s got my number. If he can see through me, it’s only a matter of time before Madison does.

Our scrimmage game resumes, and I keep my nose to the grindstone. By the time Coach calls practice and we’re cooling down with laps around the rink, Lauren and Madison are gone from the stands. Lauren hangs around as long as she can, but it’s never long. I’m hoping Madison’s still in the building.

I rush through my shower and make a beeline for the locker room exit, hoping to find Madison propped against the wall with her nose in her phone or scribbling on her notepad. As soon as I see her, relief spreads through my bones. But the feeling is fleeting. She glances up and pushes off the wall, a frown turning the corners of her mouth downward.

“Everything okay?” I ask hesitantly. Whatever’s changed her mood from earlier has my protective hackles raised.

“I haven’t been fair to you, Zach.” Her voice is barely a whisper as she holds her notebook tightly to her chest like a protective shield. “I let my past cloud my judgment and projected that onto you.”

“Hey, I get it.” To be fair, I assumed the worst about her, too. “We’ve both got baggage. Things in our past we’d rather not relive.”

“That’s the thing. It’s hard to trust people once we’ve been burned.” She looks up at me with conflicted eyes wrought with sadness. “My editor wants your story, but if I write it, I’m afraid I can’t be impartial.”

My heart sinks to my gut. My worst fear becomes a reality. Madison will open up my personal life like a can of worms for everyone to read. Bile rises in my throat. I should have gone with my gut from the start and kept her at arm’s length.

“Do whatever you think you have to, but leave Lauren and my mom out of it.” I clench my jaw, powerless to protect them from internet trolls and wayward fans.

Madison’s eyes widen in surprised horror. “That’s not what I meant. I would never.”

She grabs my arm, and my body can’t help but react to her, no matter how the gnawing ache of loss and betrayal hits me in the gut.

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